Hmm... it seems to be all or nothing when I'm writing. Talek and Greywolf meet. You may also note thatI use a certain spell slightly different then most people here. (I use my brother's 3rd edition player's handbook for decriptions) The way the spell works here seems a lot more... disturbing then the usual way of using it.
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?
Edit: I decided to give Talek a few more lines, so he may look SLIGHTLY less evil...maybe.
It was a few hours later and the moon sickle was already clearly visible in the sky. Viconia gave the object in the sky a glare and continued her walk. Despite the moon and the stars she clearly was more at ease in the nightly surroundings. The others were less comfortable, though all of them walked pretty sure footed. Montaron being a thief, Xzar having studied his craft in dark places and Talek being used to guard at night.
“Man. It’s bloody late. If we don’t find this Prism guy soon we won’t be getting up before noon tomorrow.” Talek commented.
“Eh… Doesn’t have to be a problem.” Montaron commented. “The time between sundown and midnight can be pretty interesting if ye know what to look for. First hours after dawn are for roosters and farmers I say. Don’t suppose the drow’ll have a problem with that?”
“If it were up to me, I’d avoid your accursed sun entirely. It burns my eyes and skin.” The drow scowled. “But I would appreciate any time spent at night.”
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
“Quiet…” Viconia said. “Someone is there.” She pointed at a point in the darkness.
“Where?” Talek tried to see something.
“Don’t hurt yer eyes boy. Infravision. The drow grew up in places darker then a clear night. The rest of ye stay here. I’m checkin’ it out.” Montaron whispered and quietly disappeared in the shadows. Viconia narrowed her eyes for a while before frowning and settling to wait with Xzar and Talek. After a while the halfling appeared behind them. Talek and Viconia jumped slightly at his unexpected arrival.
“We’ve got our mark. Some fool artsy type setting the stones in a statue. I could see the little babies winking at me. He didn’t notice me, but I’ve got the feeling he wouldn’t notice me till I cut his tendons.” Montaron grinned.
“Oghma’s balls. Do you HAVE to sneak up on us like that?” Talek said. “How the hell do you do that anyway? I WAS looking out for you.”
Viconia gave the halfling a stare as well. “You seem to be used to walk among darkness, thief.”
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
“Hm…. A follower of the Usurper of Shadows are you?” Viconia said.
Montaron rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s leave politics out of this and get down to business.” He took off, followed by the others.
Moments later they reached the artist. He wasn’t making any effort of hiding. As they came closer they heard his tools chipping away at the stone. The party calmly walked towards him. The man looked tired and famished. His eyes were focused feverishly on the statue he was working on. It was a statue of a regal looking elven woman. As Viconia saw it her eyes narrowed.
“A darthir. The pathetic rivvil is mooning over a surface elf! Typical!” She almost spat.
Montaron grinned. “Took some old hatreds with ye from the Underdark for souvenirs?”
“I may be exile, but I am still drow, halfling.” She glared at the statue as if she wanted to smash it. “The surface-elves made THAT sufficiently clear.”
“Heh, so hanging with you will get them angry at me too eh?” Talek grinned. “Saves me the trouble, I guess.”
“The surface and the drow elves both. If servants of Lolth spot me, they will hunt me more merciless then any surface elf.” She gave Talek a challenging stare. “Doesn’t that frighten you?”
Talek chuckled. “I’ve stopped worrying about what my OWN kind thinks of me. I ain’t even gonna start worrying what pointy ears of various colours think of me.” He gave her a questioning stare as they were almost upon the sculptor. “Why DID you take off anyway?”
“That is too personal a question.” Viconia said harshly.
Talek frowned for a moment. “Fine, fine. I was just curious. Sorry I asked.” His face lightened up. “Anyway, let’s settle this.”
Talek passed Montaron and drew his sword. “Hey, your name’s Prism right?”
The man turned around. He spoke hastily, as if he could hardly spare the time to address the armed man. “Yes, that’s me. You’ve heard of me?” Suddenly he saw the sword. “Ah… y… you are here for the jewels.”
“That… and the bounty.” Talek grinned as he tapped the sword on the palm of his gauntlet.
Montaron gave an annoyed sigh. “Do we HAVE to announce what we’re planning to do? Personally I’d have preferred to just put a bolt in his head without the yapping.”
“Ah, don’t be a grump Monty.” Xzar cooed.
“Please… I beg you. My work is not done yet. Give me… a few minutes… I have to finish it… for ‘her’.” Prism pleaded.
Talek shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I’m not the patient sort. We’ve been looking for hours and I’m a bit tired of these hills. Draw steel and let’s get busy.” He got in a combat stance.
There were a few moments as Talek waited and looked at the artist.
“You don’t have a weapon?” He lowered his sword. The boy sounded crestfallen.
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
“Oh you’ve GOTTA be kidding me!” The halfling exclaimed. “What? Ye want me to be a witness as well? Need a glove to slap him in the face or something?”
“Just give him a bloody sword!” Talek yelled back.
“I can’t waste my time fighting.” Prism turned around and got back to work on the statue, chiselling away at the finely tuned nose. “I have to finish this. I must. Just a few more minutes.”
Talek looked frustrated as the artist ignored him. “What…? Turn around and FIGHT damn it!” He sliced the air with his sword to emphasize, but didn’t get a reaction.
“He ain’t playing, boy.” Montaron drew his sword. “I’ll do the deed. Don’t worry, ye’ve done yer share of the killing.” Montaron stepped forward, but Talek’s left hand stopped him.
The swordsman stared at the back of his mark. He looked serious. “No… I’ll do it.”
“Ye sure? I’ve done this kinda thing before. Doesn’t bother me.” Montaron offered.
“My father always said you shouldn’t hide from things.” Talek said as he raised his sword. “And besides… I… want to find out.” He licked his lips. “Hey Montaron, if I’d… kill him now, that’d be murder, right?”
Montaron smirked. “According to Amnish law, the guy’s an outlaw, but I doubt ye’re talking legalities. Yeah, I guess his is as close to cold-blooded murder as a hot-head like you can get.”
Talek nodded slowly. “Yeah… he isn’t attacking me or just attacked me. He’s not threatening anybody, and I don’t think he is. He didn’t even insult me. I’ve got nothing against him. So if I kill him…” The sword was brought to the side, readied to strike.
Xzar giggled. Viconia glared at the statue. “Kill the pathetic rivvil.” Montaron just casually waited. Talek placed both hands on his sword. Despite the nightly cold, he was sweating.
"It's just like the dreams." He spoke, seemingly to himself. His voice shook "I've been wanting to do this for so long... Yeah... I WANT it. But... I'm... I'm scared. I've got the feeling something bad will happen. That I want it too much." He clenched his teeth as the sword continued to shake in his grasp. "I've been scared for this... and I wanted this as long as I can remember. And I'm... tired of being afraid."
“Have to finish. Just a bit more time.” Prism softly hammered on the chisel, cutting away small sparks of stone from the elven nose.
There was a wet sound. The chisel moved a bit, the hammer came down wrong and the delicate nose broke off and fell to the ground. Prism looked in horror and pain. Talek’s sword had dug deep between his ribs.
The miserable figure sagged forward, holding himself up by the statue’s shoulders.
“Ellesime… for… forgive me…” With those words the man coughed blood, splattering the marred face with some droplets, and fell to the ground.
“It’s…. done.” Talek’s voice was unusually quiet. He looked down at the body, then brought his left hand to his forehead to hide his face. His shoulders started to shake.
Viconia sneered. Xzar looked worried. Montaron sheeted his sword. “Oh COME ON!” He exclaimed “It’s not that different from… huh?”
Talek slowly raised his voice and face, revealing that he wasn’t crying, but laughing. Not an insane or cruel laughter, but the laugh of someone who finally gets the joke people had been playing on him for a long while. After a few seconds he gave the corpse a tentative kick, as if to check it was well and truly dead.
“That’s IT? That’s all there is? This is murder? I cut, he falls?” More laughter sounded as he raised his sword and looked at his mirror image on the blade, blood covering part of his face on it. “This is what I was afraid of all my life? This is what I was hiding from?”
Montaron broke through the surprised silence. “What did ye expect? Thorm taking a few minutes to personally kick yer ass? Bhaal himself raising from the grave to give ye a thumbs up? It’s just a kill, nothing more.”
“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
Xzar seemed hardly able to breath because of the giggling. Viconia looked slightly disturbed. Montaron raised an eyebrow. “Yeah well, make sure ye don’t have TOO much fun. I don’t fancy ending up on a rope.”
Talek nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Sure. Let’s go then.” He turned away from the corpse.
“Aren’t ye forgetting something?” Montaron said. He pointed at the emeralds that were set in the statue’s face. “We didn’t come all the way here for ye to add a notch to yer hilt. And get the guy’s head too. The wizard will keep it on him. We’ll need it as proof of the deed.”
Talek slapped his forehead. “Whoops. Totally forgot all about that.” He turned around and slammed the pummel of his sword in the statue’s face a few times, until the jewels fell out. As Montaron gathered them, he calmly grabbed the corpse by the hair and with two swift strikes, separated the head from the body.
“Guess I should be thankful ye’ve done the dirty work for me. Tell you what, you give the jewels and the head to me without fuss, and I’ll let you go without kicking your asses.” The voice came from somewhere above them. A middle aged man with steel armour and a helmet was mockingly looking down at them from a rocky outcrop, the crescent moon looming ominously behind him.
“Our kill, our loot.” Montaron said darkly, while quickly grabbing his crossbow.
“Do you really want to do tense that string, shorty? Keep this up and I’ll be gathering loot from YOUR corpse.” The man kept his shield up and stared down threateningly at the halfling.
“Hey, we were first.” Talek said. “And I’d watch out with those words.” He grinned. “I don’t make allowances for an old man.”
“I’ve been gathering heads since before you were wetting diapers instead of breeches, boy!” The man spoke in contempt.
“Hm… A rivvil past his prime. In the Underdark you’d have long since been made a docile servant to breed instead of slowing down the younger fighters.” Viconia remarked.
