"Well, about time you two got home," Viconia looked up from reading her book as she sat on the couch, and Rose and Laska entered their home.

"Only three days," Laska smiled as she put down the empty picknick baskets, and strolled over to her giant keg of ale in the middle of the room to pour herself a nice cold cup.

"Feeling better now?" Viconia asked with disinterest, being more focused on her book.

"I'm less overwhelmed by these new feelings," Laska smiled blissfully. "And I'm still very happy..."

"So am I," Rose smiled equally blissful. "Say, love?" Rose asked. "Do you think Lasalla can get these grass-stains out of my dress..."

"Grass-stains?" Viconia smirked as she looked up from her book. "My, my, my..."

"Laska can get... impatient," Rose smirked. "If I hadn't kept my bodice untied, I would have returned home with scraps of red fabric instead of a dress..."

"So, what have you been doing for the past three days?" Viconia asked, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Oh," Laska smiled, "we had picknicks, made love, took long walks through nature, made love, followed a hiking-trail, made love, swam in a forest pond and made love in it, spied a burrow of badgers from afar, made love, watched the stars at night, made love, climbed trees, made love, picked chestnuts, made love, watched birds... Oh, yeah," Laska grinned at Rose, who winked back, "we made love...a lot."

"Sounds like a lovely trip," Viconia chuckled.

"What are you reading?" Rose asked.

Laska, however, didn't bother to ask and snatched the thick book right from the Drow's slender hands. After hearing an impressive array of Drow obscenities, Laska read the title out loud. "1001 Children's Stories from all over Toril?"

"I've exhausted my repertoire at the orphanage," Viconia admitted, running her hands through her mane, so that oceans of white hair fell across her shoulders. "I need to memorize new tales."

"Nice," Laska smirked. "This will completely ruin your reputation of Evil Drowness..."

"That was pretty much shot to hell already," Viconia chuckled. "I've been travelling with an elf for over a year now, and I haven't attempted to kill her even once..."

A knock at the door sounded, and shadows that could be seen through the windows.

"Ah, they're here!" Laska smiled, "and so quickly too!"

"We made a short stop before returning home," Rose smiled.

After Laska opened the door, a dozen of brown-robed druids entered Laska's home, carrying all kinds of potted plants. From conifers to bonsai-trees, from cacti to tulips, the druids put down the potted plants in the large living room to get even more potted plants still standing outside.

"What the bloody hell?!" Viconia shouted.

"I felt we need more nature in our home," Laska said, "so I visited the druids in town to buy plants. Hmmm, the paintings can stay, but I think we may need to move some sculptures around... I'd like a few hanging pots too..."

"OVER MY DEAD DROWISH AND BEAUTIFUL CORPSE!" Viconia shouted and threw down her book. "I worked my fingers to the bone to get this house into artistic shape and I'll be BUGGERED before I allow you to muck it up again!"

"Oh, calm down," Laska said, "we'll just be adding some plants here and there. I want those conifers in the pool-room, and some of those bonsais on the tables, and plenty of plants in our bedroom, right Rose?"

"OY!" Korgan shouted as he raced up the stairs. "What be goin' on 'ere? I be smellin' that stuff from downstairs. I be tellin' ye, this foliage better be vegetables!"

"Don't you feel the life radiating from those plants?" Laska smiled. "Smell the sweet scent of nature..."

"I think that's the fresh manure you're smelling, abbil."

"Oh, we're not done yet!" Laska grinned as a smiling elderly woman entered the house. The woman was small, but friendly and radiated power, enough to silence the entire group. "Shall we go to the garden?"

The garden behind Laska's mansion was big and consisted mostly of a grass-field, several flower patches, several benches, a sauna and a toolshed. Finding a suitable spot, the curious inhabitants of the mansion gathered around after the druids hat reverently marked it. Immediately, the smiling arch druid raised her arms and whispered words of power. A circle of magical light formed as the teleportation spell took form. The circle raised itself upwards and, slowly, the form of a majestic, huge and powerful ancient oak started to appear.

"Impressive," Dynaheir spoke as the oak towered over them, its branches wide, its trunk thick.

