Jump to content


The Angst and The Analyst X (Part I)


  • Please log in to reply
No replies to this topic

#1 Guest_MorningGlory_*

Posted 18 March 2004 - 05:44 AM

THE ANGST AND THE ANALYST

From the Journals and Papers of Dr. MorningGlory Gaeston
(Rated PG-13: Adult themes, mild language, mild violence, ‘divine’ nudity)

Chapter X – Part 1

I knelt down to tend to Father. He was still breathing, thank the Gods. I checked his pulse. Not particularly weak but a little rapid and he was still ashen. I couldn’t readily ascertain if he had passed out from the shock of what I said, or from a physical cause and it worried me greatly. I looked up and Waukeen stood in her doorway, a look of near shock on her exquisite features. Her iridescent golden eyes immediately struck me as her long radiant hair draped perfectly over her delicate bare shoulders. She was only partially wrapped in a sheet.

“What have you done to my Father?” I asked, angry and indignant. Well, that was foolishly brazen of me, I thought and immediately wished I could retract the words. I scare my Father, he passes out, and I blame her, a Goddess. Consistent behavior for a mortal, but I didn’t know if it was going to be understood by a Goddess.

“Oh, Glory. What happened? I heard you and Tabor here in the hall,” she said, her melodious voice full of immediate concern as she modestly grappled with the sheet. “This is all my fault and I am so, so sorry. Here, let me help.” She knelt beside me and put her hands on Father. A short incantation and his color instantly returned. She cradled his head in her lap and a moment later he began to stir. “Tabor,” she said softly. “Tabor, my darling.” She stroked his face gently. “Are you alright, my darling?”

“Father, are you hurt? Are you alright?” I asked still patting his hand. I checked his pulse again. It had returned to normal.

“Glo…Glory? Is that you?” he asked as he opened his eyes and began to focus his vision. He immediately looked up into Waukeen’s face. “By the Gods, you ARE Waukeen,” he whispered in awe.

I worried he was going to faint yet again, or worse.

“Yes, Tabor, I am,” she smiled down at him still holding his head and caressing his face.

“I….I…was on my way to the pantry to fetch more wine for us, and I met Glory here in the hall. She…she startled me and then told me you were the Goddess Waukeen. I…I…guess it all took me by surprise. I…I guess I fainted.” He laughed nervously and attempted to sit upright.

“Tabor, it was wrong of me not to tell you myself,” Waukeen confessed. “Please forgive my selfishness. But we had such a wonderful evening together and I didn’t want it to end so soon. I just wanted to spend more time with you in, shall we say, a more intimate atmosphere. I thought if you knew who and what I am, you might change your mind and that would end it. I…I know how you feel about the Gods, Tabor, and I deceived you for my own ends, and I am truly sorry.”

She was genuinely contrite and I listened closely to the very human quality present in her words. Was I hearing a thinly veiled fear of rejection? It wasn’t inconceivable she could develop such a fear from my Father, and since she had read his heart, she knew of his great disdain for the Deities in general.

As for Father, this was an aspect of him with which I was totally unacquainted. He was always ‘Father’ to me, asexual and paternal. I had never given a thought to any personal desire or need for a woman’s physical companionship. Granted, his reputation for his charm and finesse with the fairer sex was widespread, and the ladies of the city always avidly pursued him socially, seeing as how he was an eligible bachelor. Any hint, much less confirmation, of any masculine prowess had totally escaped my attention. But, it quickly occurred to me that as his daughter, I would probably be the last person to hear any whisperings or musings that undoubtedly made the rounds of ladies’ circles about his more charming, personal and intimate talents. Then there was the subtle inference by Sir Ryan earlier in the evening. It was all coming into focus for me.

As I knelt there, I realized I had never been confronted with the possibility, let alone the fact, that my Father copulated. That stark reality, in and of itself, was difficult for me, his Daughter, to accept. But the thought of him engaging in carnal pleasure with my future mother-in-law, a Goddess, was definitely beyond my realm of comprehension at this moment.