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
Viconia cursed harshly in drow. Talek snarled. “Why you… Wait… Are you Greywolf?”
The man barked some laughter. “That’s me. Ready to give up the loot then?”
“The same one that threatened Imoen back in Naskhel this morning?” Talek continued darkly.
“That little brat? I’d have loved to do more then threatening her. Little girls should stay with their mommies, or bad things happen to them.” There was a whistling sound. Greywolf reflexively raised his shield and a bolt was stuck in it.
“Enough with the yapping. Let’s kill the bastard already.” Montaron dropped his crossbow and reached for his shortsword. “But be careful. Ye don’t get old in this biz without some...”
The man jumped down and almost landed on Montaron. The halfling only narrowly escaped getting his skull split.
“….skills.”
Talek gave a battle cry and charged the man, followed by Viconia who grabbed her shield. Talek quickly got the greatest deal of attention, fervently trying to get past the older man’s defences and armour and failing. The man expertly blocked both his and Viconia’s attacks and launched some counterattacks the two could only narrowly avoid, all the while keeping an eye on Montaron, who was looking for a chance to backstab the fighter. The man’s sword seemed to move faster than even a young man would be able to manage.
“Don’t worry! I’ll SAVE you.” Xzar yelled, and started chanting.
“Don’t think so, mage.” Greywolf slammed his shield hard into Viconia’s chest, dodged a strike from Talek, made two steps and sliced at the necromancer. Xzar let himself fall backwards. It saved his life as the sword merely drew a red, vertical line across his face, almost hitting his eye. The wound looked strangely blue around the cut, and it hardly bled. Xzar whined and grabbed his face as he fell to the ground.
Both Talek and Montaron saw their chance and tried to attack the enemy in the back, as Viconia still recovered from the bash. The experienced bounty hunter had clearly expected that though, as Talek’s sword met the man’s shield and the man’s sword sliced through his armour with a horrible sound, and Talek received an icy slice in his side. Talek groaned as the skin ripped and the flesh froze, and his face contoured in pain as he stepped on the ground. Montaron's eyes widened in surprise as the man's steel plated boot connected with his nose. With the wet crunch of a nose being broken, he was thrown back and down, groaning and holding his face.
Talek quickly pulled back, covered by Viconia, and now fought defensively, his face pale as he struggled against the pain of the biting wound in his side. His wound slowed him down, and if it wasn’t for Viconia’s bashes against the man’s armour and shield, he would have been skewered. Because of her limited strength, she could hardly cause any damage though. Talek reached for a healing potion with his left hand. Keeping his eyes on the enemy and parrying blows, he broke the wax seal with his thumb. Greywolf was now aiming for the vial however, and Talek couldn’t bring it to his mouth. Blood was starting to drip on the ground and Talek’s speed was dropping further.
A lucky hit from Viconia on the man’s neck made Greywolf groan though. Keeping his sword in a deadlock with Talek, he turned around and slammed the shield in the drow’s face twice in quick succession. Talek didn’t hesitate and gulped down the life-saving blue liquid. As he felt the wound healing, he pressed the attack again, allowing Viconia some time to regain her bearings. The drow was still slowed down because of the attack though, Montaron was still getting up slowly and Talek’s quick strikes accomplished nothing.
“Ahw… and I had hoped… to write his one in my book.” Xzar’s silky voice sounded pained. Forgotten by the others, he had taken out a parchment and started chanting.
“You should learn when to keep playing dead, mage!” Greywolf darted away from his opponents with surprising speed, rushing at Xzar, clearly intent on killing him now. Xzar didn’t stop chanting.
“Oh no you DON’T, shitstain!” Talek snarled and grabbed the man’s sword hand with his empty one. He left himself open, and received the corner from the shield in his forehead. Still he didn’t release the arm though, until Greywolf violently pulled it out of his grasp. Talek’s sword uselessly struck a glancing blow on the man’s armour.
“If you want to die first, have it YOUR way.” Greywolf raised his sword. Then Xzar’s chanting stopped.
“GREYWOLF, DON’T!” Xzar’s voice sounded. Greywolf froze.
“I think this was all just a biiiiig misunderstanding.” Xzar cooed. “We’re all friends, right? Why don’t you let Talek go? You don’t want to hurt him. And Talek doesn’t want to hurt you” Xzar made desperate signs to Talek to stay calm, and thanks to a quick action from Viconia and a warning from a groggy Montaron, Talek contented himself with staring in confusion at the exchange.
Greywolf’s eyes were slightly unfocused. “I guess not.” He lowered his sword. “So... what do we do now?”
“That’s a pretty sword you have.” The necromancer drawled. “Talek there is also a big fan of swords. Could he hold it for a while?”
The bounty hunter shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” He handed his sword to the flabbergasted Talek, who dropped his own in favour of the enchanted blade.
Xzar grinned. “Right. Now you can show him what you wanted to show him Talek. Quickly, this spell doesn’t last long.”
Just then, Greywolf blinked and shook his head. Talek quickly raised the man’s own sword to his throat.
“Say goodnight, Greywolf.” Xzar giggled.
The man scowled at Talek. “What are you waiting for? Ain’t got the guts?”
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.”
About Blood 30
Started by
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
, Dec 21 2003 02:29 AM
19 replies to this topic
#2
Guest_Theodur_*
Guest_Theodur_*
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- Guests
Posted 21 December 2003 - 09:34 AM
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?[/i]
Hmm, I'll think about that, but I have been known to have major problems with ending the chapters logically.
However, as it stands currently, you end the chapter by cutting Talek off in mid sentence which probably isn't a good idea.
It was a few hours later and the moon sickle was already clearly visible in the sky. Viconia gave the object in the sky a glare and continued her walk. Despite the moon and the stars she clearly was more at ease in the nightly surroundings. The others were less comfortable, though all of them walked pretty sure footed. Montaron being a thief, Xzar having studied his craft in dark places and Talek being used to guard at night.
Moon is a symbol of Selune who is the sworn and most bitter enemy of Shar... nice touch
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
Awww, the poor, poor Talek won't get nice tan... just cut the chatter, guys. Greywolf is probably laughing as you speak.
“We’ve got our mark. Some fool artsy type setting the stones in a statue. I could see the little babies winking at me. He didn’t notice me, but I’ve got the feeling he wouldn’t notice me till I cut his tendons.” Montaron grinned.
Quite right. People sometimes sneak up and scare me while I'm too absorbed in writing. I hate that.
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
“Hm…. A follower of the Usurper of Shadows are you?” Viconia said.
Heh, I hear that Shar would dearly love to get that protfolio of shadows back from Mask. Too bad, Mask seems to be the only evil deity who isn't a fanatical psychopath, bent on destroying everything around.
“A darthir. The pathetic rivvil is mooning over a surface elf! Typical!” She almost spat.
Bah, Ellesime. For a famous artist that Prism was rumored to be, he sure had a very poor taste himself.
“I may be exile, but I am still drow, halfling.” She glared at the statue as if she wanted to smash it. “The surface-elves made THAT sufficiently clear.”
“Heh, so hanging with you will get them angry at me too eh?” Talek grinned. “Saves me the trouble, I guess.”
Don't be such a cretin, Talek.
Talek shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I’m not the patient sort. We’ve been looking for hours and I’m a bit tired of these hills. Draw steel and let’s get busy.” He got in a combat stance.
There were a few moments as Talek waited and looked at the artist.
“You don’t have a weapon?” He lowered his sword. The boy sounded crestfallen.
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
Nice going. This will be such a even-sided battle. Next time, maybe give some five-year old a sword and challenge him.
“My father always said you shouldn’t hide from things.” Talek said as he raised his sword. “And besides… I… want to find out.” He licked his lips. “Hey Montaron, if I’d… kill him now, that’d be murder, right?”
Which one of your father's said that?
Talek slapped his forehead. “Whoops. Totally forgot all about that.” He turned around and slammed the pummel of his sword in the statue’s face a few times, until the jewels fell out. As Montaron gathered them, he calmly grabbed the corpse by the hair and with two swift strikes, separated the head from the body.
The whole section about killing Prism was a bit too disturbing for my tastes... very well written and believable, of course.
“Guess I should be thankful ye’ve done the dirty work for me. Tell you what, you give the jewels and the head to me without fuss, and I’ll let you go without kicking your asses.” The voice came from somewhere above them. A middle aged man with steel armour and a helmet was mockingly looking down at them from a rocky outcrop, the crescent moon looming ominously behind him.
Ah, Greywolf. He probably was there the entire time.
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
Ugh... that was a bit too, um, dirty implication, I think...
“Don’t think so, mage.” Greywolf slammed his shield hard into Viconia’s chest, dodged a strike from Talek, made two steps and sliced at the necromancer. Xzar let himself fall backwards. It saved his life as the sword merely drew a red, vertical line across his face, almost hitting his eye. The wound looked strangely blue around the cut, and it hardly bled. Xzar whined and grabbed his face as he fell to the ground.
Well, Xzar shouldn't have been standing so close to the melee, then.
“Ahw… and I had hoped… to write his one in my book.” Xzar’s silky voice sounded pained. Forgotten by the others, he had taken out a parchment and started chanting.
'this one'
“GREYWOLF, DON’T!” Xzar’s voice sounded. Greywolf froze.
“I think this was all just a biiiiig misunderstanding.” Xzar cooed. “We’re all friends, right? Why don’t you let Talek go? You don’t want to hurt him. And Talek doesn’t want to hurt you” Xzar made desperate sins to Talek to stay calm, and thanks to a quick action from Viconia and a warning from a groggy Montaron, Talek contented himself with staring in confusion at the exchange.
Charm Person. Love that spell in BG1. I have written one written episode where a charm spell is used as well, and it's quite like your interpretation here.
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.” He looked at the enchanted blade and smiled. "Seems
...what?
Well, at least Greywolf died.
