"How does it look there?" Laska asked.

"Same as under the oak," Viconia replied. "Too tacky for words."

"Well, I am planning to take the lid off and fill it up with earth and plants," Laska said. "Maybe some geraniums or chrysanthemums. Or both. Oh, and perhaps a Narcissus or two."

"It doesn't matter what you'll put in it," Viconia shook her head, "it'll always be a tacky eyesore."

"An expensive tacky eye-sore, though," Laska grinned.

They stood in the backyard of the house, overlooking the garden which Laska kept in her free time, when she was not swimming, practising her combat-moves, playing with the children or spending time with Rose. For Laska's chaotic nature, the garden was surprisingly organized. Several flower beds were meticulously kept and weeded often, while the lawn of grass she had sown recently was growing steadily and verdantly... The oak stood in the middle of the garden, surrounded by creeping vines. Near the shed stood a small bed of home-grown vegetables, including carrots, cauliflower and tomatoes. And not only that, but all the plants in the house were well-kept and well-cared for. It was a responsibility in Laska that Viconia had never expected to see.

Right now, Laska and Viconia were trying to find a place for Bodhi's boat, which Laska wanted to use as a giant pot for plants. Of course, Viconia detested the thing, and was trying to get it placed out of sight. Unfortunately, Laska loved it and wanted it in plain view.

"Oh, we'll decided later," Laska muttered. "I still have to finish the swing-set I promised to the children. Not to mention the picnic-table Rose wanted."

"When have you got time to work on a picnic-table?" Viconia asked.

"Oh, here and there," Laska said. "It's only a matter of buying the best boards and the right nails and then it's easy." After walking to the shed, Laska opened the door and revealed a skeleton of a picnic-table. "See? I only need to saw the boards and hammer them in. Rose will paint it herself and will probably turn it into a work of art. There's really not much work involved. Just a little sawing and hammering."

"Laska, since when do you do carpentry?"

"Since I was ten," she grinned. "What? You didn't think the monks let me stay in Candlekeep for my dashing good looks alone? No, I had to make myself useful. I was good at climbing and keeping my balance so I fixed roofs, helped raise barns, repaired buildings, sawed boards and such... It's better than sitting in a stuffy library slaving over magic-books, I suppose. Can't do magic anyway, so it's no comparison."

"Any more dark secrets?" Viconia asked. "Like that you can fly and beat a dwarf at the forge?"

"I can't fly," Laska grinned. "Nor can I beat a dwarf at the forge. I tried it once when I was 17 and my hair caught fire, so they quickly put me back on carpentry. No, Candlekeep was a quiet place. When Imoen and I weren't up to mischief, there was plenty of time to learn trades. I learned to cook from the cookbooks, carpentry from the carpentry books, fighting from the guards. Sex from guards and visitors... and the books, of course," Laska winked.

"Hmm," Viconia nodded, "I think I know where we can put the boat. How about in the shed! You'll be the only one with such an exclusive garden-tool holder. It'll be perfect when we close the door to the shed and board up the windows..."

"Nah," Laska said. "My plants will love that boat. I think I'll put it near the door..."

"In plain sight for everyone?" Viconia sighed.

"Yep," Laska said. "So, I think I'll water the plants on the patio and then I'll get started on the picnic-table."

The elf put her saw down and adjusted her vest for a moment. Then, as she was about to take off, Viconia stopped her. "Imoen is on the patio," Viconia spoke, which make Laska stop in her tracks.

"Hey," Laska said, not turning around. "I can't really let my plants die because I have some problems with my little sister, no?"

"Don't underestimate this, Laska," Viconia said.

"Oh, it'll solve itself, I'm sure," Laska said. "We've had arguments before and it always solved itself..."

"This is a little more serious than the time where you accidentally dropped her marbles down a drain."

"She told you about that?" Laska blinked before going inside.

