Laska was peacefully drifting on the edge of slumber, comfortably lying in her soft bed, in a state between the real world and that of the realm of dreams.

That is, until a strange odor assaulted her sensitive elven nose. Crumpling her face, she instinctively pushed her head under her pillow, trying to block it out. But then came the sounds. The ground shook as something thumped down on the floor, and to Laska's sensitive elven ears it sounded as if someone was hammering on an anvil right next to her.

Groggily forcing herself to wake up, the elf hauled herself out of bed. Rubbing her eyes, she quickly tossed on her pants and vest and opened the door to the main hall, stepped outside... and slammed into a huge grey lump, knocking her backwards.

After getting up, rubbing her tired eyes for the second time, she gasped as she recognized the huge grey creature from the pictures she had once seen in books at Candlekeep.

It was an elephant. There was an elephant walking around in her living room.

And next to that elephant stood Jan... Figures, Laska thought.

In the meantime, it seemed the huge trunked creature had already woken others in the house too. Already, Risa and Becky were running around the huge elephant, whooping in joy at the strange creature, which, in turn, seemed to be rather enjoying the attention.

Opposite to the hallway, Viconia opened the door to her room, wearily rubbing the salt from her eyes. But as soon as she regarded the huge creature, she shook her head. "I'm going back to bed," she muttered, walked back into her room and closed the door behind her.

"What's going on?" Laska heard Rose ask behind her. Turning around Laska saw her standing in the door opening, still being rather sleepy and only wearing a sheet wrapped around her body.

"You'd better go back to bed, Rose," Laska muttered. "I have a gnome to deal with..."

"'kay," Rose muttered, still to groggy to take note of the elephant now standing in the back of the room, and closed the door to the bedroom.

A shrill shriek sounded from the other side of the room. Lasalla regarded the elephant in fear, before her eyes rolled in the back of her head, and she fainted.

"Oh, great!" Laska muttered, strolled over to Lasalla, picked her up and put her on a small bench in the kitchen, before returning to the living room, thinking of a thousand and one ways to kill Jan with a potato-knife on the way back. She found the kids still playing with the elephant, and Jaella had apparently joined them.

"Jan!" Laska shouted, attracting the attention of the gnome.

"Ah, Lasky!" Jan greeted her cheerfully. "Hey, I just brought over my cousin Beeloo's pet elephant! Beeloo had to go out unexpectedly and couldn't find a sitter and, well, it was my turn. Since we're all going to the joust anyway, Drufus might as well stay here for the day. Thanks! I know you wouldn't mind!" Jan smiled, while walking towards the door. "Must be going! See you at the joust!"

"HOLD IT!" Laska shouted, grabbing the fleeing gnome at the collar and yanking him back. And then she first noticed the state of her living room. "What?! What happened to all my furniture?! The dinner-table?! The piano?! The vases?! The small tables?! The paintings?! My giant keg of ale!!!"

"Oh," Jan grinned, "I slipped those in your Bag of Holding for the time being. That's how I got Drufus in your house in the first place."

"My Bag of Holding?" Laska asked, still not letting go of Jan. "But I always stash that one in a secret place. In..."

"... the secret compartment behind the painting hanging over the nightstand of your bed," Jan spoke. "I snuck into your bedroom last night and borrowed it. I figured you wouldn't mind much..."

"You snuck into my bedroom?" Laska muttered in disbelief. "While Rose and I were in there too? Come ON! I would have heard you!"

"Ah, you are underestimating my stealthy feet! Besides, the two of you were sleeping like babies," Jan said, but noticing the look of pure poison in Laska's eyes, he decided he should add an apologetic comment. "Hey, hey, hey! Don't look at me like that! I didn't peek! Errr, not long anyway..."

"Jan!" Laska snarled, finally releasing Jan's collar. "You are... ACK! Look what that elephant just left on the carpet!"

Jan, grateful for the change of subject, moved to examine the huge pile of steaming... waste. "Hey, don't talk down to elephant-dung, Laska. You should know better! When the ancient Drow were still jungle-dwellers, they used to make houses out of elephant-dung. Entire cities were constructed..."

"Jan," Laska smirked. "I wouldn't say that, if I were you. Viconia has even better ears that I have..."

"Ah, I see you point," Jan grinned uneasily. "But there have always been elephants in the Jansen family history. My great-great great-uncle Hannibal Jansen crossed the Cloudpeak-mountains with his army and twelve war-elephants. He was attempting to siege the village of Nashkel to capture their collection of crackers. They had these rare cucumber-crackers which are great with a slice of turnips on them, you see? After a two year trip through the Cloudpeaks..."

"Two years?" Laska asked.