Well written chapter, but I must confess that I did not like it as much as the previous. It is most likely my dislike towards evil protagonists in general, and Talek slipped a lot further from the decent path here than ever before. I can't really see this now going the way I hoped it would...
#3
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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- Guests
Posted 21 December 2003 - 11:21 AM
[quote][quote]
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?[/i]
[/quote]
Hmm, I'll think about that, but I have been known to have major problems with ending the chapters logically.
However, as it stands currently, you end the chapter by cutting Talek off in mid sentence which probably isn't a good idea. [/quote]
Ah crap....
[quote] [quote]
It was a few hours later and the moon sickle was already clearly visible in the sky. Viconia gave the object in the sky a glare and continued her walk. Despite the moon and the stars she clearly was more at ease in the nightly surroundings. The others were less comfortable, though all of them walked pretty sure footed. Montaron being a thief, Xzar having studied his craft in dark places and Talek being used to guard at night.
[/quote]
Moon is a symbol of Selune who is the sworn and most bitter enemy of Shar... nice touch [/quote]
Yep... lurv all the backstabbing and hatred between the gods.
[quote] [quote]
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
[/quote]
Awww, the poor, poor Talek won't get nice tan... just cut the chatter, guys. Greywolf is probably laughing as you speak. [/quote]
Nah, he's cursing the fact that he DOESN'T have infravision now.
[quote] [quote]
“We’ve got our mark. Some fool artsy type setting the stones in a statue. I could see the little babies winking at me. He didn’t notice me, but I’ve got the feeling he wouldn’t notice me till I cut his tendons.” Montaron grinned.
[/quote]
Quite right. People sometimes sneak up and scare me while I'm too absorbed in writing. I hate that. [/quote]
Yep... Now imagine when they scare you using a sharp object eh?
[quote] [quote]
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
[/quote]
[quote]
“Hm…. A follower of the Usurper of Shadows are you?” Viconia said.
[/quote]
Heh, I hear that Shar would dearly love to get that protfolio of shadows back from Mask. Too bad, Mask seems to be the only evil deity who isn't a fanatical psychopath, bent on destroying everything around. [/quote]
Yep, Cyric managed to sneak away assassins from him though.
[quote] [quote]
“A darthir. The pathetic rivvil is mooning over a surface elf! Typical!” She almost spat.
[/quote]
Bah, Ellesime. For a famous artist that Prism was rumored to be, he sure had a very poor taste himself. [/quote]
No accounting for tastes I guess eh?
[quote] [uote]
“I may be exile, but I am still drow, halfling.” She glared at the statue as if she wanted to smash it. “The surface-elves made THAT sufficiently clear.”
[/quote]
[quote]
“Heh, so hanging with you will get them angry at me too eh?” Talek grinned. “Saves me the trouble, I guess.”
[/quote]
Don't be such a cretin, Talek. [/quote]
Talek is still enjoying the whole 'don't care about what people think' thing.
[quote] [quote]
Talek shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I’m not the patient sort. We’ve been looking for hours and I’m a bit tired of these hills. Draw steel and let’s get busy.” He got in a combat stance.
[/quote]
[quote]
There were a few moments as Talek waited and looked at the artist.
[/quote]
[quote]
“You don’t have a weapon?” He lowered his sword. The boy sounded crestfallen.
[/quote]
[quote]
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
[/quote]
Nice going. This will be such a even-sided battle. Next time, maybe give some five-year old a sword and challenge him. [/quote]
Yeah... But it would still be 'death in battle' Sure, it's not very reasonable, but neither is Talek.
[quote] [quote]
“My father always said you shouldn’t hide from things.” Talek said as he raised his sword. “And besides… I… want to find out.” He licked his lips. “Hey Montaron, if I’d… kill him now, that’d be murder, right?”
[/quote]
Which one of your father's said that? [/quote]
Oh it sonds like something Gorion would say. Just.... not applied in this manner.
[quote] [quote]
Talek slapped his forehead. “Whoops. Totally forgot all about that.” He turned around and slammed the pummel of his sword in the statue’s face a few times, until the jewels fell out. As Montaron gathered them, he calmly grabbed the corpse by the hair and with two swift strikes, separated the head from the body.
[/quote]
The whole section about killing Prism was a bit too disturbing for my tastes... very well written and believable, of course. [/quote]
Hmm... the kill itself or Talek's declaration of unrepentance?
Anyway, Talek is like his now. Just imagine how much FUN to be around he'll be once he loses his soul.
[quote] [quote]
“Guess I should be thankful ye’ve done the dirty work for me. Tell you what, you give the jewels and the head to me without fuss, and I’ll let you go without kicking your asses.” The voice came from somewhere above them. A middle aged man with steel armour and a helmet was mockingly looking down at them from a rocky outcrop, the crescent moon looming ominously behind him.
[/quote]
Ah, Greywolf. He probably was there the entire time. [/quote]
For a while yeah.
[quote] [quote]
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
[/quote]
Ugh... that was a bit too, um, dirty implication, I think... [/quote]
Over the line eh? Ah well, I really wanted to make this guy hated. Guess I can remove the line.
[quote] [quote]
“Don’t think so, mage.” Greywolf slammed his shield hard into Viconia’s chest, dodged a strike from Talek, made two steps and sliced at the necromancer. Xzar let himself fall backwards. It saved his life as the sword merely drew a red, vertical line across his face, almost hitting his eye. The wound looked strangely blue around the cut, and it hardly bled. Xzar whined and grabbed his face as he fell to the ground.
[/quote]
Well, Xzar shouldn't have been standing so close to the melee, then. [/quote]
Well, he IS mad.
[quote] [quote]
“Ahw… and I had hoped… to write his one in my book.” Xzar’s silky voice sounded pained. Forgotten by the others, he had taken out a parchment and started chanting.
[/quote]
'this one' [/quote]
Whoops...
[quote] [quote]
“GREYWOLF, DON’T!” Xzar’s voice sounded. Greywolf froze.
[/quote]
[quote]
“I think this was all just a biiiiig misunderstanding.” Xzar cooed. “We’re all friends, right? Why don’t you let Talek go? You don’t want to hurt him. And Talek doesn’t want to hurt you” Xzar made desperate sins to Talek to stay calm, and thanks to a quick action from Viconia and a warning from a groggy Montaron, Talek contented himself with staring in confusion at the exchange.
[/quote]
Charm Person. Love that spell in BG1. I have written one written episode where a charm spell is used as well, and it's quite like your interpretation here. [/quote]
Yep.... GREAT plot device.
[quote] [quote]
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.” He looked at the enchanted blade and smiled. "Seems[/quote]
...what? [/quote]
Scratch he seems. I decided to scrap that sentence but was sloppy it seems.
[quote]Well, at least Greywolf died.
Well written chapter, but I must confess that I did not like it as much as the previous. It is most likely my dislike towards evil protagonists in general, and Talek slipped a lot further from the decent path here than ever before. I can't really see this now going the way I hoped it would...[/quote]
Damn. I was afraid of that. Does the promise that 1: Talek has SOME moral standards that won't slip 2: The Karma Police has Talek's number and Talek WILL suffer before this story is over help a bit
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?[/i]
[/quote]
Hmm, I'll think about that, but I have been known to have major problems with ending the chapters logically.
However, as it stands currently, you end the chapter by cutting Talek off in mid sentence which probably isn't a good idea.
[/quote]Ah crap....
[quote] [quote]
It was a few hours later and the moon sickle was already clearly visible in the sky. Viconia gave the object in the sky a glare and continued her walk. Despite the moon and the stars she clearly was more at ease in the nightly surroundings. The others were less comfortable, though all of them walked pretty sure footed. Montaron being a thief, Xzar having studied his craft in dark places and Talek being used to guard at night.
[/quote]
Moon is a symbol of Selune who is the sworn and most bitter enemy of Shar... nice touch
[/quote]Yep... lurv all the backstabbing and hatred between the gods.
[quote] [quote]
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
[/quote]
Awww, the poor, poor Talek won't get nice tan... just cut the chatter, guys. Greywolf is probably laughing as you speak. [/quote]
Nah, he's cursing the fact that he DOESN'T have infravision now.
[quote] [quote]
“We’ve got our mark. Some fool artsy type setting the stones in a statue. I could see the little babies winking at me. He didn’t notice me, but I’ve got the feeling he wouldn’t notice me till I cut his tendons.” Montaron grinned.
[/quote]
Quite right. People sometimes sneak up and scare me while I'm too absorbed in writing. I hate that. [/quote]
Yep... Now imagine when they scare you using a sharp object eh?
[quote] [quote]
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
[/quote]
[quote]
“Hm…. A follower of the Usurper of Shadows are you?” Viconia said.
[/quote]
Heh, I hear that Shar would dearly love to get that protfolio of shadows back from Mask. Too bad, Mask seems to be the only evil deity who isn't a fanatical psychopath, bent on destroying everything around. [/quote]
Yep, Cyric managed to sneak away assassins from him though.
[quote] [quote]
“A darthir. The pathetic rivvil is mooning over a surface elf! Typical!” She almost spat.
[/quote]
Bah, Ellesime. For a famous artist that Prism was rumored to be, he sure had a very poor taste himself. [/quote]
No accounting for tastes I guess eh?
[quote] [uote]
“I may be exile, but I am still drow, halfling.” She glared at the statue as if she wanted to smash it. “The surface-elves made THAT sufficiently clear.”
[/quote]
[quote]
“Heh, so hanging with you will get them angry at me too eh?” Talek grinned. “Saves me the trouble, I guess.”
[/quote]
Don't be such a cretin, Talek. [/quote]
Talek is still enjoying the whole 'don't care about what people think' thing.
[quote] [quote]
Talek shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I’m not the patient sort. We’ve been looking for hours and I’m a bit tired of these hills. Draw steel and let’s get busy.” He got in a combat stance.
[/quote]
[quote]
There were a few moments as Talek waited and looked at the artist.
[/quote]
[quote]
“You don’t have a weapon?” He lowered his sword. The boy sounded crestfallen.