We helped Father to his feet. He instinctively smoothed his robe and brushed back his silver-laced black hair with his fingers.

“I am very flattered that you would desire to deceive me so, my Lady and no apology is necessary,” he began. He was quickly composing himself. “And, I must admit I have never been seduced by so lovely a being from this, or any plane.”

I suddenly felt awkward and that I was eavesdropping on what sounded much like the beginning of verbal foreplay. I was not ready to listen to what I suddenly knew would be my Father’s skilled banter. Especially as it was being delivered to a partially clad Goddess who stood enamored with each word he spoke.

“Father, if you are alright, I will return to bed. I suddenly realize that I don’t want that little raspberry cake after all,” I interrupted, quickly looking for a reason to excuse myself.

“Yes, dear Daughter, I am fine, I assure you.” He leaned and kissed me on my forehead. “Perhaps, the lovely Waukeen and I should continue this conversation in private.” I was being summarily dismissed. He then turned to her and smiled, “But first, allow me to excuse myself and I shall retrieve a bottle of 100-year old brandy that I have been saving for such a, er, discussion,” and he turned and as though nothing had happened at all, walked down the hallway in pursuit of the brandy. He had every intention of returning and resuming where he had left off!

“I am so very sorry, Glory, if I have caused any problem for you, or between you and your Father. I wouldn’t dream of disrupting the wonderful relationship that you share,” she said.

“No, Waukeen,” I sighed. “No apology is necessary. I shouldn’t have been so hasty in affixing blame. Please understand it is sometimes difficult for mortal children to realize and accept their parents as being fully functioning mortals as well.” I couldn’t believe my own voice. Dr. MorningGlory knew it was true, but I wasn’t sure if, MorningGlory, the daughter, was ready to totally accept it. “Just promise me you won’t let him, er, over-exert himself.” I paused. “Now that he knows you really are a Goddess, his ego may get in the way of his common sense.” Yes, that was the practical MorningGlory-taking-care- of-Father speaking.

“Do not worry, Glory,” she laughed softly. “I will not test his physical endurance. He will be perfectly safe with me, I promise. I would let nothing harm your Father, I assure you.” She leaned and kissed me on the cheek and for a brief moment I caught the scent of sweet honey flowers.

I returned to our apartment and resumed my place beside Hendak.

“Did you get your cake?” he mumbled.

“No, my journey was interrupted by my Father leaving your Mother’s bedroom,” I said and waited for a response. “Didn’t you hear me call you?” He ignored my question.

“Well, the old fox,” Hendak mumbled and chuckled softly. “Good for him.”

“It doesn’t bother you….that your Mother and my Father…,” I began.

“No. Should it? Wizards and Goddesses have needs, too, my love,” he was still quietly chuckling.

He was no help and I was annoyed with him that he wasn’t indignantly outraged at their behavior as I had been. And, MorningGlory, the daughter, was still very ill at ease about the matter. I lay there continuing the debate with myself. I tried to adopt the attitude of a mature woman.

Yes, any woman, Goddess or mortal, would be lucky to have my Father in her bed, I told myself. He was handsome, successful, intelligent, charismatic, and very virile. Oh, my! It was suddenly obvious to me that the ladies of city didn’t want him around only to chat it up! And why shouldn’t he have a private, romantic life with whomever, and whenever, he chose? He was, after all, a responsible adult and had every right to do so.

Egads, I was trying to justify my Father’s actions, or inactions, to myself about something that was simply none of my business! Why couldn’t I just let him be him? He was my Father and I loved him regardless of what he did, or with whom. This was all a shock to me and I was simply going to have to get used to the idea that he was also a mortal man with all of the physical wants and needs that accompany the human condition.

