There's just something very wrong about using Kazaa to rip a film about Jesus...all credit to you!
[quote]"What was she playing?" Joneleth said as the four of them sat at the table in the teacher's lounge. "Come on, spit it out already!"[/quote]
*Imagines Irenicus in a tweed jacket with leather elbow-patches, smoking a pipe*
[quote]"GTB 3?" Joneleth smiled. "The schoolyard bully-simulator? Oh, that one is lovely! Especially the mission when you steal the toddler's lollipop and zoom off on a stolen bike!"[/quote]
Excellent. Where can I get a copy?
[quote]"Ah, Viconia," Edwin said. "You've been giving the girl too much freedoms. Might I suggest shipping her off to a boarding school in Switzerland for a couple of years. (Of course, Viconia'll get very lonely, but I know how to cure that ail.)"[/quote]
Heh
. It's my firm belief that Edwin spent YEARS learning how to pronounce parentheses. Shouldn't this be "too many freedoms" or "too much freedom" though? [quote]"Nobody's talking to you, Eddie," Valen said. "What are you even doing here?"[/quote]
Leching after Viconia, I imagine, what else?
[quote]"Oh, you're overreacting," Joneleth spoke. "It's a just a game. She'll forget about everything the moment she turns off the computer. We all wanna be on the different side of the fence sometimes. Give Vierna some credit. Don't let the media hysteria get to you. Just look at Bloodaxe's latest flick."[/quote]
Ah, Jon Irenicus, the voice of reason.
[quote]"Korgan Bloodaxe's The Passion of the Flynt is a masterpiece!" Valen protested. "I won't have you diss it!"[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAH. hah. um.
possibly an overreaction there.
[quote] "This film is just as controversial as Sorcese's The Last Temptation of Lolth."[/quote]
I assume that's an intentional spelling. Amused me, anyway.
I wonder what the last temptation of Lolth would be anyway - possibly to eat the last chocolate-coated rivvin?
[quote]
"And Drizzt Do'Urden SuperStar really sucked," Edwin grimaced. "(And because of this movie, I quite certain why the dancing prancing, singing Drizzt isn't married yet.)"
[/quote]
I think Edwin and Kandron Devore agree here. They would get on rather well.
[quote]
"You just don't realize how Larry Flynt has suffered for us all. Suffered long days in court just make sure ALL our right to free speech and ideas wasn't trampled on! He gave us freedom..." Valen narrowed her eyes.
[/quote]
*sniggers*
[quote]
"Yes, Free speech and pornography and/or nudity in every garage," [/quote]
Exactly. Good for him.
[quote]
"No, sign 'to Ebay' if you like," Edwin near-drooled.
Valen suddenly grew cold, narrowed her eyes and tossed the pen. "Bugger off."
[/quote]
heheheheh. Edwin to the core.
[quote]
"All insanity aside," Viconia muttered. "I really must keep an eye on what Vierna is doing. If she plays too much of those games, she might end up looking for gold coins all over the house... or expect to find arrows in our rain barrel."[/quote]
Sounds a bit like BGII, actually...
[quote]
"Hey, don't knock it," Valen said. "Last week I found a silver dollar in a skull at the back of my crypt."
"Bodhi always stuffs her arrows in the microwave," Joneleth replied.
[/quote]
Is this the same Bodhi who keeps the special Mace of Disruption in her own crypt, just in case anyone comes to try and slay her?
[quote]
But once in her room, she was frightened by a second shock. "MOOMMMMAAAAA! HALF MY ROOM IS GONE!!!"
Viconia stepped from the kitchen, dead-calm as her now nearly hyperventilating child ran down the stairs.
"MOMMAMOMMAMOMMAMOMMAMOMMAALLMYGAMESAREGONEALLMYCOMICSAREGONEALLMYPOSTERAREGONEHALFMYTOYSAREGONE!"
"Calm down, Vierna," Viconia smiled. "I took them."
[/quote]
Shades of Invasion of the Body Snatchers here; I can just imagine that scary smile... *shivers*
[quote]"Come, come, sarcasm doesn't befit a child your age," Viconia admonished. "I was just thinking how much I've been surrounding you with inappropriate content, all this violence, all this..."
"Sex?" Vierna blinked.
"What about sex?" Viconia asked.
"Well, mom," Vierna said. "Sit down for a moment. You see, when a boy and a girl really like each other..."
[/quote]
heh. But banning sarcasm? That's just barbaric!
[quote]
"Errm, no," Vierna blinked. "Mom, you told me yourself when I was four."
[/quote]
*snigger*
"What's up with Tigger?" Vierna asked.
[quote]
"I just thought I couldn't feed her raw meat anymore, since it would be to violent for you to watch a tiger tear apart meat," Viconia said.
"What's she gonna eat?! She'll starve!"
"Nonsense, she'll get fed."
"With what?"
"Healthy and non-violent tofu."
An angry growl, followed by wretching sounds resounded through the kitchen.
[/quote]
Well, it would be a little silly to attempt to feed a tiger tofu. I mean, I tried it once, and got the urge to destroy fixtures and fittings in discriminately as well.
[quote]
"Just look here! On her catsuit. There's a faint trace of a nipple here. Just visible through her clothes."
"What's a nipple?" Vierna asked.
"Something indecent that should be prosecuted, legislated and banned from ever being seen outside of the bedroom and pornography," Viconia said. "Pat Buchanan was right, this country is going to hell."
[quote]
!!
Heh. THe scary thing about this is that you can read this sort of thing in the Daily Mail without a trace of irony.
[quote]
"Pat Bu-whatsisname? Last week you said you wouldn't mind if he'd got eaten by a pack of rabid werewolves!!"
[/quote]
I'll just pause for a while to relish that image...
Ok, done now... but that was seriously enjoyable.
[quote]"Okay," Vierna giggled. "Oh, some of my friends wanna see The Passion of the Flynt tomorrow. Can we go?"
"No," Viconia said.
"Too violent?"
"Too moronic."
[/quote]
Excellent, pointed satire. Loved the skewed pop-culture references as well, although a couple of bits were a little twee. All in all though, a brilliant ASW -can't wait for the next...
~Withiel.