[/quote]
[quote]
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
[/quote]
Nice going. This will be such a even-sided battle. Next time, maybe give some five-year old a sword and challenge him. [/quote]
Yeah... But it would still be 'death in battle' Sure, it's not very reasonable, but neither is Talek.
[quote] [quote]
“My father always said you shouldn’t hide from things.” Talek said as he raised his sword. “And besides… I… want to find out.” He licked his lips. “Hey Montaron, if I’d… kill him now, that’d be murder, right?”
[/quote]
Which one of your father's said that? [/quote]
Oh it sonds like something Gorion would say. Just.... not applied in this manner.
[quote] [quote]
Talek slapped his forehead. “Whoops. Totally forgot all about that.” He turned around and slammed the pummel of his sword in the statue’s face a few times, until the jewels fell out. As Montaron gathered them, he calmly grabbed the corpse by the hair and with two swift strikes, separated the head from the body.
[/quote]
The whole section about killing Prism was a bit too disturbing for my tastes... very well written and believable, of course. [/quote]
Hmm... the kill itself or Talek's declaration of unrepentance?
Anyway, Talek is like his now. Just imagine how much FUN to be around he'll be once he loses his soul.
[quote] [quote]
“Guess I should be thankful ye’ve done the dirty work for me. Tell you what, you give the jewels and the head to me without fuss, and I’ll let you go without kicking your asses.” The voice came from somewhere above them. A middle aged man with steel armour and a helmet was mockingly looking down at them from a rocky outcrop, the crescent moon looming ominously behind him.
[/quote]
Ah, Greywolf. He probably was there the entire time. [/quote]
For a while yeah.
[quote] [quote]
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
[/quote]
Ugh... that was a bit too, um, dirty implication, I think... [/quote]
Over the line eh? Ah well, I really wanted to make this guy hated. Guess I can remove the line.
[quote] [quote]
“Don’t think so, mage.” Greywolf slammed his shield hard into Viconia’s chest, dodged a strike from Talek, made two steps and sliced at the necromancer. Xzar let himself fall backwards. It saved his life as the sword merely drew a red, vertical line across his face, almost hitting his eye. The wound looked strangely blue around the cut, and it hardly bled. Xzar whined and grabbed his face as he fell to the ground.
[/quote]
Well, Xzar shouldn't have been standing so close to the melee, then. [/quote]
Well, he IS mad.
[quote] [quote]
“Ahw… and I had hoped… to write his one in my book.” Xzar’s silky voice sounded pained. Forgotten by the others, he had taken out a parchment and started chanting.
[/quote]
'this one' [/quote]
Whoops...
[quote] [quote]
“GREYWOLF, DON’T!” Xzar’s voice sounded. Greywolf froze.
[/quote]
[quote]
“I think this was all just a biiiiig misunderstanding.” Xzar cooed. “We’re all friends, right? Why don’t you let Talek go? You don’t want to hurt him. And Talek doesn’t want to hurt you” Xzar made desperate sins to Talek to stay calm, and thanks to a quick action from Viconia and a warning from a groggy Montaron, Talek contented himself with staring in confusion at the exchange.
[/quote]
Charm Person. Love that spell in BG1. I have written one written episode where a charm spell is used as well, and it's quite like your interpretation here. [/quote]
Yep.... GREAT plot device.
[quote] [quote]
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.” He looked at the enchanted blade and smiled. "Seems[/quote]
...what? [/quote]
Scratch he seems. I decided to scrap that sentence but was sloppy it seems.
[quote]Well, at least Greywolf died.
Well written chapter, but I must confess that I did not like it as much as the previous. It is most likely my dislike towards evil protagonists in general, and Talek slipped a lot further from the decent path here than ever before. I can't really see this now going the way I hoped it would...
[/quote]Damn. I was afraid of that. Does the promise that 1: Talek has SOME moral standards that won't slip 2: The Karma Police has Talek's number and Talek WILL suffer before this story is over help a bit
#6
Guest_Theodur_*
Guest_Theodur_*
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Posted 21 December 2003 - 12:18 PM
Talek slapped his forehead. “Whoops. Totally forgot all about that.” He turned around and slammed the pummel of his sword in the statue’s face a few times, until the jewels fell out. As Montaron gathered them, he calmly grabbed the corpse by the hair and with two swift strikes, separated the head from the body.The whole section about killing Prism was a bit too disturbing for my tastes... very well written and believable, of course.
Hmm... the kill itself or Talek's declaration of unrepentance?
The description of how easy he finds to kill someone without feeling guilty, mainly. You know, I used to think that I find Monty's practical approach to killing as very unsettling, but Talek here beats him by a long shot. Montaron does not seem to enjoy the process, he just accepts it as a part of the job, but Talek seems to really revel in the killing itself. Needless to say, it disturbs me somewhat.
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”Ugh... that was a bit too, um, dirty implication, I think...
Over the line eh? Ah well, I really wanted to make this guy hated. Guess I can remove the line.
Heh, it's just my opinion... our opinion on where the line is, might differ. It's not like I write a terribly sanctimonious stuff, myself.
Well written chapter, but I must confess that I did not like it as much as the previous. It is most likely my dislike towards evil protagonists in general, and Talek slipped a lot further from the decent path here than ever before. I can't really see this now going the way I hoped it would...
Damn. I was afraid of that. Does the promise that 1: Talek has SOME moral standards that won't slip 2: The Karma Police has Talek's number and Talek WILL suffer before this story is over help a bit
It might. I'll tell you what my fear is - that the story would take a turn into gloryfing evil and how much it is easier to do evil things and get away with it, than try to do good... and that the good guys take all the unfortunate decisions and get whacked eventually. It might be your intent to show it that way, and that is perfectly fine and alright - but I would personally enjoy to see that doing something good also pays off and that doing evil things has some consequences. [/rant]
Heh. I'll stop now. I hope it does not seem like I'm trying to tell you how you should be writing the story... I'm just slightly concerned about some twists the story has been taking, so I thought maybe it would be better to tell you about it openly.
#7
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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Posted 21 December 2003 - 12:38 PM
Talek slapped his forehead. “Whoops. Totally forgot all about that.” He turned around and slammed the pummel of his sword in the statue’s face a few times, until the jewels fell out. As Montaron gathered them, he calmly grabbed the corpse by the hair and with two swift strikes, separated the head from the body.The whole section about killing Prism was a bit too disturbing for my tastes... very well written and believable, of course.
Hmm... the kill itself or Talek's declaration of unrepentance?
The description of how easy he finds to kill someone without feeling guilty, mainly. You know, I used to think that I find Monty's practical approach to killing as very unsettling, but Talek here beats him by a long shot. Montaron does not seem to enjoy the process, he just accepts it as a part of the job, but Talek seems to really revel in the killing itself. Needless to say, it disturbs me somewhat.
Oh yeah. Talek is MEANT to be disturbing on occasions. Let's just say that the Taint has a far firmer hold on him than your average Bhaalspawn. Especially since he made the WRONG choice in the dream.
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”Ugh... that was a bit too, um, dirty implication, I think...
Over the line eh? Ah well, I really wanted to make this guy hated. Guess I can remove the line.
Heh, it's just my opinion... our opinion on where the line is, might differ. It's not like I write a terribly sanctimonious stuff, myself.
Yep... I tried to use 'neutral' words to describe it. But if the sentence bothers people enjoying the scene, it goed out.
Well written chapter, but I must confess that I did not like it as much as the previous. It is most likely my dislike towards evil protagonists in general, and Talek slipped a lot further from the decent path here than ever before. I can't really see this now going the way I hoped it would...Damn. I was afraid of that. Does the promise that 1: Talek has SOME moral standards that won't slip 2: The Karma Police has Talek's number and Talek WILL suffer before this story is over help a bit
It might. I'll tell you what my fear is - that the story would take a turn into gloryfing evil and how much it is easier to do evil things and get away with it, than try to do good... and that the good guys take all the unfortunate decisions and get whacked eventually. It might be your intent to show it that way, and that is perfectly fine and alright - but I would personally enjoy to see that doing something good also pays off and that doing evil things has some consequences. [/rant]
Hm... No. I won't be planning that. Only thing I MIGHT show is that evil does not need equal a lack of friendship. But Talek WILL suffer consequences for his deeds. Both external (he's wanted in Beregost already. These people won't just 'forget' his actions there) as internal (you think you can indulge the Taint like that and get away with it? Think again!) In a very real way, Talek is harming himself right now.
Considering all this, I may change the ending of ToB though. But it's a long way off yet.
Heh. I'll stop now. I hope it does not seem like I'm trying to tell you how you should be writing the story... I'm just slightly concerned about some twists the story has been taking, so I thought maybe it would be better to tell you about it openly.
Oh please do. I know I'm skating on thin ice when I write a character doing despicable acts. It's good to know when the ice starts to crack. But next chapter, Talek may perhaps redeem himself.... slightly.
When I wrote this I wanted to write an evil character form the beginning, and not pragmatical evil either. And at the same time I want people to feel for him, a bit. So when I go to far and it starts becoming unpleasant, raise the warning flags. Because I have a LOT of plans for Talek to do, and some of them are pretty risky.
#8
Guest_Helseth_*
Guest_Helseth_*
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Posted 21 December 2003 - 10:54 PM
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?
*After reading* Nah, it seems perfectly okay to me. Although I wouldn't call identifying of Varscona boring...
The others were less comfortable, though all of them walked pretty sure footed. Montaron being a thief, Xzar having studied his craft in dark places and Talek being used to guard at night.
Maybe it would be better to make it one phrase?
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
Ah. He isn't strictly a morning man, then.
Viconia gave the halfling a stare as well. “You seem to be used to walk among darkness, thief.”
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
“Hm…. A follower of the Usurper of Shadows are you?” Viconia said.
Montaron rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s leave politics out of this and get down to business.” He took off, followed by the others.
Nice exchange.“A darthir. The pathetic rivvil is mooning over a surface elf! Typical!” She almost spat.
Maybe "darthiir"?