"Oh, look Boo!" Minsc smiled, showing the tree to his hamster. "A big tree for you to climb in and to jump in a pile of hay from the top!"

"Are you sure that's wise?" Rose offered.

"Boo is a very athletic hamster," Minsc smiled.

"I'll be damned..." Jan said. "A mail-order tree... Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. My uncle Roderick was an assassin, you know?"

"How does assassinations and mail-order trees fit together?" Rose asked.

"Well, he owned this mail-order company for gnomes, you see. He sold turnips of all kinds, glasses, inventions and even an assortment of gnomish erotic toys, which I won't be expanding on right now," Jan smirked. "Anyway, he had gathered quite a clientele, so he started a little business on the side, doing some assassination work for the Shadow Thieves against gnomes who had rubbed him the wrong way. He had these specially trained griffins, you see, that kept quiet until the victim opened the package and they jumped out to devour their victim whole! It worked quite well, I should say..."

"I gather uncle Roderick died?" Rose muttered.

"Yes! How did you know? Actually, he once send the griffins in the package, but accidentally didn't put enough stamps on it, so it was returned to sender. Uncle Roddy loved presents, so he didn't even have the time to recognize his own label before he ripped open the package... Poor Roddy, swallowed whole, he was... Then the griffins took over his business. Griff-bay, it's called now."

"I'm happy that you support our initiative," the arch druid told Laska.

"What initiative is that, dear druid?" Dynaheir asked.

"I'm glad you asked!" the druid smiled. "We sell plants and rely on donations so that we can buy small lots of land to create and maintain small nature parks and petting zoos. We also organize trips for children to the rural and forested areas. That way, none of the children of the city will be deprived of nature."

"Here you go," Laska said, handing the arch druid a bag filled with no less than ten thousand gold.

"I thank you humbly," the arch druid smiled.

"Wow!" Becky and Risa smiled as they twirled around the tree. "Can we have a treehouse?!" Risa shouted.

"And a swing?!" Becky added.

"Looks like we'll be buying lumber too," Viconia smirked.

Jan's design of a three-star tree hotel was presented via a model-presentation, but after the model collapsed for no reason and caught fire without even containing flammable materials, it was decided to try a more traditional design.

Laska, Minsc and the kids were hard at work. Minsc hauled the boards to the tree, and tied the boards to the strand of webbing hung there by Khittix. The spider had crawled to the top of the tree, and lifted the boards by rolling up the strand of web with his fore-legs, until Laska could grab the boards. Right now, Laska and Becky had picked up three strong branches to support the house and were hammering the floor of the treehouse.

"Laska!" Risa shouted now that her lemonade break had been interrupted. Laska looked over the edge of the new board floor to find Rose' sister jumping up and down to alert her attention.

"Laska!" Risa shouted again. "It's Sir Boring Fart!"

"Who?" Laska shouted back.

Laska jumped to the ground and walked to Risa, who explained everything quickly as they walked to the floor door, and outside, where Rose was looking red in the face from shouting at a very, very clueless paladin.

"But, my Lady," the paladin spoke, "we were meant to be together. The allseeing eye of Helm guided me to your pure and virginal vision of loveliness, and..."

Suddenly, the paladin found himself violently shoved away from the lovely half-elf by a figure that jumped between them at lightning speed. Looking back, the paladin found himself staring into the very, very, very angry eyes of a snarling elf.

"So," the elf spoke icily. "You're the bastard who's been moving in on my Rose..."

"You see?!" Rose shouted at the paladin. "I TOLD you I already had a lover!"

"Ah," the paladin said haughtily. "The cowardly knave finally dares shows his face. I, sir, am Sir Oberon ShineFast, Knight in the Order of the Most Radiant Heart..."

"His? Sir?" Laska asked.

"Oh, you do not fool me, my Lord," Oberon snarled. "Taking the illusionary shape of a woman will not deter me, nor shall I yield to your cowardice..."

"Y-you," Laska snarled, almost boiling with rage. Her teeth gritted, her eyes shone dangerously, "actually think I am a man?"