Hendak rolled over and slid his arm under my shoulders and pulled me close to him. “He’s your Father, Glory, I know…but he was a man first. I don’t believe he will ever forget he is both.” He had summed it up in a nice, neat package, and he was right. “Now, time to sleep. Soon-to-be husband needs sleep. Babies need sleep. Soon-to-be wife-and-mother needs sleep.” He was right about that, as well.

We met Father and Waukeen at breakfast the next morning.

“A lovely party!” Father was ebullient. “A grand time was had by all, don’t you agree, Glory?” If a man could be described as ‘radiant,’ Father was it this morning. I found myself actually very happy for him.

“Father,” I began. I had been thinking about what I would say ever since I arose. I had awakened feeling very guilty for being wrongfully judgmental toward them, and I owed them both an apology. “I…I owe you, and you, Mother Waukeen, an apology for last evening.” He raised his hand and stopped me.

“No, my Daughter, you do not. It is I who owe you an apology for not being, shall we say, more discreet, considering the, um, circumstances. My Daughter should not be subjected to her Father roaming the hallways after hours in search of refreshment for his lover’s thirst. Waukeen and I have discussed this and it is both she and I who owe you the apology. Our lack of discretion demonstrated great insensitivity and disregard to both you and Hendak. As for what occurred between Waukeen and I, that is exactly where it should have stayed, and we should have been more sensitive to our immediate surroundings. I should have also been more aware of your feelings, Daughter, and for that I am truly sorry.” He paused a long moment and a wide smile spread across his face. “And consequently, to that end, our lovely Waukeen has accepted my invitation to share my quarters during her stay with us. That should eliminate the need for any late-night quest of a lovers’ tryst.” Father leaned over and gently caressed Waukeen’s beautiful hand.

Father had spoken, and that would be the end of the issue as far as he was concerned. I was secretly thankful his quarters were on the west side of the great house. They would have complete privacy and I didn’t have to think of Father and Waukeen being together. This was still going to take time for me, the Daughter.

“And Mother,” Hendak said, thoughtfully changing the subject, “what did you think of our little party? Did Tabor introduce you to the nobility of our fair city?”

“Oh, yes. Tabor was the perfect host,” and she began to recount the many people she met and her impressions of them. She was as charming as Father. For a mortal and a god, I could see they were a perfect match.

Then I felt it.

The first movement of life within. It was only a slight repositioning of a tiny arm or leg, but it was the epiphany of motherhood. I instinctively cupped my stomach with my hands waiting for the next movement.

“My love? Are you alright?” Hendak said, apparently in response to the look upon my face. I nodded as I was momentarily speechless. I picked up his hand and put it on the slight paunch of my stomach. Another movement, more pronounced.

“I….I felt it!” Hendak whispered with amazement .

“It’s the babies,” Waukeen smiled knowingly at Father and patted his hand warmly. “They have finally ‘awakened.’”

“Babies?” asked Father. “Babies? As in, more than one?” He looked at me. I nodded again still speechless.

“How many babies?” he asked wide-eyed.

“Two, Tabor,” said Waukeen sweetly. “Two beautiful children. A boy and a girl to light up our lives.”

“A boy and a girl?” Father’s voice resounded. “Oh, how absolutely glorious! Two beautiful children!” He was ecstatic. The last of hidden truth was revealed.

I had decided not to go to my office as I had no appointments for the day and had arranged for Charona to leave at noon if she wished. I was still a bit tired from the excitement of the previous evening and decided to laze about as much as possible. Hendak was going to the Coronet for a few hours and would return mid-afternoon that he might spend time with his Mother, one-on-one. Father was occupied at the Cowled Wizards the entire day, but did arrange to take Waukeen to mid-day meal with Sir Ryan. She would again wear a veil to protect her identity and Father came up with the excuse of it being ‘the custom of her people’ as an explanation to outsiders. I think he enjoyed the idea of squiring his lovely companion about the city in public. I tried to remember the last time he had done so and could not think of a single instance. Except for rare social occasions, he was always alone. I wondered if the ladies of the city would soon be chittering about his ‘attachment’ to the mysterious mother of Hendak.

