Friends or Lovers? Part 11
When the first rays of sun came through the bedroom window, Edwin opened his eyes and quickly closed them again as a stab of pain shot through his head. His wrist was hurting too, though he could not quite recall having hurt it. Strangely, there was an arm around his waist, a warm body pressing against his back, and for a moment; the wizard struggled to remember whom it belonged to, without actually having to open his eyes and check. It didn’t take him long.
Kane. He stayed like he promised.
In a flash, the events of the previous night came back to him. How he had been so upset by Viconia’s cruel words that, drunk and exhausted, he had slashed his wrist with his dagger. He still couldn’t believe he had been so stupid, and he dreaded to think what Teacher Dekaras would have to say if he ever heard about it, but at least things had worked out in the end. He was still surprised the warrior had been so understanding about it all, but he was happy.
Being with Kane, finally being able to touch him and have the warrior touch him, being able to fall asleep in his arms, their bodies still tangled together, had been just as good as Edwin had imagined it would be. He had been very nervous, not that he would ever have admitted it, but that only made the whole thing more exciting. All he wanted now was to stay where he was for as long as possible.
Trying not to wake Kane, Edwin rolled over onto his side so that he could watch him. The warrior shifted slightly and mumbled something, but his eyes remained closed. He looked almost peaceful laying there, his raven hair spread out across the pillows, and the wizard was glad for it meant that he had not been troubled by nightmares that night. Reluctant to wake him just then, Edwin closed his eyes again and tried to relax. He still couldn’t believe that he had tormented himself for so long, all for nothing.
But how were you to know that he felt the same way? Especially after the drow’s comments. He never gave any clue, at least none that I noticed.
But now there was something else for him to worry about. What would happen now? Would things be different in the morning light? Still, even if Kane didn’t want to repeat it, Edwin knew that the pain would be worth it. Whatever happened, at least he had had the chance to be in Kane’s arms for just one night.
“Morning, Eddie,” the warrior said sleepily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He certainly didn’t seem surprised to find Edwin lying next to him. “Feeling better?”
“Of course,” Edwin answered at once. “Much better.”
“Are you just saying that?” Kane raised an eyebrow, leaving the wizard in no doubt that he didn’t quite believe him. “Those cuts you had on your wrist looked very painful and you were so drunk that I refuse to believe that you don’t have a headache. Or are you just determined to pretend that everything is all right and not make a fuss?” He smirked and pressed the wizard closer to him. “That is definitely the old Edwin, which has to be a good thing. I was beginning to miss your sarcastic comments and your weird sense of humour that no one but you can really understand and the way you walk around muttering to yourself.”
“I do not-” Edwin started to protest, but Kane didn’t let him finish his sentence, instead giving him a long, slow kiss, which Edwin quickly and eagerly responded to. When they finally parted for breath, they lay in silence, neither wanting to say anything to ruin the moment.
Edwin wanted to ask how his leader felt about things, what would happen between them now, but he didn’t dare. The previous night had only strengthened his feelings for Kane, but he was aware that the warrior might have viewed it as no more than a bit of fun, not to be repeated, and he wasn’t completely sure that he could bear that. But finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer. He needed to know.
“Last night,” he started; hoping that he didn’t sound too bothered. “Was it all right for you?”
“It was fine.” Kane smiled at him, amused by the question. “You were great for a beginner. And would I be right in thinking that you enjoyed yourself as much as I did?”
“It was all very strange,” Edwin answered honestly. Kane chuckled lightly but did not speak. “But still wonderful. Being with another man, being with you, it just felt…strangely right. Everything I imagined it would be…and more. But I have to know, what now? Was last night just one night of madness, never to be repeated?”
“If I was nothing more than a bit of fun for you, I would rather you tell me straight. I just want to know, what did last night mean to you?”
“Edwin,” Kane repeated, a little unsettled by the wizard’s questions. He didn’t want to lie, but neither did he want to hurt his friend. “Last night was great and I’d love a repeat performance, several if you are willing. But although I do care about you, I don’t want you thinking that this is any different from what I had with Viconia. I won’t make any long-term plans or promises, if I meet someone else then that’s just the way it is. I don’t do love, if you want to be my lover then you have to accept that.”
Edwin fell silent, considering this. But there was not really a choice to make. Spending the night with Kane had only served to strengthen his feelings for the warrior and walking away now just wasn’t an option. Besides, there was always the possibility, however remote, that Kane might just return his feelings if given time.
“I shall accept whatever you feel you can give me,” he said finally. “For now at least.”
“I was really hoping you would say that.” Kane pulled the wizard against him and kissed him fiercely. “I have to ask, do you mind if I call you Eddie? As a…pet name, something I can use when we are alone together?”
“I don’t mind, no.” He was speaking the truth. He usually hated it with a passion, particularly when it was Kagain or Viconia using it to address him, but he liked the way Kane said it. “But try not to use it in public. After all, everyone should be aware that I am actually the great and intimidating Edwin Odesseiron and-” he broke off as Kane laughed. “And what do you find so amusing?”
“I know you are, Eddie,” he said, still grinning, “and there will only ever be one of you. Which is just as well really, as I don’t think the realms could possibly handle more than one of you. Just shut up now and kiss me again, eh?”
The two men lay in each other’s arms for several minutes, exchanging kisses. They felt comfortable, at ease with each other. Neither of them spoke, words just didn’t seem necessary.
Finally Kane glanced over at the window and gave a sigh.
“As wonderful as it would be to lie here like this all day,” he said quietly. “We really should think about getting up. Kagain and Viconia will be up soon.” He paused briefly before continuing. He had tried hard not to think of his previous lover. “I wonder what she thought about my disappearing act last night.”
“I think she probably suspects that you have been here,” Edwin turned away. He too had been trying not to think of the drow. “She knew of my feelings for you at least. What are you going to do about her?”
“Tell her it’s over.” Kane shrugged and sat up, looking around to see where he had thrown his shirt and trousers. “I’ll have to talk to her, explain things. I really don’t want to hurt her any more than I have to. I may not love her, not like she loves me, but I still care about her.”
“The best thing to do is to tell her straight,” the wizard offered. “But I doubt that she will give up on you easily.”
“I know. But I can deal with Vic. Don’t worry, Eddie, I’m not going to jump back into bed with her, start playing you off against each other. You are the one I want to be with for now. But no pressure, eh? We’ll just see how it goes.”
Friends or Lovers? Part 11
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