The elf slowly walked up the stairs. Once she was upstairs, she walked past the pool in which Becky, Risa and Lise were happily splashing about and headed towards the patio. While Laska had been away, Lasalla had the stone tiles on the patio removed and replaced with earth and grass, complementing the plantholders built into the low stone railing. The plants there had grown spectacularly, but her eyes drifted to Imoen on the deck chair, basking in the sun. On the other deck chair lay Mook, who was quietly chatting with Imoen. So far, Mook was fitting in nicely. Laska's sensitive elven ears picked up on the conversation : they were exchanging tricks of the trade, the trade in question being trap-disarming.

Suddenly, Imoen glanced over her shoulder. Her ready smile and cheerful giggles faded into an impassive-looking glare which turned Laska's heart into lead. "Errrm, don't mind me," Laska said. "I'm just here with my watering can."

"Fine," Imoen said. "Water your plants and then leave."

"Hey, it's my house," Laska smirked.

"Okay, I'll leave," Imoen said and started to rise up.

"No, no, no," Laska sighed. "Just stay there. I'll leave the can here, just promise to water the plants later, okay?"

"Fine," Imoen said.

Laska quickly put down the can and left. Once inside, she pressed her back against the cold stone, closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"How did it go?" Viconia asked Laska while they were sitting at the recently finished and placed picnic-table in the backyard.

"Lousy," Laska said. "What did you expect?"

"Question is, what did you expect?" Viconia said. "You're not the one who have her chat your ears off when you want to sleep. There is room for reconciliation, but she's waiting for you to make the first move."

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" Laska all but snarled. "Didn't I?" he voice was filled with doubt. "So, what do you think? That corner could hold a nice rosebush."

"Maybe... And I noticed that you did change the subject there..."

"So," Laska gulped, "Could you imagine us having a sensitive chat in a house of our own after being on the road only one year ago."

"Changed the subject again," Viconia smirked, "how devious your insipid mind is."

"Hello, hello, hell-oh," the cheerful sound of Jan's voice filled the garden, causing Laska to sigh with relief.

"Janni!" Laska greeted. "Great to see you. Have any stories?"

"Are you NUTS?!" Viconia hissed. "That's a drastic measure to avoid confronting your issues, elf!"

"Well, no stories today... hold your gasps, hold your gasps," Jan said. "It occurred to me that you've never even seen our house yet! And, before we leave for Spellhold... that is, if the thieves come through, I figured I'll invite you all for turnip-dinner this evening, plenty of turnips to eat, drink, hit, slap, nibble, crush, slice, dice, shoot from a cannon, make love to, cut up, dish out, throw at guards, throw at ogres, throw at Drow, throw at dragons and run like hell..."

"You'd better run if you throw one in my direction," Viconia snarled.

"Perfect!" Laska said quickly. "We'll be there! I'll go change now, ta very much!" That said, the elf hurried inside.

"Gnome," Viconia snarled, "One day, I will murder you, you horrible little man."

"Sure," Jan said. "Shall we make an appointment? I have my calendar-book on me right now..."

Viconia just glowered, thinking black clouds of steam might shoot from her ears if Jan kept up his abuse.

"There should be a law against houses being painted purple," Viconia muttered as the party approached Jan's house. Jan's house had formerly been Vaelag's, and the new changes did quite reflect the change of owner. Two statues of giant turnips flanked the entrance, but closer examination revealed that they were, indeed, two giant turnips covered with white plaster. Another assault on Viconia's fine-tuned sense of esthetics.

Keldorn and his wife and daughters were all wearing their best clothes, while Lasalla and the kids joined them for dinner. Laska was wearing her dress-vest with the golden embroideries, while Rose wore her velvet tunic and matching pants. The elf was pleased to note that her half-elven lover was slowly moving away from wearing dresses that often, and liked to think their sparring sessions lay at its basis.

Then, the door flew open and there was Jan, wearing a tuxedo... made from turnip-shells. "Welcome to my precious abode... well, Vaelag's precious abode, but Lissa and I made it quite a lot nicer. Come on in!"

"If he tells a story, I'll kill him," Viconia muttered.

"Let's just have dinner first, Viconia," Keldorn offered.

