Laska closed her eyes and let the water trinkle over her face as she melted into the stream. The water warmed her face and body... Now where was that shampoo?

While soaping in her long hair, Laska considered that this first Jansen/Dynaheir MagiTech-coalition really worked well... though it was not what this magical machine had been intended to. Looking up, she saw the large orb which was the source of the trinkling water. The orb was the miniature prototype of a rainmaking device... the first problem to tackle, however, was to make an orb large enough to cover a whole nation... and the second problem to tackle was to get it into the air and keep it up there.

Still, while Jan and Dynaheir were moping, Imoen had found a good use for a magical orb which was permanently filled with magical water. Immediately, Jan had put in a temperature regulator, and constructed a curtain around the object.

Laska really liked this new 'JansDyna CleanWaterSpurter', and was thinking about having one installed in her bathroom at the house. Still, she had the latent fear of being sliced, diced, electrocuted and exploded.... it was a Jansen invention, after all.

After rinsing the shampoo from her hair, Laska stepped from the CleanWaterSpurter and grabbed a towel. She dried herself briefly, then wrapped the towel around her hair, rubbing it gently while walking over to the wooden chair where her clothes lay. Discarding the towel, she slipped into her tight-fitting black leather pants, which had been carefully cleaned and oiled by the inn's staff. The leather was, once again, soft and flexible, something Laska really appreciated.

Then, she grabbed her belt from the chair and wrapped it around her waist, through the little laces of her pants. Grinning, she walked over to the cupboard and took four throwing daggers in two hands and sheathed them on her belt in one swift move.

Then, she took her vest, but, for the party, she took one which was a bit neater. Her 'dress-vest' as Viconia called it, was black and made from velvet, with all kinds of gold-colored embroidered patterns at the edges. The elf put on the vest and jerked on the laces to pull it together. Thinking how comfortable the velvet felt on her skin, she bent down and took her freshly shined boots.

A knock sounded on the door. "Is the CleanWaterSpurter, ready?" Laska heard Dynaheir say from the other side of the door.

"Almost!" Laska called back as she put on the boots and took a moment to adjust her vest. A sly grinned crossed her features. Now, she only needed Imoen to magically dry and braid her hair and she'd be ready for the party. Now, I hope there's plenty of booze....

No booze in sight at all! Laska grimaced as she and her friends entered the gathering of nobles and commoners in the ballroom in Lord Coprith's house. She knew that this would be a long, long party...

"Your hair smells good," Rose smiled as she stood next to Laska. Rose, strangely enough, wasn't wearing any dresses but the same blue pantsuit she had bought in the marketplace of Trademeet last week. It was a new look for her, and Laska didn't mind the change at all. In fact, it brought out the half-elf's natural beauty all the more.

"Are you implying," Laska smiled and playfully wrapped an arm around her lover's waist and pulled her toward her, "that my hair usually stinks?"

"Trust me, Las," Rose chuckled, took Laska's braid in one hand and tickled Laska's nose with the tip, "Caked orc-blood and troll entrails leave a lingering smell."

"Hey, I wash my hair everyday!"

"Try washing it with shampoo sometimes," there was a glint of humor in Rose's eyes.

"Tease," Laska said and kissed the tip of Rose's nose.

"Careful or I'll bite your ears," Rose grinned.

"Oh, is that a promise?" Laska smiled in return.

"OY!" Korgan roared. "Stop makin' me hurl already!" Korgan was wearing a polished armor and had, (gasp), even cleaned his beard for the occasion.

"Okay, okay," Laska said, then turned to Keldorn and Minsc. "So, I see you two gents have left your puffy pants behind."

"Yes," Keldorn said while looking at his armor, polished to shine. "I do not care much for the, ahum, fashion of Amnish nobles at the moment. Especially the color-scheme yellow-purple which is popular at the moment. Fashion has already claimed my wife and daughters, sadly..."

"Yes," Minsc said. "That yellow-purple dress Vesper wore quite upset Boo. Minsc is happy that there are no puffy pants that fit Minsc or Boo would be very, very angry."

Dynaheir had already mingled and was talking to some of the noble-ladies of Trademeet... and she was looking quite bored to death. Laska could swear she was looking wistfully at a pair of decorative swords. In her mind, Dynaheir had chopped the two giggling noblewomen to bits already.

Jan was off in some corner talking to some of the men. Laska could swear that the men were looking wistfully at the same decorative swords too, apparently with the same wishdream.

For a moment, Dynaheir's gaze locked with those of the men, as if they were fighting mentally for the right to mentally use the swords to mentally slaughter their assailants.