“Heh, so hanging with you will get them angry at me too eh?” Talek grinned. “Saves me the trouble, I guess.”
Heh. What has he got against elves? Or is it a jab against K & J?
“Please… I beg you. My work is not done yet. Give me… a few minutes… I have to finish it… for ‘her’.” Prism pleaded.
Talek shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I’m not the patient sort. We’ve been looking for hours and I’m a bit tired of these hills. Draw steel and let’s get busy.” He got in a combat stance.
I hoped Talek would see him as a kindred artistic soul...“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
He really isn't cut out to be assassin. (Although, IIRC, in history there were such assassins -- basically fencing masters, who could kill almost anybody in a duel and stay within the law.)
“My father always said you shouldn’t hide from things.” Talek said as he raised his sword. “And besides… I… want to find out.” He licked his lips. “Hey Montaron, if I’d… kill him now, that’d be murder, right?”
Montaron smirked. “According to Amnish law, the guy’s an outlaw, but I doubt ye’re talking legalities. Yeah, I guess his is as close to cold-blooded murder as a hot-head like you can get.”
Talek nodded slowly. “Yeah… he isn’t attacking me or just attacked me. He’s not threatening anybody, and I don’t think he is. He didn’t even insult me. I’ve got nothing against him. So if I kill him…” The sword was brought to the side, readied to strike.
Now this is really creeps me out. He seems not to even consider Prism a human/sentient being... Or, probably, just doesn't care.
(Although, now that I look at it, isn't it so unlike we and our characters consider ogres?)
There was a wet sound. The chisel moved a bit, the hammer came down wrong and the delicate nose broke off and fell to the ground. Prism looked in horror and pain. Talek’s sword had dug deep between his ribs.
And statue is broken...“That’s IT? That’s all there is? This is murder? I cut, he falls?” More laughter sounded as he raised his sword and looked at his mirror image on the blade, blood covering part of his face on it. “This is what I was afraid of all my life? This is what I was hiding from?”
I just don't get it. Talek isn't devoid of empathy towards his (few) friends, and he hates many others, but now he kills without even a thought of Prism himself, only of his own feelings. Weird and disturbing. Even Valen wasn't like that.
Bhaal himself raising from the grave to give ye a thumbs up?
It's a wonder Xzar missed that one.“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
Wait till Immy learns about that...
“Aren’t ye forgetting something?” Montaron said. He pointed at the emeralds that were set in the statue’s face. “We didn’t come all the way here for ye to add a notch to yer hilt. And get the guy’s head too. The wizard will keep it on him. We’ll need it as proof of the deed.”
Ever practical. Although now Monty doesn't seem that bad...The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
Heh. Once a jerk, always a jerk.
“The same one that threatened Imoen back in Naskhel this morning?” Talek continued darkly.
Typo: "Nashkel".
“That little brat? I’d have loved to do more then threatening her. Little girls should stay with their mommies, or bad things happen to them.” There was a whistling sound. Greywolf reflexively raised his shield and a bolt was stuck in it.
Them's fighting words...
Wait, crossbow=Monty... Why he cares?
“I think this was all just a biiiiig misunderstanding.” Xzar cooed. “We’re all friends, right? Why don’t you let Talek go? You don’t want to hurt him. And Talek doesn’t want to hurt you” Xzar made desperate signs to Talek to stay calm, and thanks to a quick action from Viconia and a warning from a groggy Montaron, Talek contented himself with staring in confusion at the exchange.
Oh. That is a spell you mentioned. Well, the PnP version always seemed more interesting and balanced to me. Why do you find it more disturbing, BTW? As I see it, it just temporarely alters perceptions, while the in-game version makes the recipient a complete zombie.
The man scowled at Talek. “What are you waiting for? Ain’t got the guts?”
So, he's brave. Still, probably won't save him now...Very interesting chapter. I rather liked the battle description (even in-game Greywolf is a bit of a challenge, and yours isn't a pushover, too). Although, as I said, the killing of Prism... maybe that was a little bit too disturbing. I mean, sure, Talek ain't no solar, but in this scene, for me, he comes across as... well, almost inhuman.
#9
Guest_Bjorn_*
Guest_Bjorn_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 12:19 AM
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?[/i]
Nah, I think it's fine as it is. Better to leave it on a memorable moment than to have it kind of trail off.
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
Talek, think you've got more important things to worry about than losing your suntan.Talek chuckled. “I’ve stopped worrying about what my OWN kind thinks of me. I ain’t even gonna start worrying what pointy ears of various colours think of me.” He gave her a questioning stare as they were almost upon the sculptor. “Why DID you take off anyway?”
That's a longer story than you've got time for right now, Talek.
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
Yeah, like that's going to make a difference, Talek. Either kill him or don't -
but unless you want to fight blindfolded with your shoe laces tied together or something, there's no way you're going to be able to call it a fair fight.
“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
Hmm. Mixed feelings about this bit. On the one hand, the story's taking an interesting path here, and I'll be interested to see what happens to Talek after this. But I have to say that I just about lost all my sympathies for Talek here - up until now I've always felt a bit sorry for him, but that's going to be a lot harder after this.
I think the thing is that before when he's killed people, it's been because he's been angry about something, and the influence of the taint on him has been obvious - so I've always felt that it's not 100% his fault. But this time, when he was making the decision to kill Prism, it didn't seem like the taint was a factor - there wasn't any bloodlust or anything like that, he just thought it through, considered all the implications, and made a decision in cold blood.
I don't know - before, I've always been able to see the side of Talek that makes Immy stay his friend, and that made Gorion stick up for him and support him. But after this, I'm not sure I can see that any more. I;m not saying that I'm going to hate him forever - but at the moment I;m finding it very hard to like him.
Anyway, hope my thoughts are in some way useful. I'm not saying that I don't like this bit, just that it did have a big effect on the way I see Talek.
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
I'm definitely not going to have any problem with Talek killing this one...
Viconia cursed harshly in drow. Talek snarled. “Why you… Wait… Are you Greywolf?”
Quick on the uptake, aren't you, Talek.
“That’s a pretty sword you have.” The necromancer drawled. “Talek there is also a big fan of swords. Could he hold it for a while?”
Charm spells are fun!
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.”
I really wish he hadn't left Immy and the Harpers. Monty and Xzar may be good friends to him, but if he carries on like this for long then by the time he realises the need to fight the taint it may be too late. Bhaal must be loving every minute of this.
#10
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 02:14 AM
]
Good to hear. Maybe I'll have some mentioning of the history behind it.
Yeah, now that you mention it.
He's used to doing nightly guard duty.
Thanks.
Whoops, my drow-fu is weak.
He's got the same against elves that he has against humans, dwarves and most of the rest of the world population. He expects them to treat him badly, and acts acordingly. After all, there WERE elves in Candlekeep, and they didn't like him any better then the humans did. So, in Talek's mind 'to the Abyss with them too' He IS of course, entirely prepared to make exceptions. Talek has a lot of shortcomings, but he's no racist.
Sadly no. For one, he doesn't recognise the romantic obsession of Prism, so it's just a meaningless piece of stone looking like an elf to him. If it was a battlefield scene Prism might have more succes.
Hmm... neat trick. But that's not Talek's style either. And no, Talek is NO assassin by any stretch of the imagination. Not even a wannabe. He'd tend to forget asking for payment for one.
Yeah. And most humans Talek have met have shown him as much goodwill as the ogres he met. Talek doesn't really care much for them. After all, they never cared much for him.
Insult to injury.
If you spend your whole life among people that mostly detest and fear you, I do hink your sense of empathy might start to suffer. His stance towards humanity is somewhere between carelessness and animsoity. He expects most of them to treat him like garbage, and he returns the favor, unless individuals show themselves to be different. Note that that doesn't have to be much. But Talek cares little for humanity in general.
HE was probably alking to the voices in his head.
Thing is that Talek won't even try to hide it. The POSSIBILITY that Imoen would be urt doesn't occur to him. Talek doesn't think things through.
Heh, Montaron is already starting to look good next to Talek eh?
Talek can't ONLY kill innocents.
Whoops.
Killing words even.
He has a bit of a weak spot for her. But it's probably partly just 'trying to put a bolt through him while he's talking'
Well, I would think that in the case of compulsion, it's like being in a bad dream where someone else is controlling your actions, while for charming, your mind is being twisted instead of surpressed, so for a short while, you actively WANT to kill your companions. I'd rather have my body's control ripped form me than my mind's.
My sources say 'no'
Well.... he IS inhuman isn't he? But maybe I'll make him hesitate a little longer, and put some extra stress on Bhaal's little present working his magic. After all, Talek has been living with a desire to kill for years, and the floodgates have been opened.
Thanks for the input. I'll probably make some slight alterations with them.
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?
*After reading* Nah, it seems perfectly okay to me. Although I wouldn't call identifying of Varscona boring...
Good to hear. Maybe I'll have some mentioning of the history behind it.
The others were less comfortable, though all of them walked pretty sure footed. Montaron being a thief, Xzar having studied his craft in dark places and Talek being used to guard at night.
Maybe it would be better to make it one phrase?
Yeah, now that you mention it.
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
Ah. He isn't strictly a morning man, then.
He's used to doing nightly guard duty.
Viconia gave the halfling a stare as well. “You seem to be used to walk among darkness, thief.”
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
“Hm…. A follower of the Usurper of Shadows are you?” Viconia said.
Montaron rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s leave politics out of this and get down to business.” He took off, followed by the others.
Thanks.
“A darthir. The pathetic rivvil is mooning over a surface elf! Typical!” She almost spat.
Maybe "darthiir"?
Whoops, my drow-fu is weak.
“Heh, so hanging with you will get them angry at me too eh?” Talek grinned. “Saves me the trouble, I guess.”
Heh. What has he got against elves? Or is it a jab against K & J?
