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Hamster Action


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#1 Guest_Chantrys_*

Posted 02 April 2004 - 04:00 PM

Note: To the tune of (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction, by the Rolling Stones. Once again, this may sound dirty, but it's really not. Really really really.
 
I can't get no hamster action
I can't get no hamster action
Though I try, and I try, and I try, and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm loungin' in the bar
And Minsc lets Boo come out to play
And I’m tellin' him about my aunt
Who lost her cat to rabid griffins
Supposed to fire his imagination
But he says, “Bad Jan, oh no no no!
Get away, or I’ll kick boo-tay!”

I can't get no hamster action
I can't get no hamster action
Though I try, and I try, and I try, and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no

So I'm stealin' Boo for tea
when that Ano comes to lay down
his uptight Helmite philosophy
So I tell him a story, one, two, three,
But he ignores me and says most arrogantly,
”You can't have him, oh no no no!
Get away, or by Helm, you’ll pay!”

I can't get no hamster action
I can't get no hamster action
Though I try, and I try, and I try, and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no

When we’re travellin' round the world
And I'm fightin' this and I'm stealin’ that
And Immy comes and holds out Boo
And tells me, “Jan, I’ll let you have him if you shut up for a week.”
I say, “Fine,” and find I'm on a losing streak.
I can't have him, oh no no no!
But I’ll find a way, that's what I say.

(Along with many other things, like the time my Aunt Petunia found her newest faithful animal companion, a giant fire-breathing slug. It was just adorable the way it would follow her about, leaving a fifty-foot streamer of slime behind it, not unlike the trail of drool that you emit whenever you look at our lovely leader, Ano. Anyway, she named it Sabrina, and she taught it how to do magic tricks, like making Helmites disappear! They were in great demand for parties, as you can imagine. Oh, the glorious times she had playing fetch with it, prancing around in the daisies while it oozed after her stick. Those games lasted for months...)

[Jan babbles on and on as the music fades out.]




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