Viconia and Imoen were the last to enter the lavishly decorated ball-room, one with silken drapes and expensive paintings on the wall. Viconia was wearing her Red Dragon Scale and strode across the room as if she owned the place. One step behind her walked Imoen, ridiculing Viconia by miming her stride. Apparently, Viconia noticed and turned her head around to stare down Imoen with a poisonous glare. Imoen just giggled and ruffled Viconia's hair while the Drow protested by swearing loudly.

"Hey, guys," Imoen chuckled. "Great fun! So... where's the free food?"

"A ceremony honoring a Drow," Viconia grinned. "That I'd live to see that day."

"I see you took your swords with you," Imoen said, pointing at the dual-scabbard strapped on Laska's back.

"Yeah," Laska said, "I didn't want to wear my armor here, but I did want to show that I'm a warrior."

A few more people entered, one of whom being Lord Coprith, apparently wearing his best clothes. Immediately, the man clapped his hands and the room fell silent. Slowly, the occupants of the room gathered in front, where Coprith turned to them, and the party.

"Citizens of Trademeet!" He announced cheerfully.

"Och, original opening," Korgan muttered.

"We are gathered here today to honor the heroes of our small town, led by the Lady Laska Leafwalker," Coprith continued.

"Lady," Laska blushed a little.

"They have not only stopped the assault of nature upon us by removing the evil druid that had taken over our local grove, but have also spared us from the recent domination of the genies."

"The genies weren't THAT dangerous," Imoen whispered.

"These are rich folk," Viconia said. "They're not used to much."

" You are once again free to walk the streets of Trademeet, and new caravans have already been hired to bring supplies to our local merchants. It is good to know that even though we do not have our beloved Waukeen looking out for us, we still have people like this who we can turn to in a time of need!"

"Laying it on a bit thick, wouldn't thou agree?" Dynaheir muttered.

"But Minsc and Boo are great heroes!"

"From this day forth, I declare that these companions be known as the Heroes of Trademeet! Their likenesses shall be displayed on the fountain forever more!"

"What?" Keldorn suddenly said. "Statues?! I don't recall giving permission for that."

But Keldorn's voice was drowned out by the number of cheers and applause from the crowd of gathered nobles.

"Oh, geez," Imoen blushed.

"'Aww, shucks'," Viconia mocked. "Face it, Imoen, you are loving every moment of this adoration."

"What, and you aren't?" Imoen retorted. "It's nice to be the center of attention."

"You will always be welcome here," Coprith smiled. "Obviously, you are deserving of your glowing reputation as a true hero. May the gods smile on your journeys."

"Any more praise and our heads will no longer fit in the room," Jan said. "They'd swell up and we'll crash straight through the bloody roof! Probably off on a trip around the world, but with our luck, we'll probably land on an island filled with cannibals and lions and tigers and bears!"

The roar of the crowd was so overwhelming that Laska grimaced for a moment before adjusting her own hearing enough to let the sounds flow into the background noise. Also, she heard a man approach.

"Greetings, Lady Laska," the man greeted cheerfully. "I am Lord Skarmaen Alibakkar, and it is my family that founded Trademeet..."

At that time, Laska turned around... and gasped... A gasp soon turned into a snarl... a snarl into murderous rage.

The scrawny man was thin enough to be wearing the armor that he was : a green armor, of intricate elven design. Armor-chinks that interlocked perfectly, resembling a simple green shirt, but giving enormous protection. Laska had been raised by humans, but had learned so much about elven lore that she recognized the armor at a first glance : Elven chainmail.

Around her, everybody was wondering what was going on, but collective gasps sounded when Laska drew her moonblade and pointed it at Alibakkar's throat. "That armor," Laska snarled, a fire flashing in her eyes, "belongs to my people. To the People. Entullye manille caele en Tel'Quessir, n'taurn!¹⁾" There was no excuse for this vile theft. Elven chainmails were unique symbols of her people, no elf would part willingly with such items... And an elf has had to die to give Alibakkar an item to use as a conversation-piece.

"I... I don't..." Alibakkar gulped, while his guards were uncertain how to proceed.

"The armor!" Laska snarled. "Elves do not part with elven chainmails just like that!"

"I... I paid quite a bit for it and..."

"N'taurn N'Shanesti!²⁾" Laska shouted. "No elf would sell such a thing! You must have killed the poor elf who owned it."

"No, no!" Alibakkar shouted. "It... I... I... bought it from a man who... said he'd bought it from an elf! I... I didn't know."