He's got the same against elves that he has against humans, dwarves and most of the rest of the world population. He expects them to treat him badly, and acts acordingly. After all, there WERE elves in Candlekeep, and they didn't like him any better then the humans did. So, in Talek's mind 'to the Abyss with them too' He IS of course, entirely prepared to make exceptions. Talek has a lot of shortcomings, but he's no racist.
“Please… I beg you. My work is not done yet. Give me… a few minutes… I have to finish it… for ‘her’.” Prism pleaded.
Talek shook his head. “Nope, sorry. I’m not the patient sort. We’ve been looking for hours and I’m a bit tired of these hills. Draw steel and let’s get busy.” He got in a combat stance.
Sadly no. For one, he doesn't recognise the romantic obsession of Prism, so it's just a meaningless piece of stone looking like an elf to him. If it was a battlefield scene Prism might have more succes.
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
(Although, IIRC, in history there were such assassins -- basically fencing masters, who could kill almost anybody in a duel and stay within the law.)
Hmm... neat trick. But that's not Talek's style either. And no, Talek is NO assassin by any stretch of the imagination. Not even a wannabe. He'd tend to forget asking for payment for one.
“My father always said you shouldn’t hide from things.” Talek said as he raised his sword. “And besides… I… want to find out.” He licked his lips. “Hey Montaron, if I’d… kill him now, that’d be murder, right?”
Montaron smirked. “According to Amnish law, the guy’s an outlaw, but I doubt ye’re talking legalities. Yeah, I guess his is as close to cold-blooded murder as a hot-head like you can get.”
Talek nodded slowly. “Yeah… he isn’t attacking me or just attacked me. He’s not threatening anybody, and I don’t think he is. He didn’t even insult me. I’ve got nothing against him. So if I kill him…” The sword was brought to the side, readied to strike.
Now this is really creeps me out. He seems not to even consider Prism a human/sentient being... Or, probably, just doesn't care.
(Although, now that I look at it, isn't it so unlike we and our characters consider ogres?)
Yeah. And most humans Talek have met have shown him as much goodwill as the ogres he met. Talek doesn't really care much for them. After all, they never cared much for him.
There was a wet sound. The chisel moved a bit, the hammer came down wrong and the delicate nose broke off and fell to the ground. Prism looked in horror and pain. Talek’s sword had dug deep between his ribs.
Insult to injury.
“That’s IT? That’s all there is? This is murder? I cut, he falls?” More laughter sounded as he raised his sword and looked at his mirror image on the blade, blood covering part of his face on it. “This is what I was afraid of all my life? This is what I was hiding from?”
I just don't get it. Talek isn't devoid of empathy towards his (few) friends, and he hates many others, but now he kills without even a thought of Prism himself, only of his own feelings. Weird and disturbing. Even Valen wasn't like that.
If you spend your whole life among people that mostly detest and fear you, I do hink your sense of empathy might start to suffer. His stance towards humanity is somewhere between carelessness and animsoity. He expects most of them to treat him like garbage, and he returns the favor, unless individuals show themselves to be different. Note that that doesn't have to be much. But Talek cares little for humanity in general.
Bhaal himself raising from the grave to give ye a thumbs up?
HE was probably alking to the voices in his head.
“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
Wait till Immy learns about that...
Thing is that Talek won't even try to hide it. The POSSIBILITY that Imoen would be urt doesn't occur to him. Talek doesn't think things through.
“Aren’t ye forgetting something?” Montaron said. He pointed at the emeralds that were set in the statue’s face. “We didn’t come all the way here for ye to add a notch to yer hilt. And get the guy’s head too. The wizard will keep it on him. We’ll need it as proof of the deed.”
Heh, Montaron is already starting to look good next to Talek eh?
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
Heh. Once a jerk, always a jerk.
Talek can't ONLY kill innocents.
“The same one that threatened Imoen back in Naskhel this morning?” Talek continued darkly.
Typo: "Nashkel".
Whoops.
“That little brat? I’d have loved to do more then threatening her. Little girls should stay with their mommies, or bad things happen to them.” There was a whistling sound. Greywolf reflexively raised his shield and a bolt was stuck in it.
Them's fighting words...
Killing words even.
Wait, crossbow=Monty... Why he cares?
He has a bit of a weak spot for her. But it's probably partly just 'trying to put a bolt through him while he's talking'
“I think this was all just a biiiiig misunderstanding.” Xzar cooed. “We’re all friends, right? Why don’t you let Talek go? You don’t want to hurt him. And Talek doesn’t want to hurt you” Xzar made desperate signs to Talek to stay calm, and thanks to a quick action from Viconia and a warning from a groggy Montaron, Talek contented himself with staring in confusion at the exchange.
Oh. That is a spell you mentioned. Well, the PnP version always seemed more interesting and balanced to me. Why do you find it more disturbing, BTW? As I see it, it just temporarely alters perceptions, while the in-game version makes the recipient a complete zombie.
Well, I would think that in the case of compulsion, it's like being in a bad dream where someone else is controlling your actions, while for charming, your mind is being twisted instead of surpressed, so for a short while, you actively WANT to kill your companions. I'd rather have my body's control ripped form me than my mind's.
The man scowled at Talek. “What are you waiting for? Ain’t got the guts?”
My sources say 'no'
Very interesting chapter. I rather liked the battle description (even in-game Greywolf is a bit of a challenge, and yours isn't a pushover, too). Although, as I said, the killing of Prism... maybe that was a little bit too disturbing. I mean, sure, Talek ain't no solar, but in this scene, for me, he comes across as... well, almost inhuman.
Well.... he IS inhuman isn't he? But maybe I'll make him hesitate a little longer, and put some extra stress on Bhaal's little present working his magic. After all, Talek has been living with a desire to kill for years, and the floodgates have been opened.
Thanks for the input. I'll probably make some slight alterations with them.
#11
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 02:31 AM
[quote][quote]
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?[/i]
[/quote]
Nah, I think it's fine as it is. Better to leave it on a memorable moment than to have it kind of trail off. [/quote]
Right. Thought so but wasn't sure.
[quote] [quote]
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
[/quote]
Talek, think you've got more important things to worry about than losing your suntan. [/quote]
Talek: Well... there's vengance.... and protecting Imoen. But that's it...
[quote] [quote]
Talek chuckled. “I’ve stopped worrying about what my OWN kind thinks of me. I ain’t even gonna start worrying what pointy ears of various colours think of me.” He gave her a questioning stare as they were almost upon the sculptor. “Why DID you take off anyway?”
[/quote]
That's a longer story than you've got time for right now, Talek. [/quote]
Nor is Vic about to tell someone she met hardly 24 hours ago.
[quote] [quote]
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
[/quote]
Yeah, like that's going to make a difference, Talek. Either kill him or don't -
but unless you want to fight blindfolded with your shoe laces tied together or something, there's no way you're going to be able to call it a fair fight. [/quote]
It doesn't have to be a FAIR fight, but to Talek, there's still the difference between 'fight' and 'not fight' When he kills while fighting, there is SOMETHING of an excuse.
[quote] [uote]
“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
[/quote]
Hmm. Mixed feelings about this bit. On the one hand, the story's taking an interesting path here, and I'll be interested to see what happens to Talek after this. But I have to say that I just about lost all my sympathies for Talek here - up until now I've always felt a bit sorry for him, but that's going to be a lot harder after this.
I think the thing is that before when he's killed people, it's been because he's been angry about something, and the influence of the taint on him has been obvious - so I've always felt that it's not 100% his fault. But this time, when he was making the decision to kill Prism, it didn't seem like the taint was a factor - there wasn't any bloodlust or anything like that, he just thought it through, considered all the implications, and made a decision in cold blood.
I don't know - before, I've always been able to see the side of Talek that makes Immy stay his friend, and that made Gorion stick up for him and support him. But after this, I'm not sure I can see that any more. I;m not saying that I'm going to hate him forever - but at the moment I;m finding it very hard to like him.
Anyway, hope my thoughts are in some way useful. I'm not saying that I don't like this bit, just that it did have a big effect on the way I see Talek. [/Quote]
Hmm... the Taint DOES have an effect on him. It gives him the constant desire to kill. (see Talek's declaration to Khalid) Now that his moral hang-ups are failing, he's indulging the desire the Taint gives him. It IS fo course, his fault, up to a point. But Talek is someone who acts upon his desires, and he's got a serious desire to kill, and little empathy to stop it.
I WILL give Talek some 'not totally corrupt' points later though, soI hope this scene won't break your joy too mluch. Thanks for the feed-back though.
[quote] [quote]
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
[/quote]
I'm definitely not going to have any problem with Talek killing this one... [/quote]
Thought so...
[quote] [quote]
Viconia cursed harshly in drow. Talek snarled. “Why you… Wait… Are you Greywolf?”
[/quote]
Quick on the uptake, aren't you, Talek. [/quote]
Hey, for HIM, this is light-speed thinking.
[quote] [quote]
“That’s a pretty sword you have.” The necromancer drawled. “Talek there is also a big fan of swords. Could he hold it for a while?”
[/quote]
Charm spells are fun! [/quote]
If you're the one doing the charming.
[quote] [quote]
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.”[/quote]
I really wish he hadn't left Immy and the Harpers. Monty and Xzar may be good friends to him, but if he carries on like this for long then by the time he realises the need to fight the taint it may be too late. Bhaal must be loving every minute of this.[/quote]
Oh yes he does. Talek is DEFINATELY making all the WRONG choices here. And he'll bear the consequences for a LONG time.
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?[/i]
[/quote]
Nah, I think it's fine as it is. Better to leave it on a memorable moment than to have it kind of trail off. [/quote]
Right. Thought so but wasn't sure.
[quote] [quote]
Talek shrugged. “Noon to after midnight it is then. Just hope I won’t go TOO pale. Guess I’ll have to make the most of the daylight hours we get then. At least I’m not tired y…”
[/quote]
Talek, think you've got more important things to worry about than losing your suntan. [/quote]Talek: Well... there's vengance.... and protecting Imoen. But that's it...