It was mid-morn and I sat curled up in the cushioned window seat of our apartment parlor. Staring out across the north side of the city, I could see the spires of Waukeen’s Church just beyond the city wall and the white tops of pleasure craft sailing on the water to the northeast. I was still reflecting on my Father as I had for most of the morning. His demeanor at breakfast was having a decided impact on me. It made me sad to think he had been lonely all these years and I didn’t even know it. I just had never seen him any other way and assumed he was happy and content. He had adapted, because of me. And, maybe he was overall content, but I had never seen him as alive as he was this morning. My ruminations were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Enter,” I called. The door opened.

“May I interrupt your reverie?” It was a smiling and happy Waukeen.

“Please do. Please come in,” I said and swung my feet around to the floor.

“Please do not get up,” she said. “You look so comfortable, and there is no reason to move. I’ll just move a chair by you.” She waved her hand and a chair appeared. It bore a marked resemblance to the patient chair in my office. “I hope you don’t mind, it’s my favorite chair from home. I’ll move it to Tabor’s parlor when we have finished visiting.”

“Of course not,” I replied, properly amazed. “Shall I ring for tea?”

“No need to,” she smiled and waved her hand again. A small service table appeared complete with tray of tea, cups, and gooey raspberry pastries. The tea was hot and the pastries were still warm from whatever oven they emerged. “I will serve,” she said and then attended to pouring the tea with her own two hands.

“I wanted to take this opportunity to again apologize to you, Glory. It was not my intention to become ‘involved’ with your Father in a physical manner when I arrived. Even Goddesses cannot always predict the future, you know.” She smiled sweetly.

“Mother Waukeen, you do not need to apologize again. It is I who should be thanking you.”

She looked at me, eyes aglow.

“I have never seen my Father more animated. More alive. And I know it is in large part because of you and your evening together. You… you revitalized him. I…I didn’t realize my Father had been so lonely until this morning.” I couldn’t keep the note of sadness from my voice.

“It is not your fault, dear child. And, your Father would be terribly upset if he thought you blamed yourself.” She was reading my emotions. “It was your Father’s choice and he has no regrets of his years of self-imposed solitude. He did what he thought necessary for your well being without any thought for himself. In my domain, finding such an unselfish mortal is a rarity, indeed.” Her admiration for my Father was clear in her voice.

“This has been an awakening for me, Mother Waukeen. I can’t bear the idea that Father is ‘alone.’ And I don’t know what I can do about it.”

“There is nothing you can do, Daughter. It is up to him to make his own choices. You, of all people, should know that,” she replied and handed me my cup.

“But what is going to happen after you leave to go ..home?” The thought had just occurred to me. What was going to happen to Father? What if he fell in love with her?!?

“We will cross that bridge when we come to it, dear one,” she said. “Right now, your Father is truly the least of your concerns.” She saw the furrows etching their way across my forehead. “Glory, your Father is a wonderful, wonderful mortal. He is free of the usual human encumbrances, and he is strong of spirit and will. If he were not, he would have succumbed many years ago. And, you, my darling girl, are so very much like him, although you may not realize it yet. He will survive and he will survive well, I promise.” She reached to touch my cheek and her words were very comforting. “Now, tell me, have our babies decided to make their presence more known?”

“Just a small movement here and there,” and I smiled at her.

We continued to talk about the twins until Drusay arrived to announce her carriage was waiting downstairs. Waukeen rose, bid me a goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and left. Drusay lingered until after Waukeen departed.

“Madam Glory, might I trouble you for a moment?” he timidly asked.

“Of course, Drusay. How might I help you?”

“Master Hendak’s Mother. She really is the Goddess Waukeen, if I may ask?”

“Yes, Drusay,” I replied. “She really is the Goddess Waukeen. But as I am sure Father told you, that is our little secret until the Union Ritual. Does it trouble you as to who she is? Is there some sort of problem?”