"Laska," Keldorn said. "You cannot cut a man down for wearing an armor..."

"I don't believe Alibakkar," Laska shot at Keldorn before returning to face Alibakkar. "I think you killed the previous owner to get the armor!"

"No," Alibakkar gasped, now feeling the tip of Ipsiya press against his throat.

"Yes, yes!" one female noble cried over the murmurs. "Kill him, dear Lady, KILL HIM!"

"Please!" Coprith said and jumped from the podium. "Can't we solve this issue peacefully?"

'*I can sense it from the armor itself* Ipsiya said. *The previous owner came to a violent end... her body was looted...*

"Any more excuses?" Laska snarled. "And any more words before I spill your guts right over the floor?" she mock-threatened.

"Las, don't," Rose said from the side.

"I have to!" Laska said. "If he hasn't killed her himself, he has had her killed!"

"Excuse me," Alibakkar suddenly spoke. "Did you say 'her'?"

"Yes," Laska said. "Don't you know? You're wearing the female model."

"WHAT?!" Alibakkar shouted out. "I... I've been wearing... women's clothing?!"

Around him, the crowd's murmurs... turned into snickers. Alibakkar gulped, then turned to Laska.

"I will not be ridiculed! You shall have your armor, wench!" Alibakkar snarled and walked away, his hatred of ridicule being bigger than his fear of being viciously slaughtered by an angry elf.

"That was tense," Coprith said. "I am happy this could be solved peacefully, though. Shall we continue with the party?"

"Beautiful," Laska said with bated breath as she stood in front of the mirror in her room. She was dressed in the elven chain, her belt and scabbards being the only accessories. The armor fit her like a glove and was almost skin-tight, covering most of her body except feet, hands and face. The green would make her blend into the woods even more. The armor was adorned with all kinds of elven symbols and artworks, lovingly applied to the armor by master smiths.

And, for the first time in her life, Laska wore a helmet. Laska had negative experiences with helmets before, mostly due to the fact that her ears never quite fit inside them, and when her ears did fit, the helmet was usually too large.

But this helmet, adorned with the same elven symbols as the armor was, has special slots for the ears, which offered enough protection, yet didn't impede her hearing in any way. Her hair, tied in a long braid, exited the helmet from a hole in the back, allowing her long dark hair to wave freely during combat. Still, the helmet was small enough not to impede her sight either, and left the face completely free.

"Are you sure the elf who was killed for it doesn't mind?" Laska asked.

*No. She was from a long line of warriors and she'd be happy to know that her armor would not be used by some human mage who didn't earn it, but just paid money to own that armor. You defended her honor well, Laska.*

"And how do you know that, Ip?" Laska snorted.

*Hey, hey, hey, I am more than just a sword, Laska. I am a LADY!*

"Sure," Laska snorted and drew her Moonblade, her blue grow oddly clashing with her green armor. "It's so light..." Laska said and jumped in the said, did a somersault and landed on the same spot she was standing just a second ago. "Perfect..."

*Great... So you'll get me dizzy more time now, eh.*

"You bet," Laska grinned. "You know, with my new connection to nature... you... and now this armor. I really starting to get the feeling that, when I stare into the mirror, there's actually a real elf looking back at me..."

Having locked the armor in the trunk at the inn, and having switched back to her leather pants and vest, Laska joined her friends at the grand unveiling of the statues around the fountain in the garish main square of Trademeet.

Around the fountain stood nine pedestals, on them were nine statues covered with cloth.

"Hey," Laska told Viconia when she walked up to the Drow. "Neat that they're giving us these statues here, huh?"

"For what?" Viconia snorted. "For killing a few animals and talking to druids? Heh, these people aren't used to hardship of any kind."

"Ah, welcome to the unveiling of the statues! Images of heroes that will stand the test of time!" Rubens, the mage-artist of Trademeet cheerfully announced. "So, with no further a-do..."

In a magical flash, the cloth was pulled from the statues under wild cheers from the audience. When the magically-made marble statues were lit up in the sun, two things were immediately apparent. First of all, they were brandishing their weapons and were standing in an obvious battle-stance. Second of all...

"Sweet Torm!" Keldorn said, completely aghast. "They're nudes!"

"Boo!" Minsc shouted when noticing the little marble hamster on the statue-Minsc's shoulders. "Boo, you have no fur!"

"Yes, indeed!" Rubens smiled. "They make you look strong, yet vulnerable! For even heroes are mortals."

"Nice," Laska said as she appraised her own statue. "You've got all my tattoos right... and my braid!"