"Yes," Dynaheir added, "thou canst not turn down free food, after all."

"Is there hamster-chow?" Minsc asked.

"Oy!" Korgan announced, "I be showing ya 'ow ye can chow down a hamster. HAR!"

Once inside, they were confronted with the horrible pains of turnips everywhere. Paintings of turnips adorned every wall, as did tapestries of turnips, statuettes of turnips, carpets with turnip-motifs and turnips on display. One turnip, with one tell-tale bitemark on the top, was in a glass contained labelled 'My first turnip'. Furniture was shaped like turnips, and even the dinner table was a two dimensional representation of a turnip. But the worst part was an extremely ugly painting covering an entire wall labeled 'Jansen Family Portrait. Part 1 of 79'.

"Gods," Viconia groaned. "Please give me a fork so I can poke out my own eyes..."

"Wouldn't you rather have a fork to eat the delicious turnips?" Lissa asked as she sat down at the dinner table. On it were poached turnips, fried turnips, diced turnips, pig-with-turnip, turnip-with-pig, turnip-soup, turnip-oil, turnip-tea, turnip-cola, turkey-turnip, duck-turnip, beefstake and turnip, chicken-turnip, turnip-and-eggs, turnip-spam-spam-spam-spam-spam, vampiric turnip, flesh-eating turnip, turnip and fish-stew, turnip and salmon, turnip and fries, turnip de buoef, turnip and chips, turnip surprise, turnip pudding, turnip-bread and fresh turnip in baskets... lotsa baskets.

"Enjoy!" Jan grinned, "and we're got plenty of turnip-beer and turnip-wine."

"Good," Laska said, "as long as the turnip doesn't get in the way of the alcohol, I'm happy."

Quickly enough, everyone took their seats at the table and started to dig in while Jan and Lissa were enjoying to be able to do something nice for their friends. Of course, Korgan was eating like a pig, shovelling food in his mouth at a tremendous rate, while Dynaheir and Minsc were nibbling some turnip-bread for starters. Keldorn had struck up a conversation with Rose while the kids were cheerfully shooting peas at each other.

Viconia sat between Laska and Imoen at the far side of the table, and it was painfully obvious that the two sisters were deliberately avoiding eyecontact. So far, neither sister was enjoying the party much, and Viconia was quite fed up with her role as a buffer.

"Turnip-beer is quite good, Vico," Laska asked. "Try it."

"I'd rather swallow my own vomit," Viconia said and pitted around in her plate with her fork, trying to separate the succulent pork from the turnips it was baked in, in hopes of finding a turnip-free piece.

"Come on, give it a try," Laska said and emptied the cup.

"Drunk," came a single, damning word from Imoen.

Laska said nothing, but kept staring in front of her. "Vico? Will you tell that sister of mine to that I drink what I please."

Viconia sighed, and turned to Imoen. "Anything to say to that, Imoen?"

"What? I didn't hear Laska say anything," Imoen replied and stared at her nails.

"Oh, for gods' sake," Viconia sighed. "She said 'I'll drink what I please'."

"Figures," Imoen said. "Tell her that if she'd been human, she'd have a beerbelly the size of a pig."

"Laska?" Viconia said.

"What?" the elf said, "I didn't hear anything."

Viconia sighed. "I take it those two long pointed flaps are for decoration only? Very well, she said you'll end up with a beerbelly of a pig."

"Tell her," Laska snarled, "that I'm sick and tired or her incrimination and her anger. Tell her that I will NOT be manipulated into feeling guilty any longer, and tell her that I am starting to get very angry with her indeed!!"

"Right," Viconia sighed. "'I will NOT be manipulated into feeling guilty any longer, and tell her that I am starting to get very angry with her indeed'"

"She's angry?!" Imoen said. "She left me there to rot and SHE's angry?! Tell her she's an insensitive ill-tempered bitch with ugly ears!"

Viconia sighed and turned to Laska. "'She's an insensitive ill-tempered bitch with ugly ears...'"

"What?!" Laska ground her teeth. "Tell her that she'd better take back that bit about the ears!"