“Oh, no, Madam. She’s just so very nice ‘in person’. Not at all what one might expect of a Goddess. Very almost human-like.” His voice trailed off, and he picked up the ornate, gem-encrusted tea tray and removed it from the room. I knew he was wondering where it came from. Waukeen had already ‘sent’ her chair down to Father’s private parlor when Drusay had knocked at the door.

The afternoon was no less lazy. Waukeen had returned from a wonderful time with Father and Sir Ryan where they had regaled her with stories of their youthful foolishness. Hendak had come home to have noon meal with me and then he and Waukeen had retired to the beautiful flower garden below our windows that Mother could shower attention on Son. They sat on one of the stone benches deep in conversation as I sat and watched from my window above.

I had brought a couple of Delryn’s files home with me knowing I would have a chance to thoroughly review them in the quiet of the afternoon. It would be an interesting session tomorrow. Riona had told me during a private moment last evening that he was attempting to open up more but was having a difficult time translating and communicating the tangled feelings he was encountering. It was frustrating for him and had resulted in a few tense moments between them.

We converged in the lounge for Father’s usual round of aperitifs prior to dinner. I was surprised to see a small group of musicians playing.

“A small group of talented folk -- blind, and formerly of the eyeless cult,” he explained to me and smiled. “No reason we should jeopardize our lovely Lady’s identity and no reason to not have wonderful entertainment during the interim!”

After dinner we returned to the lounge and listened to more music. Father danced with Waukeen and I soon felt tired and ready to retire for the evening. Hendak and I excused ourselves and left the two to their own devices.

“Are you feeling better about your Father?” Hendak asked me as I lay my head on his shoulder.

“I…I think so,” I replied. “I think I am more concerned now with what will happen to him when your Mother goes ..’home’.”

“Do not worry about Tabor, my love. I think my Mother is exactly what he needs at this moment in time,” he said thoughtfully. “You will see as time goes on.” His words were reassuring and I snuggled in closer to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

@@@

It felt good to be back in my office after several days of absence.

“Mistress,” said Ki utilizing Lord Phade’s voice. “Babies are growing nicely. I note a marked difference in the size of your stomach since last I saw you.”

“Oh, Ki!” I laughed not expecting such a comment. “You are almost too observant for your own good!”

“And, Mistress, I have never seen you look more lovely. Impending motherhood certainly agrees with you.”

“Are you angling for an extra treat, Ki?”

“Well, Mistress, if you feel compelled, I am not one to say no…” he replied.

“Glory!” I turned and Delryn stood at the door with a wide smile on his face.

“Come in, Anomen. I was just feeding my neglected Ki.” I was glad to see Anomen. He was not just a patient. He was someone I personally cared very much for and I wanted him to be happy. He walked over to Ki’s perch.

“Good morning, Ki,” he said. “You’re looking handsome as ever.” He reached out to gently pat Ki’s feathered head.

“Good morning, Master Anomen,” Ki allowed this and replied amidst a partial beak full of seeds. I was surprised that Ki even acknowledged him. But then Anomen was the first patient to ever talk directly to Ki and it flattered the bird to be recognized. Obviously, the slight of many days ago was forgiven and forgotten. “And the lovely Riona?” asked Ki as he swallowed and shifted from foot to foot on his perch. That was very bold of Ki, to ask about someone – anyone!

“She is just that, Ki…,” he replied. “Lovely as ever.” Ki briefly ruffled his feathers. Oh my! Did my lovely Kirani bird have a crush on the lovely Riona? I chuckled to myself at the possibility.

Charona served our usual tea and Anomen seated himself in his now usual fashion as we began our session.

“Have you been getting acquainted with your newly found Father?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, we have been able to spend some time together for which I am most grateful. We’re getting acquainted.”

“And..?” I prodded him on.

“It’s more than I could have ever asked for in this lifetime. We.. we have so many of the same interests, and our views are so similar on many things… But it all frightens me.”

“How?”

“I’m afraid I am going to wake up and find it all a dream.”