[quote] [quote]
Talek chuckled. “I’ve stopped worrying about what my OWN kind thinks of me. I ain’t even gonna start worrying what pointy ears of various colours think of me.” He gave her a questioning stare as they were almost upon the sculptor. “Why DID you take off anyway?”
[/quote]
That's a longer story than you've got time for right now, Talek. [/quote]
Nor is Vic about to tell someone she met hardly 24 hours ago.
[quote] [quote]
“Euh… no… I’m an artist. I never had much of a stomach for fighting.” The artist sounded almost apologetic.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
[/quote]
Yeah, like that's going to make a difference, Talek. Either kill him or don't -
but unless you want to fight blindfolded with your shoe laces tied together or something, there's no way you're going to be able to call it a fair fight. [/quote]
It doesn't have to be a FAIR fight, but to Talek, there's still the difference between 'fight' and 'not fight' When he kills while fighting, there is SOMETHING of an excuse.
[quote] [uote]
“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
[/quote]
Hmm. Mixed feelings about this bit. On the one hand, the story's taking an interesting path here, and I'll be interested to see what happens to Talek after this. But I have to say that I just about lost all my sympathies for Talek here - up until now I've always felt a bit sorry for him, but that's going to be a lot harder after this.
I think the thing is that before when he's killed people, it's been because he's been angry about something, and the influence of the taint on him has been obvious - so I've always felt that it's not 100% his fault. But this time, when he was making the decision to kill Prism, it didn't seem like the taint was a factor - there wasn't any bloodlust or anything like that, he just thought it through, considered all the implications, and made a decision in cold blood.
I don't know - before, I've always been able to see the side of Talek that makes Immy stay his friend, and that made Gorion stick up for him and support him. But after this, I'm not sure I can see that any more. I;m not saying that I'm going to hate him forever - but at the moment I;m finding it very hard to like him.
Anyway, hope my thoughts are in some way useful. I'm not saying that I don't like this bit, just that it did have a big effect on the way I see Talek. [/Quote]
Hmm... the Taint DOES have an effect on him. It gives him the constant desire to kill. (see Talek's declaration to Khalid) Now that his moral hang-ups are failing, he's indulging the desire the Taint gives him. It IS fo course, his fault, up to a point. But Talek is someone who acts upon his desires, and he's got a serious desire to kill, and little empathy to stop it.
I WILL give Talek some 'not totally corrupt' points later though, soI hope this scene won't break your joy too mluch. Thanks for the feed-back though.
[quote] [quote]
The man didn’t even look at Viconia. “Your pet drow is a bit unruly. I advice to invest in a leash, or someone might cut off her tongue. And that’d be a shame. Getting them on their knees to service you isn’t nearly as much fun then.”
[/quote]
I'm definitely not going to have any problem with Talek killing this one... [/quote]
Thought so...
[quote] [quote]
Viconia cursed harshly in drow. Talek snarled. “Why you… Wait… Are you Greywolf?”
[/quote]
Quick on the uptake, aren't you, Talek.
[/quote]Hey, for HIM, this is light-speed thinking.
[quote] [quote]
“That’s a pretty sword you have.” The necromancer drawled. “Talek there is also a big fan of swords. Could he hold it for a while?”
[/quote]
Charm spells are fun!
[/quote]If you're the one doing the charming.
[quote] [quote]
Without a further word, Talek pushed the sword into his throat. There was some vapour as hot blood touched icy steel. Greywolf gurgled a stream of blood, fell to his knees and then on his face, with a small puddle forming under him.
[/quote]
[quote]
Talek grinned. “Should have told me you were in a hurry.”[/quote]
I really wish he hadn't left Immy and the Harpers. Monty and Xzar may be good friends to him, but if he carries on like this for long then by the time he realises the need to fight the taint it may be too late. Bhaal must be loving every minute of this.[/quote]Oh yes he does. Talek is DEFINATELY making all the WRONG choices here. And he'll bear the consequences for a LONG time.
#12
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 03:19 AM
There... just added an extra paragraph letting Talek doubt about the kill a little longer (and expose his feelings a bit) after some comments. I kinda like it better with his. There is a big hint of 'giving in to the Taint' instead of just 'killing for the fun of it' Hope it improves the chapter for you.
#13
Laufey
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Transcendant
Posted 22 December 2003 - 04:06 PM
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?
I prefer it the way you did it, rather than slowing the pace down.
“We’ve got our mark. Some fool artsy type setting the stones in a statue. I could see the little babies winking at me. He didn’t notice me, but I’ve got the feeling he wouldn’t notice me till I cut his tendons.” Montaron grinned.
“Oghma’s balls. Do you HAVE to sneak up on us like that?” Talek said. “How the hell do you do that anyway? I WAS looking out for you.”
Well, he's practiced.
Viconia gave the halfling a stare as well. “You seem to be used to walk among darkness, thief.”
“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
I *really* hate the idea of that Wall. Completely disgusting, I think.
“That… and the bounty.” Talek grinned as he tapped the sword on the palm of his gauntlet.
Montaron gave an annoyed sigh. “Do we HAVE to announce what we’re planning to do? Personally I’d have preferred to just put a bolt in his head without the yapping.”
Oh dear...poor Monty, having to put up with this.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”
“Oh you’ve GOTTA be kidding me!” The halfling exclaimed. “What? Ye want me to be a witness as well? Need a glove to slap him in the face or something?”
Montaron broke through the surprised silence. “What did ye expect? Thorm taking a few minutes to personally kick yer ass? Bhaal himself raising from the grave to give ye a thumbs up? It’s just a kill, nothing more.”
“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
Ooooh boy...better hope he doesn't start killing random peasants for fun.
“Hm… A rivvil past his prime. In the Underdark you’d have long since been made a docile servant to breed instead of slowing down the younger fighters.” Viconia remarked.
Go Vicky!
A lucky hit from Viconia on the man’s neck made Greywolf groan though. Keeping his sword in a deadlock with Talek, he turned around and slammed the shield in the drow’s face twice in quick succession. Talek didn’t hesitate and gulped down the life-saving blue liquid. As he felt the wound healing, he pressed the attack again, allowing Viconia some time to regain her bearings. The drow was still slowed down because of the attack though, Montaron was still getting up slowly and Talek’s quick strikes accomplished nothing.
Good fight scene, fast paced and intense.
Greywolf’s eyes were slightly unfocused. “I guess not.” He lowered his sword. “So... what do we do now?”
“That’s a pretty sword you have.” The necromancer drawled. “Talek there is also a big fan of swords. Could he hold it for a while?”
The bounty hunter shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” He handed his sword to the flabbergasted Talek, who dropped his own in favour of the enchanted blade.
Ah, Charm! Nice description of it too.
Rogues do it from behind.
#14
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 08:34 PM
Also. Something of a writing issue I have. On one hand, this chapter ends rather suddenly. On the oher hand, I don't feel like ending the action scene with a rather boring description of healing, recuperating and identifying, when I can do that easier off screen the next chapter when I have the party walking back to town, and Talek's one liner seems a good place to end. Do you people think I should add a few lines to conclude?
I prefer it the way you did it, rather than slowing the pace down.
Right. Thanks. I'll keep it this way then.
“We’ve got our mark. Some fool artsy type setting the stones in a statue. I could see the little babies winking at me. He didn’t notice me, but I’ve got the feeling he wouldn’t notice me till I cut his tendons.” Montaron grinned.“Oghma’s balls. Do you HAVE to sneak up on us like that?” Talek said. “How the hell do you do that anyway? I WAS looking out for you.”
Well, he's practiced.
Not bad for a multiclasser eh?
Viconia gave the halfling a stare as well. “You seem to be used to walk among darkness, thief.”“Part of the job. And before ye ask. No, I’ve got no intention to become a Sharran. I like living a bit too much for that. I pay my dues to Mask so I won’t become part of Kelemvor’s real-estate and that’s that.” Montaron shrugged.
I *really* hate the idea of that Wall. Completely disgusting, I think.
Doesn't sound very nice to me either. But to play devil... or rather, gods' adovocate, would you invite someone in your realm who has made it very clear that he wants NOTHING to do with you? One question that occurs to me is what would be preferable, going 'PinkFloyd' or becoming a Blood War soldier. Sounds a bit odd doesn't it? You worship Mask or Cyric all your life, and as a reward, you don't get made a brick, just tossed in the Abyss.
Of course, to someone like Talek, the Blood War may not be as bad as to some others. An eternity of fighting and killing, and if you get killed, it's not permanent?
“That… and the bounty.” Talek grinned as he tapped the sword on the palm of his gauntlet.Montaron gave an annoyed sigh. “Do we HAVE to announce what we’re planning to do? Personally I’d have preferred to just put a bolt in his head without the yapping.”
Oh dear...poor Monty, having to put up with this.
Xzar alone wasn't enough.
Talek thought for a few moments. “Montaron. Give him your sword!”“Oh you’ve GOTTA be kidding me!” The halfling exclaimed. “What? Ye want me to be a witness as well? Need a glove to slap him in the face or something?”
In some ways, Montaron is a dirtier, low down, scummy, crueler version of a certain assassin we know eh?
Montaron broke through the surprised silence. “What did ye expect? Thorm taking a few minutes to personally kick yer ass? Bhaal himself raising from the grave to give ye a thumbs up? It’s just a kill, nothing more.”“I don’t know.” Talek said, still with a grin on his face. “Something, I guess. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Maybe regret of doing it. But nothing. Just the pleasure of a kill. It’s really THAT easy!” He accentuated the word by slashing his sword downward, sending more blood on the statue, then sighed contently. “The world just became a whole lot more fun.”
Ooooh boy...better hope he doesn't start killing random peasants for fun.
Heh, nah, he's not THAT far gone. Just... don't irritate him. And of course, Montaron will try to direct Talek towards 'profitable' killings.
“Hm… A rivvil past his prime. In the Underdark you’d have long since been made a docile servant to breed instead of slowing down the younger fighters.” Viconia remarked.
Go Vicky!