Viconia adopted a 'why me'-look and turned to Imoen. "'She'd better take back that bit about the ears...'"

"Tell her, 'Or what?'," Imoen snarled, "She's gonna leave me in a cell and let me to rot there for all eternity?"

"ENNNNOOOUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!" Viconia shouted as she stood up and slammed her fists on the table. "I have had it up to here with being in the middle of your foolish feud!"

"But..." Laska and Imoen spoke at the same time.

"SILENCE!" Viconia shouted, then turned to Imoen. "Imoen! You know Laska cares about you deeply and you know she'd do anything for you! But if you know your own sister, you are an insipid fool to think she'd be sensitive enough to make the first move in the way you are expecting her to make! She would have come to rescue you and you KNOW IT!"

"But..." Imoen stammered.

"SILENCE!" Viconia snarled and turned to Laska. "And you... All your whining about that you'd have to prepare and grow and gain power before facing Irenicus, was all a load of bullocks. YOU waited so long because YOU FEARED HIM! You FEAR Irenicus!"

"I'm not afraid of anyone..."

"Oh, fool someone else!" Viconia snarled. "I can see the fear in your eyes whenever you speak of Irenicus. I can see the scars behind your eyes that this broken figure has left on your elven spirit! I have seen it in dozens of my own victims and now I see it in YOU. Do not fool me like you've fooled yourself. You would not have gone to Spellhold for years without us prodding you into going! Admit it, Laska! Irenicus has BROKEN you!"

Laska said nothing, but trembled like a leaf.

"Now, you both SHUT UP and leave me BE!" Viconia snarled. "You are... not good for my bloodpressure." That said, Viconia turned around and left, headed towards one of the sitting-rooms. Laska and Imoen stared at each other for a moment, and then stood up and left in opposite directions.

The rest of the party, save Korgan who was still stuffing his face, were just sitting there, watching the spectacle. Eventually, it was Keldorn who broke the silence. "Ermm, this is good turnip, Lissa. Where did you find them?" The party started chatting again.

"Imoen?" Rose asked as she entered the kitchen were Imoen had headed to. In the darkness, she found Imoen sitting in the back, eating a big bowl of ice cream. Imoen's mouth was covered in molten chocolate-ice cream and trails of dried tears could clearly been seen on her face.

"W-what is it?" Imoen asked.

"Imoen," Rose said, "I... just want you to know something and then I'll leave you alone, okay?"

"Wait," Imoen said, "you don't have to go, I..."

"Imoen," Rose said, sitting down opposite to Imoen. "I want you to know that Laska loves you. And before you say anything, her thoughts were always with you. She told me so much about you... all the time."

"S-she did?" Imoen said. "I thought she'd forgotten about me..."

"Never," Rose smiled. "She told me so much of the mischief you'd gotten up to in Candlekeep. How you travelled together last year..."

"Please tell me," Imoen grinned, "that she didn't tell you about the raccoon."

"I'm afraid she did," Rose giggled briefly. "But, point is, you were always in her heart. She never forgot about you."

Imoen nodded. "But... I'm still angry with her."

"I never said you shouldn't be," Rose said. "But I just wanted you to know that things aren't always as bad as they seem until you make it so... This, thing between the two of you is destroying her, Imoen..."

Imoen nodded briefly before Rose smiled empathetically and left the kitchen.

"Ah, here you are," Jan greeted while Laska sat on the back-porch of Jan's house, looking over the rich-turnipgarden. "I was wondering about you. You know, my aunt and aunt were having a sisterly feud once. They wouldn't speak anymore and they had my uncle act as a go-between. Unfortunately, they were both horrible chatterboxes, and the feud didn't keep them from relaying the latest gossip and stuff through my uncle. This went on for twenty years... and well, uncle Hibbert did see the giant meteor was going to land on top of them and could have warned his sisters, but he really didn't care anymore and just wanted his torment to end, you see? So, they buried them all next to each other, with my uncle in the middle. But something apparently went on in the grave, because the skeleton of my uncle jumped from his grave screaming 'no more, NO MORE!' two centuries later and ran like hell. Point being, always talk to each other, even when nobody wants to hear."