“You do realize that as you continue to establish your relationship with Sir Ryan, that fear will go away.”

“I..I suppose.” And he grinned. “Rather like I had the same fear about Riona in the beginning. I was afraid she would go away because I felt I wasn’t worthy of her.”

“And she hasn’t gone away, has she?”

“No,” he continued to smile. “No, she hasn’t. She has seen the worst and never wavered.”

I wanted to steer him in another direction. “Have you given any more thought to what we discussed last time about Lord Cor’s influence upon you?”

He looked down and nodded. “Yes, and I tried to talk with Riona about it but I just couldn’t quite get it out where it made sense. I can see and feel it in here,” he tapped his chest then glanced up. “But I have a difficult time comprehending it and making sense of it here.” He moved his hand to gesture to his temple.

“Then, let me pose a question for you and you think about it before you answer,” I began. “Do you think Lord Cor could have know exactly what to say to you to trigger you to take action against his enemy for his sole benefit? And, more importantly, do you believe he would have done so?”

His head still down, he thought long and hard.

“Yes,” he finally said. “But I knew better, and still I acted with reckless disregard. It was me that did it, not him.”

“So you believe your actions were totally within your own purview and nothing outside of yourself influenced your decision for such behavior?” I asked.

“No, I do not believe that. I believe that my rage stirred me to such ends and that my actions were those not of rational thought.” He raised his head to look at me.

“Would you concede that it is possible that Lord Cor knew exactly what to say to you to influence your rage and stir such irrational actions towards Saerk?”

“Y..yes.” His voice was barely audible and softly choked. “It was his words, his accusations of my dishonor to my family name and my sister’s memory that enraged me so. He called me a coward in not defending Moira’s honor, not avenging her death. He said I was a coward for shirking my family duty.” He buried his face in his hands.

“Anomen,” I said softly, “you are not a coward. Cowards do not march into the nine hells to protect their loved one. Cowards do not fight at the foot of the Throne of Bhaal. Cowards do not free slaves. Cowards do not stand between their Mother and her drunken husband in the hopes of protecting her from harm.” His hands still covered his face as though there was something right in front of him that he did not wish to see. I plowed on.

“Do you think it is possible that Lord Cor manipulated you into taking vengeance for his own selfish reasons when Moira died?” I put it plainly. “Do you think he knowingly provoked you to such action, knowing full well what the consequences would be, and with total disregard to you?”

“Yes.. yes.. the son-of-a-bitch,” he nodded and whispered from behind his hands. He paused and his voice began to rise into a grand wail crackling with bitter emotion. “The son-of-a-bitch knew all along that Saerk was innocent and he knew exactly what to say to me to manipulate me into killing him for his own selfish purposes. The son-of-a-bitch knew I would go and do his wicked evil deeds for him. I…I was his puppet and he knew exactly how to pull the strings!” His body trembled with his anger.

He suddenly clinched his hands into balled fists and sent them crashing down full force upon the edge of my desk. The wood split neatly and cleanly at the overhang then fell with a loud clattering noise to the floor. Ki squawked in surprise, and I flinched, but Anomen was unaware of what he had done. “THE SON-OF-A-BITCH KNEW WHAT I WOULD DO!” He was now red-faced and screaming.

“THE SON-OF-A-BITCH KNEW… HE KNEW I WASN’T HIS SON AND HE KNEW HOW TO USE ME TO HIS OWN PURPOSES. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME JUST AS HE HAD DONE MY WHOLE LIFE!” Hot tears rolled from his eyes and he again slammed his fists onto the desk. The raw splintered edge caught the tender fleshy side of his hand and split it open. Blood splattered across my papers and the front of my dress.

I didn’t care if he made the desk into kindling. He had opened this dark door for himself and he had to get this out, and now. There was no turning back. He slammed the desk again, and again his blood flew across me and my notes.

“HE KNEW, GLORY.. HE KNEW I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM LOVE AND ACCEPT ME AND HE USED IT TO GAIN HIS OWN ENDS.”