Heh, maybe I should have added 'if he is still CAPABLE fo performing that function'
A lucky hit from Viconia on the man’s neck made Greywolf groan though. Keeping his sword in a deadlock with Talek, he turned around and slammed the shield in the drow’s face twice in quick succession. Talek didn’t hesitate and gulped down the life-saving blue liquid. As he felt the wound healing, he pressed the attack again, allowing Viconia some time to regain her bearings. The drow was still slowed down because of the attack though, Montaron was still getting up slowly and Talek’s quick strikes accomplished nothing.
Good fight scene, fast paced and intense.
Thanks. It took me some time to get it done though.
Greywolf’s eyes were slightly unfocused. “I guess not.” He lowered his sword. “So... what do we do now?”“That’s a pretty sword you have.” The necromancer drawled. “Talek there is also a big fan of swords. Could he hold it for a while?”
The bounty hunter shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” He handed his sword to the flabbergasted Talek, who dropped his own in favour of the enchanted blade.
Ah, Charm! Nice description of it too.
Thanks. Doesn't ALWAYS have to be the HEORES who get charmed.
#15
Laufey
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 09:40 PM
[quote]
I *really* hate the idea of that Wall. Completely disgusting, I think. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Doesn't sound very nice to me either. But to play devil... or rather, gods' adovocate, would you invite someone in your realm who has made it very clear that he wants NOTHING to do with you? One question that occurs to me is what would be preferable, going 'PinkFloyd' or becoming a Blood War soldier. Sounds a bit odd doesn't it? You worship Mask or Cyric all your life, and as a reward, you don't get made a brick, just tossed in the Abyss.
[/quote]
[quote]
Of course, to someone like Talek, the Blood War may not be as bad as to some others. An eternity of fighting and killing, and if you get killed, it's not permanent?
[/quote]
Actually, I don't really like *anything* about the Realms afterlife. And it really makes me wonder why anybody should choose to worship an evil deity, knowing what awaits. And they do know, after all. You'd almost have to be stupid, and somebody like Viconia is not stupid.
[quote]
[quote]
“Oh you’ve GOTTA be kidding me!” The halfling exclaimed. “What? Ye want me to be a witness as well? Need a glove to slap him in the face or something?”
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
In some ways, Montaron is a dirtier, low down, scummy, crueler version of a certain assassin we know eh?
[/quote]
Knew there had to be a reason I liked him!
I *really* hate the idea of that Wall. Completely disgusting, I think. [/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Doesn't sound very nice to me either. But to play devil... or rather, gods' adovocate, would you invite someone in your realm who has made it very clear that he wants NOTHING to do with you? One question that occurs to me is what would be preferable, going 'PinkFloyd' or becoming a Blood War soldier. Sounds a bit odd doesn't it? You worship Mask or Cyric all your life, and as a reward, you don't get made a brick, just tossed in the Abyss.
[/quote]
[quote]
Of course, to someone like Talek, the Blood War may not be as bad as to some others. An eternity of fighting and killing, and if you get killed, it's not permanent?
[/quote]
Actually, I don't really like *anything* about the Realms afterlife. And it really makes me wonder why anybody should choose to worship an evil deity, knowing what awaits. And they do know, after all. You'd almost have to be stupid, and somebody like Viconia is not stupid.
[quote]
[quote]
“Oh you’ve GOTTA be kidding me!” The halfling exclaimed. “What? Ye want me to be a witness as well? Need a glove to slap him in the face or something?”
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[/quote][/quote]
[quote]
In some ways, Montaron is a dirtier, low down, scummy, crueler version of a certain assassin we know eh?
[/quote]
Knew there had to be a reason I liked him!
Rogues do it from behind.
#16
Guest_Theodur_*
Guest_Theodur_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 09:55 PM
[quote][quote]
I *really* hate the idea of that Wall. Completely disgusting, I think. [/quote]
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]
Doesn't sound very nice to me either. But to play devil... or rather, gods' adovocate, would you invite someone in your realm who has made it very clear that he wants NOTHING to do with you? One question that occurs to me is what would be preferable, going 'PinkFloyd' or becoming a Blood War soldier. Sounds a bit odd doesn't it? You worship Mask or Cyric all your life, and as a reward, you don't get made a brick, just tossed in the Abyss.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]
Of course, to someone like Talek, the Blood War may not be as bad as to some others. An eternity of fighting and killing, and if you get killed, it's not permanent?
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Actually, I don't really like *anything* about the Realms afterlife. And it really makes me wonder why anybody should choose to worship an evil deity, knowing what awaits. And they do know, after all. You'd almost have to be stupid, and somebody like Viconia is not stupid.
[/quote]
I'm not sure I really understand what happens to the followers of evil deities after their death. Aren't they picked up by their respective deities at the Fugue Plane and then taken to the realms of those deities? Granted, Cyric's realm would not be a place someone would want to stay for an eternity, but... I just wonder what would it be like.
I *really* hate the idea of that Wall. Completely disgusting, I think. [/quote]
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]
Doesn't sound very nice to me either. But to play devil... or rather, gods' adovocate, would you invite someone in your realm who has made it very clear that he wants NOTHING to do with you? One question that occurs to me is what would be preferable, going 'PinkFloyd' or becoming a Blood War soldier. Sounds a bit odd doesn't it? You worship Mask or Cyric all your life, and as a reward, you don't get made a brick, just tossed in the Abyss.
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
[quote]
Of course, to someone like Talek, the Blood War may not be as bad as to some others. An eternity of fighting and killing, and if you get killed, it's not permanent?
[/quote]
[/quote]
[quote]
Actually, I don't really like *anything* about the Realms afterlife. And it really makes me wonder why anybody should choose to worship an evil deity, knowing what awaits. And they do know, after all. You'd almost have to be stupid, and somebody like Viconia is not stupid.
[/quote]
I'm not sure I really understand what happens to the followers of evil deities after their death. Aren't they picked up by their respective deities at the Fugue Plane and then taken to the realms of those deities? Granted, Cyric's realm would not be a place someone would want to stay for an eternity, but... I just wonder what would it be like.
#17
Guest_Rand Al'Tor_*
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Posted 22 December 2003 - 10:40 PM
Good questions. Perhaps the evil gods only take care of those 'deserving' and dump the rest in the Blood War. Probably depends from evil god to evil god too. I think someone like Umberlee might have a good position for loyal servants, while someone like Mask...
Anyway, there are some reasons why you'd serve a dark god.
1: "Now is now, later is later." After all, death is an abstract thing in the future, so any people that desire evil deeds might decide that they'll worry about that bridge when they cross it.
2: "I shall NOT bow". Some people who desire evil might say they won't follow the moral code of some god, just because he'll go to the Abyss if he doesn't, and choose to serve gods who appreciate him as he/she is.
3 "Afterlife? That would suggest I'll die." Hey, this is the Forgotten Realms. Extending your life/unlife for centuries is difficul but possible. Especially with a dark god backing you up.
Anyway, there are some reasons why you'd serve a dark god.
1: "Now is now, later is later." After all, death is an abstract thing in the future, so any people that desire evil deeds might decide that they'll worry about that bridge when they cross it.
2: "I shall NOT bow". Some people who desire evil might say they won't follow the moral code of some god, just because he'll go to the Abyss if he doesn't, and choose to serve gods who appreciate him as he/she is.
3 "Afterlife? That would suggest I'll die." Hey, this is the Forgotten Realms. Extending your life/unlife for centuries is difficul but possible. Especially with a dark god backing you up.
#18
Laufey
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Posted 23 December 2003 - 10:12 AM
Good questions. Perhaps the evil gods only take care of those 'deserving' and dump the rest in the Blood War. Probably depends from evil god to evil god too. I think someone like Umberlee might have a good position for loyal servants, while someone like Mask...
Anyway, there are some reasons why you'd serve a dark god.
1: "Now is now, later is later." After all, death is an abstract thing in the future, so any people that desire evil deeds might decide that they'll worry about that bridge when they cross it.
2: "I shall NOT bow". Some people who desire evil might say they won't follow the moral code of some god, just because he'll go to the Abyss if he doesn't, and choose to serve gods who appreciate him as he/she is.
3 "Afterlife? That would suggest I'll die." Hey, this is the Forgotten Realms. Extending your life/unlife for centuries is difficul but possible. Especially with a dark god backing you up.
Yes, you make some good points there.
As for Cyric, I think it's been implied that people who serve him are usually insane. (Tiax being a good example.) That said, I still don't like the Faerunian concept of the afterlife much, dividing people according to which god they worship and such. For example, that could mean that you and your husband/wife love each other. You're both decent people, but upon death you'll be parted forever, because you happened to worship different gods. That simply doesn't sit well with me.
Rogues do it from behind.
#19
Guest_Theodur_*
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Posted 23 December 2003 - 11:02 AM
Yes, you make some good points there.
Yep, I don't have much fondness for it either. But as I understood it from the Faiths and Pantheons, some deities do share their home planes, so it isn't like one deity has its own, specific one.
For example, Sune and Tymora has the same home plane (Brightwater), as do Azuth and Mystra (Dweomerheart), Malar, Talos and Umberlee (Fury's Heart), Chauntea, Mielikki, Silvanus, Eldath and other nature gods (Nature's House)... also Helm, Ilmater, Torm and Tyr seem to share the same Home Plane.
I also like to imagine that one could probably travel outside the realm of their deity, at least to the planes of deities of similar alignments (as much as I dislike the term). That would at least prevent the situation that a wife and husband could be seperated, which is a pretty awful thought...of course unless she worshipped Loviathar and he Lathander... but I do wonder hiw did they end up in a marriage, then.
Not sure how much my thoughts are close to the canon, but I'm trying to look at the whole system so that it does not seem utterly revolting to me.
#20
Laufey
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Posted 23 December 2003 - 11:24 AM
Not sure how much my thoughts are close to the canon, but I'm trying to look at the whole system so that it does not seem utterly revolting to me.
That's pretty much how I do it too.
In writing, I take the parts I like, and ignore the parts I don't like.
Rogues do it from behind.
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