"I see through your guise," the knight spoke. "Your form is a mere illusion. Naughty, naughty, you thought Helm would not notice? Shame, shame, everyone knows your name..."

"I AM A WOMAN YOU BLOODY FOOL!" Laska shouted, fist clench and every muscle in her body trembled as waves of sheer anger rippled through them. "Haven't you noticed these two lumps on my chest usually identified with the female gender?" she added sarcastically. "Do you, perhaps need to touch them to check their authenticity?"

"HOLD IT!" Rose said, approaching Laska from behind. "There's only one person allowed to touch Laska's breasts and that is ME!" the half-elf spoke, and proceeded to embrace the elf from behind, resting a hand on both Laska's breasts. Laska in the meantime, closed her eyes and smiled dreamily, especially when she felt Rose's lips press briefly against the back of her neck.

"See?" Rose smiled smugly. "Real. There's no reason for you to stay here, so please leave me alone. I've had quite enough of stalkers during my streetwalker days..."

"I... I..." the Helmite knight stood there flabbergasted. "I see now!" he snarled. "You have used evil magics to goad my Lady into an inappropriate relationship with another woman..."

"Inappropriate!!!" Laska released a primal shout as her anger almost made her explode.

"... and to boot, you are forcing my virginal lady into a life of depravity!"

"You!" Rose shouted. "How could you say something that?!"

"Coward," the Helmite challenged and fished a glove from his pack, intending to slap it into Laska's face. "I challenge you to a dual for Lady Rose's hand in..."

SMACK!

The knight would never finish his sentence, for Laska deftly dodged the glove and repaid him with a staggering fist in the face. Jumping backwards, the knight was not out of harm's way. A high-kick from the elven warrior against his jaw sent him reeling backwards. "Wait..." the knight tried to say as he was treated to punch after punch and kick after kick "...I haven't used the glove yet!", he said while Laska pressed her foot down on his chest.

Finally, the knight lost consciousness when he felt a very, very painful crunch somewhere in his groinal area.

Sir Keldorn Firecam had just spent a wonderful time playing tea-set with his youngest daughter Vesper, though he was having trouble getting the taste of mud out of his mouth. For the occasion, Vesper had made mudcakes... out of real mud. But being the sport he was, the aged inquisitor had eaten them anyway.

Turning around the corner, he noticed a gathering of knights standing next to one of the Order flagpoles, apparently in a debate about how to... get something down?

"HELP!" sounded from the top of the flagpole, and Keldorn had a double-take. Sir Oberon ShineFast was hanging from the flagpole by his underwear. "I can't reach the floor from here and I'm getting a wedgie!!"

Keldorn couldn't suppress a snerk as he saw the knight hanging there, wearing only his 'Eye of Helm' boxers and a pair of grey socks. And he immediately knew who was responsible...

"Yes," Keldorn said as he sat on the chair, opposite to Laska and Rose who sat on the couch. "Sir Oberon ShineFast is a bit... thick."

"Only a bit?" Rose muttered.

"Actually, he's known among the Knights of the Order as 'Manure-for-Brains Oberon'," Keldorn confirmed, noticing that the two lovers had been holding hands during their entire conversation.

"It would explain his bad breath," Laska winked.

"He was actually a cousin of prelate Wesselan, but he was too... unfocused to do anything properly. So he was allowed to enter the Order through the backdoor. He skipped squiredom entirely, much to the dismay of every knight who had to struggle through that time," Keldorn said. "But that does not change anything. Unfortunately, Oberon has issued a formal challenge over Rose's hand."

Rose spoke up, in uncharacteristic anger. "I'll make my own bloody decision, thank you very much!" she said, laying her head on Laska's shoulder. "I refuse to be some prize to be fought over without any choice of my own!"

"I'm afraid the honor of the Order is at stake if the challenge does not go through," Keldorn said. "These challenges are ceremonial, and no rights can be received from them unless both parties agree, even if there is a chance that Laska will lose this challenge... But if Laska wins, you will be rid of his affections for good..."