He then collapsed back into the chair and covered his face with his hands, blood trickling down the side of his arm to his elbow. “How I hate him so,” he moaned, his screaming stopped, and his body racked with sobs. “How I hate him so. What I sacrificed for him so that he would love me, would accept me. I gave up my life’s dream for that son-of-a-bitch, with the hope that he would finally love me as I always wanted him to.. ” He continued to sob, the shudders abated.

Charona quietly opened the door and I waved her out. She nodded and closed the door. He was completely oblivious to the brief interruption.

“Anomen, he used you. He manipulated you into doing something you would have never done otherwise,” I said softly. “The death of Saerk and his daughter is not totally of your doing. You were duped into it. You were goaded by factors he engrained in you when you were a small child.” I stopped to let him absorb this. “It does not absolve you for your actions, but maybe now you will understand better why you did what you did.”

He took his hands from his face. Blood mixed with tears were smeared along the right side of his face down into his dark beard. A small rivulet had started to streak down his neck. I imagined this was similar to the blood he spilled in battle. It was ironic that so personal a battle would bring such physical wounds. He still had not noticed his injured, bleeding hand as it continued to drip onto the chair and the floor.

I nodded toward it. He looked and the wound instantly mended and disappeared. I gathered a small towel out of my desk drawer and doused it with water from our tea tray. I offered it to him. He slowly and silently wiped his hands, his arm and then his face. He had stopped sobbing and he finally spoke.

“You were right, Glory. This is the worse battle I have ever fought,” he whispered coarsely. “I have been fighting an enemy that does not exist as I think I know it. I have lived with his threat of rejection all my life. Always trying to prove my worthiness of his love and acceptance to him. Nothing was ever good enough. Nothing was ever enough. He always held what I desired the most just out of my reach, yet I kept trying. No, the enemy I seek is something buried in my past yet it haunts me every day.” He shook his head slowly from side to side as he wrung the damp towel between his hands.

“It won’t haunt you much longer, Anomen. In recognizing it, you are dispelling the power it holds over you even as we speak,” I said. “Now that you know the enemy, the enemy will have no power over you other than what you allow.” He nodded in recognition.

“Oh, by the Gods, what have I done,” His attention turned to the long piece of wood splintered at his feet. “Oh, Glory, I’ve broken your desk and ruined your papers and your dress.” He was very distraught and embarrassed. “How will you ever forgive me?”

“Anomen,” I smiled at him. “This desk, these papers, this dress – they are all just things. Things that can be replaced. They are unimportant and there is nothing to forgive. What is important is you and how you feel now.”

“I…I feel great hatred for Lord Cor and what he did to me. Not..not just how he physically hurt me when I was a child, but I now see he always used me whenever he could and played God with me. He saw a way to finally break me, and achieve his own selfish purposes in one felt swoop. He took it. And then he disowned me.

“He must have been overjoyed that such a fortunate set of circumstances fell into his lap that he could fashion them into a masterful ‘Lord Cor’ plan from the very beginning. He was finally able to exact vengeance for my dear Mother’s betrayal of him with my Father.” His voice was steeped in hateful bitterness then he paused and looked at me. “It was never really me, was it, Glory. I was just a pawn in his well laid plans.”

“I don’t honestly know, Anomen. But, I would tend to agree that no, it was never you, per se. Your assessment of his motives would certainly explain a great number of things about him. In hurting you, and even attempting to destroy you, he very easily could have been fulfilling a twisted vendetta against your Mother and Sir Ryan. But whatever his reasons or motives, the fact remains he used you to his own ends. And in understanding that, Anomen, you may be better able to accept your own actions, and forgive yourself and go forward with your life. That is what is important here. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Glory, I understand now what you have been trying to tell me,” he nodded. “Helm has granted me a real second chance at a truly happy life with a woman I love and a Father who loves me and whom I love. I must find a way to forgive myself and go on to this happiness.”