"Irenicus broke me," Laska said. "I've tried to deny that for so long now, but it's true. You know that he once severed both my legs under the knee and then magically re-attached them? Here I was, a carefree elf, used to roaming around the countryside, thinking nothing could ever happen to me. But then I suddenly wake up in a lab with knives sticking from my skin while a mutilated figure is cutting off both my legs!! I still feel the saw slicing through my flesh and bone..." Laska shuddered.

"Touch luck," Jan said. "You know, my uncle once..."

"Imoen... he never broke her. She was strong and defiant while I lay on his operating table begging and screaming like a little girl!!" Laska roared, them calmed down again. "The scars on my legs and body are all gone now... Elven regeneration... But sometimes I still feel them. Viconia was right... I was afraid to face him. But not anymore. I'll take a lesson from Imoen and be defiant! I want to see him beg and SCREAM when I cut off HIS legs!" she snarled, her chest rising up and down as fury coursed through her veins.

"Make up with Imoen," Jan said. "That's your first priority. But, there's a boat trip coming. Lotsa opportunity to talk... and neither you can run away on a boat, either." Jan winked.

"Yeah, you're right," Laska said. "I've been a real idiot..."

"Well, we can't do anything about it now," Jan said. "Say, now that you're here, you think you can help with to fix my new invention?"

"Sure," Laska said and followed Jan. "What is it?"

"Well," Jan said, "here it is!" he said and pointed to a large black barrel supported on a wooden block with wheels.

"Jan," Laska said, "that's a cannon. That's already been invented."

"No, no, no," Jan grinned. "This is my perfected cannon, especially made to fire turnip-shells and confetti. You see, when you fire that at your enemies, and they fire confetti back, both warring sides might just say 'Hey! this war sucks, let's make a party instead!' and run up to each other and party and forget all about silly war."

"Sounds good to me," Laska said. "What's the problem?"

"Well, I don't use gunpowder," Jan said. "Instead, I've put in a plate on a spring. But for some reason, it won't fire anymore. I think it's jammed. You have better eyes that I have, and you're taller. Maybe you could take a look?"

"Let's have a look then," Laska said and looked inside, sliding her upper body into the cannon, then slipping inside entirely. "Oh, here it is," her voice sounded hollow from within the barrel. "It's just jammed behind this piece of turnip-shell here. Let me take it out."

"NO, wait!" Jan said. "I haven't secured the spring yet!"

"UUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa....." sounded off into the distance when the elf shot from the cannon and over the city with tremendous speed.

"Oh, no!" Jan cried. "FLAP YOUR ARMS! No, no, harder, you're going down!! Oh, I can't look..."

"What the..." Keldorn said as he emerged from the building, saw the flying elf, then turned his ire to Jan. "JAN! You're a horrible little man, WHAT ARE YOU?!"

"Ermm," Jan gulped, "I'm a horrible little man, Sir knight."

"How could you have fired Laska from a cannon?!" Keldorn asked.

"Errmm, she wanted me to?"

"I hope she landed softly..."

"Oh, elves always land on their feet..."

"That's cats, Jan."

"Oh, in that case... she'll be pissed when she lands on something harder than a fluffy pillow."

"Come on!" Keldorn shouted, running through the little streets with Jan, trying to trace where Laska had landed. They ended up standing in front of a beer-brewery which seemed to have a large and recently made hole in the roof. In front of it stood a burly man who shouted at some of the guards.

"What's going on here?" Keldorn asked.

"Oh, Sir Keldorn," one of the guards greeted, "this beerbrewer says that suddenly some elf-girl slammed through the roof and landed in one of the main beervats and refuses to come out."

Jan nodded. "She probably thinks she's in heaven."

"Aye," Keldorn said. "She'll be alright for now."

"Hey, I was right. I said she'd be pissed when landing, I just figured it wouldn't be in this way."

"Shut up, Jansen."