"Okay," Laska said, pulling Rose to her, and kissing her on the top of her head, "I'll fight for her..."

Keldorn, Sir Ryan Trawl and Rose stood at the corral, at a practise jousting-range, overlooking the range from a small booth. Rose herself was as of yet standing next to Laska, as the elf, clad in her chain-mail, was preparing her horse.

"I know it's customary for a Lady to offer her champion a bit of her dress," Rose said, glancing at the blue dress she was currently wearing, "but I wanted to give you something else." She grinned and moved her hand into the cut of her dress, withdrew a garter from her leg and slid it up Laska's armored arm.

"Do not worry, my Lady!" Oberon, in his shiny Full Plate, his black eyes long healed, called over from his horse.

"Laska," Rose whispered. "Tear him to pieces!"

"Count on it," Laska winked, while Rose returned to the booth.

Sir Ryan Trawl rose from his seat. "This formal joust shall be fought over the right to woo Rose Greenhill, half-elven citizen of Athkatla, Amn. Sir Keldorn Firecam and myself shall be presiding. Take your positions, now!"

As the two warriors moved to their ends of the range, Sir Trawl, eager to see that idiot Oberon fall flat on his face, rubbed his hands. "This should be fun," Sir Trawl chuckled. "One... Two... THREE!" he announced.

Immediately, the two riders sped towards each other.

"What's she doing?" Sir Ryan Trawl said as the elf immediately threw away her lance.

"Wait for it," Sir Keldorn smiled. The elf found her balance and jumped up. Using her amazing dexterity, she ended up standing on top of the saddle as the horse sped towards Oberon. Just as Oberon's lance was in range, the elf jumped. She landed right of top of the lance and slid down on it, her fist extended. With a loud *CLANG* Oberon ended up falling from his horse while Laska pushed herself into the air with her hands, somersaulted over the fallen knight and landed on her feet.

"Impressive," Sir Trawl chuckled. The elf showed no mercy and started punching.

"Oh, dear," Keldorn looked on. "What's she doing now?"

"It looks like she's strangling him," Sir Trawl said. "What's that around his neck?"

"It looks a bit like a garter for here," Keldorn spoke.

"What's she doing?" Sir Trawl spoke. "Why did she break that lance in two? What's she planning to do with that blunt end?"

Keldorn sighed as they looked on and buried his head in his hands.

"WHOA!" Sir Trawl called out in horror. "WHAT IS SHE STICKING IT THERE FOR?!"

"You'd better let her know she's won, Ryan," Keldorn added.

"She's... she's trying him to the underside of his horse's saddle now... Oh, and the horse is off... Look at his armor! You can really see his horse has just been shod..."

"Good quality shoes too," Keldorn muttered. "Spiked Warhorse-shoes..."

"Does this mean Laska won you little game?" Rose smirked quirkily.

"You know," Rose said as she and Laska walked through the Order corral and were headed home. Laska had snaked an armored arm around Rose's waist as they walked, while Rose held her arm around Laska's neck and was playfully twirling her elven lover's hair, "your willingness to fight for me was really very romantic..."

"Hey," Laska smiled. "I'd take on the entire Amnian army for you, if you like."

"You know," Rose said as she guided the tattooed elf towards one of the stabled. "Isn't it customary that, after such challenges, the Lady is supposed to reward her champion?"

"Oh?" Laska smirked. "What do you have in mind, then?"

"There are quite a bit of haylofts about here, aren't there?" Rose smiled slyly as she broke from Laska's grasp and moved to climb up one of the wooden ladders leading up to one of the hayloft she had just mentioned.

Laska had some more trouble climbing the ladder, seeing how her chainmail was unyielding on the tiny ladder, and when she popped up and climbed onto the hayloft, she just saw Rose disappearing behind a stack of hay. A few seconds later, an empty blue dress was thrown from behind that stack and landed in the hay lying free.

"So," Rose smirked, pulling her hair loose as she peeked from behind the haystack, offering Laska a brief view of her naked shoulders, "get out of that cold armor and collect your reward."

Laska removed her armor in record time and joined her lover in the soft hay.