“Perhaps Helm is granting you your first chance, Anomen,” I replied, half smiling. “And, if He thinks you worthy of such personal intervention, then perhaps you should trust in his divine wisdom.” I would let him think about that for a while.

“Now, do you feel like talking more about your Father? Your real Father?” I asked. I was still anxious to hear how it was between them, even though it was only a matter of a few days. The mention of his ‘real Father’ brought a smile to his lips and he nodded.

“I only wish I had known sooner,” he explained. “I feel some regret that I have missed out on so much already that we cannot make up for.”

“And, he feels the same?” I asked.

“Probably more so, Glory. I sense a certain sadness in him and I know I can’t make it go away for him.”

“You won’t be able to make that go away, Anomen. A part of it is that he misses what could have been with your Mother and the life they, and you, could have had. That is something over which you have no control. The fact that you accept him for who he is, and what he meant to her, will mean much more to him as time goes on and your relationship develops and you grow closer. But you can help him deal with this, Anomen, as he, in part, feels guilty for how you suffered as you were growing up.”

He nodded. “I really love him, Glory. He is my Father and I really love him and I will treasure him for the rest of my days.”

“Then you must tell him, Anomen. Never be shy and never be reticent.” He nodded again.

We talked on at some length and it was soon time for noon meal. Anomen rose to say goodbye.

“Glory, I hope you will allow me to replace your desk and, by the Gods, I have managed to ruin your chair as well,” he said directing my attention to the soaked bloodstains on the arm and the cushion of the seat. He cursed under his breath.

“Anomen, do not worry about it,” I said. “I have been wanting new furniture for some time – now I have an excuse to get it.”

“I..I.. think I should also tell you, I am going to ask Riona to marry me. I mean, REALLY marry me. In a Church and all and soon.” He looked a little sheepish and I noted a slight blush.

“Anomen! That’s wonderful! Congratulations!” I was happily surprised.

“I..I thought I would ask her tonight. So please act surprised if she comes by tomorrow to see you to deliver the good news.” His grin spread from ear to ear.

“Anomen, I will treat this information as being patient privileged. Have you told anyone else?”

“I told Sir—my Father. He..he is the one who encouraged me to do it. To actually ask her for her hand, I mean, and make it official. He said I had already wasted far too much time. He said he didn’t want Tabor getting too much of a jump on him being a grandfather and all.”

“That is so wonderful, Anomen. I am so very, very happy for you,” I said and we walked to the outer office together.

“Charona, when is our next appointment set up for Anomen?” I asked.

“We have you, Anomen, and Sir Ryan jointly two ten-days from now, mid-morn,” Charona smiled.

“Wonderful,” I said. It would be after our honeymoon. “Oh, Anomen, we will be having the formal rehearsal dinner the eve prior to the union ritual.”

“Yes, Glory, Riona has already told me. And, just so you will know, we are going to be giving Hendak a small party tomorrow eve. You know….the ‘men only’ traditional thing,” he snickered. Charona giggled and slightly blushed. All women had heard what goes on at these parties but I really didn’t want any details. The idea of joy dancers providing mass entertainment for a group of drunken fools didn’t appeal to me in the least. We said our goodbyes.

“Oh, Mistress, your dress is ruined!” Charona lamented after we closed the door. “And you have dried flecks of blood on your face. Are..are you alright? I was really frightened at first when I heard Master Delryn shouting.”

“Not to worry, Charona. He bloodied his hand when he hit the desk….and broke it.” I really had thought of new tapon furniture only a few days earlier. “I’ll just wash this off and wear my cloak closed when I go home this afternoon. It will be fine.”

“I was just frightened, Mistress. I was afraid he might harm you and the babies,” she confessed. “He was raving like a madman.”

“No, Charona. I don’t think we will ever see that side of Master Delryn again. That side of him is on its way to a well-deserved demise.” And I smiled to myself.

TO BE CONTINUED………




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com