"Oh, geez," Imoen said, while she and Dynaheir instantly crossed their arms over their chests whenever one of the people glanced at their statues.

Even the spider Khittix was awarded with a statue, right between the statues of Viconia and Keldorn. The real spider was seemingly quite happy with the result, skittering between the audience to get a look from different directions.

"They're very life-like," Laska grinned. "Very detailed.

"Yes," Rose displayed a sultry smile. "A perfect likeness."

"Dear gods!" Keldorn said. "A statue is bad enough, but... THIS!"

"What's the matter?" Imoen said. "You don't like it? And STOP STARING AT MY STATUE'S CHEST!" she suddenly shouted at a group of teenage boys standing in the corner.

"This... this kind of detailed realism," Keldorn said. "You can see every scar in every battle I've ever fought!"

"Och!" Korgan suddenly snarled. "But it ain't be realistic enough, blasted bloody..."

"What dost thou mean?" Dynaheir said.

"Blind wench, do I be needin' to spell it out fer ye?!"

"The statues don't have any," Imoen said, blushing slightly, "ahum, parts."

"Ah, yes," Rubens sighed mournfully. "Coprith told me to be considerate to the children of the town... and their parents. You should have seen the angry crowds out for my blood after I made a tile-mosaic in the floor of the market-square which I called 'Wild Orgy in the Underdark'.

"Hmmm," Viconia said. "I wonder if it had any realism."

"Very much so," Rubens smiled. "I'd interviewed the Drow involved personally... well, the Drow that survived, anyway. When the town didn't want it, they took it with them back into the Underdark. They were quite nice about it, I think they were actually flattered to be depicted in an artwork... But that one called Phaere kept staring holes into my skull."

"I, for one, am happy with that one lack of realism," Keldorn said. "Though this statue shows more than I... IMOEN, stop trying to look at my statue's bum!"

"I was just wondering if it was scarred too," Imoen said sheepishly. "My statue's is nice and round, though."

"Ach!" Korgan roared. "It donnae help that me beard be covering up just about everything normally... I still be feelin'."

"Rather emasculated?" Imoen asked.

"Donnae be usin' that word!" Korgan said as he and several of the men cringed.

"Well, our statues don't have any parts either," Laska said, "so I guess we're even."

"It's a rather extreme form of family-planning," Jan said. "Not many gnomes would be willing to go that far. Well, except maybe my great-uncle Susan, but he was weird to begin with."

"It's... new," Dynaheir said. "What dost thou think, Viconia?"

"It's an outrage," Viconia said.

"I'd expect you to like the statue, Vic," Imoen grinned.

"I do like the statue... but not the color! It makes me look like a surface-elf!" Viconia snarled.

"Hey, that's not so bad," Laska smiled and walked to her own statue to lay her hands on the marble. "Now, this is how a warrior's body should be like. Beautiful, yet strong," she said while running her hands over the just slightly muscle leg of her statue. "Feminine, yet battle-ready. Oh, yes, I like this statue. This is how a woman warrior should be like..."

"Geez," Imoen snorted. "Could your head get any bigger? It's already blocked my view of the sun. I like my statue too, Big-ears, but I'm not caressing it."

"Oh, sorry," Laska blushed a little and withdrew.

"Ah, more satisfied customers," Rubens smiled and walked away while being loudly applauded. One person broke loose from the crowd. She was garishly dressed middle-age woman wearing a sultry smile and a long red dress. She flipped her dyed red hair a moment before approaching Laska, and spoke with a throaty voice.

"Greetings, heroes," the Lady spoke.

"Please, madam," Keldorn blushed when he noticed the Lady's eyes roaming over his statue.

"I am Lady Lilith Lurraxol, the head of the noble family that founded this town long, long ago. I am pleased to make your acquaintance," she greeted and looked Laska straight in the eye.

"My, a friendly noble," Imoen chuckled. "You must want something from us."

Lilith, however, ignored Imoen and focused her attention on the tattooed elf standing in front of her. "You did quite a number on my rival Alibakkar... Yes, I enjoyed that. Pity you didn't kill him."

"I gather you don't like him very much," Laska replied.

"That," Lilith chuckled, "is an understatement. Please... if you are interested in the reward for performing... a task, do come and speak to me at my mansion. I look forward to seeing you there."

That said, the Lady was off...

"Well," Imoen said. "I wonder when people will stop offering us work when we're just walking on the streets."

Elven Phrases:
1. Return what you have stolen from the elves, filth!
2. Filthy elf-hater!