"Yeah, well," Jan muttered. "Hannibal had held put the map upside down, took a couple of wrong turns, slid off the mountains a couple of times. The usual... Anyway, they finally arrived at the town of Nashkel, and the warehouse where the crackers were stored was found. But, sadly, just before Hannibal could give the order to attack, a little mouse scurried through the high grass. Needless to say, the elephants were spooked, panicked and fled into all directions, trampling Hannibal and his army of hungry gnomes, thus leaving a thousand turnips crackerless. The elephants were all hired by a vineyard, I believe, and are now stomping grapes on an executive's salary. Ah, but that's not the only story! My cousin John Hurt Jansen's condition was actually the result of a bizarre magical experiment involving an elephant, a plastic spoon and a dirty hankerchief, accidentally replacing his own stylish gnomish nose with the trunk of the elephant. And that is how cousin John Hurt got to be known as the 'Elephant Gnome'. He was fun to have around parties. He could snort up a whole bowl of turnip-beer and spray it over the guests, and suck up WHOLE turnips through his nose. In fact, he used to say 'I am NOT an animal!' just after he had scratched his own rear-end with his nose. Sadly, the elephant wanted his nose back and threatened to sue, so we tied cousin John Hurt to his stump of a trunk and the two lived in symbiosis for two decades until John Hurt was sucked down the gob of a lake-griffin while he was drinking. The elephant died of grief shortly afterwards," Jan sniffed. "So can Drufus stay? He's been trained as a watch-elephant, so he can keep the place safe while we are gone."

"Alright," Laska sighed. "We need to get going anyway. But I want this elephant gone and my furniture replaced when we get back!"

"I know you wouldn't let me down, oh benevolent elven lady!" Jan smiled.

"And you will clean up that mess," Laska snarled, pointing at the steaming pile of elephant dung. "And don't let me catch you trying to sweep it under the rug!"

"Will do!" Jan smiled. "Oh, I need to warn Minsc before he wakes up. If Drufus sees Boo he'll mistake him for a mouse, panic and tear down the house!"

The annual joust was held just outside the city, and was crawling with all manner of tourists and citydwellers. The joust, aside from giving the best paladins of the Order the chance to show off in front of a crowd, was also a major source of income not only for the Order, but also a numerous amount of charities connected to the ideals of the Order. A multitude of tents and makeshift stables were built around a large jousting and combat ring. To the other side of the ring, build in a semi-circle, were the high stadium-like benches, giving seats to an enormous amount of people. And in that sea of people, sitting right in front of the ring were Laska and her friends, having been given the best seats in the house by their insider from the Order. The presentation of the newest Knights, including former squires Gurgan and Elotta, had been first on the agenda, but now, the ring was being prepared for the first jousting match.

On the very first bench sat Dynaheir, Korgan, Lissa, Jan and Viconia, in that order. Dynaheir was wearing a strange hat, one of Jan's inventions, while Korgan was looking rather bored. Jan, in the meantime, did everything he could not to be noticed by the tattooed elf on the bench just above them, while Viconia, wearing her hooded cloak to be on the safe side, had deliberately chosen for the seat at the aisle in case she needed to leave in a hurry. And, next to her seat and in the aisle, sat Khittix, happily chirping whenever Viconia tickled him between the eyes, and ready to defend his mistress should the need arise.

"So," Jan asked Viconia. "You think Laska will stay mad at me for long?"

"I do not think so," Viconia retorted. "Laska has an extremely high-breaking point in matters concerning a friend, but A) you should have told her in advance you were bringing that elephant and B) you should never have touched her giant keg of ale."

"Point taken," Jan muttered.

"Why did you join us, Korgan?" Lissa asked the dwarf sitting next to her. "I thought you hated paladins and horses?"

"Aye, aye, lass, I do," Korgan chuckled. "'orses be more to the taste of the wee bairns, but I be just waitin' fer one o'those paladins ta be fallin' of their 'orse and be dragged all over the compound while being trampled under 'ooves! Har HAR! That be great fun ta see, no?"

"You are full of anger, are you not?" Lissa asked.

"Lass, ye be 'avin' no idea how angry this dwarf can get," Korgan chuckled.

In the row directly above them sat Lasalla and the kids, Minsc, Rose and Laska. Keldorn was standing in the aisle next to Laska, quietly chatting.

"Imagine that!" Keldorn gasped. "Finding an elephant in your backyard!"

"No, it was in my living-room," Laska muttered.

"I can't believe I didn't notice it at first!" Rose chuckled to herself. "But it was a very sweet elephant. He let me and the kids ride on his back..."

"Through my living room," Laska grimaced. "But Keldorn, I've been noticing the symbol of the Delryn Trading Coster appearing on every crate here. It's been only two days since we left Anomen and Moira to build up their business."

"Oh, yes," Keldorn smiled. "Our regular supplier had pulled out and let us down at the last moment, so we were really desperate. But fortunately, Moira knew some addresses where she could find non-stolen goods quickly and delivered at record-speed. I tell you, that woman is a shrewd merchant... Anyway," Keldorn said, "I hope you will enjoy the joust. This is the first time female paladins are allowed to enter the match as well. Three of the fifteen combatants are women."

"But why is this the first time female paladins are allowed to enter?" Rose asked. "There've been female paladins for such long a time already."

"Tradition mostly," Keldorn replied. "But currently, over one third of the knights of the Order are female, and they have become a very vocal group over the last decade. In fact, they demanded that women were allowed to compete. The prelate gave in immediately, mostly because the female paladin making the demand for women to compete was his own wife."

"Poppycock!" sounded from one bench behind Laska. The voice came from a greasy man, holding a pin of ale in one hand and a fat bratwurst in the other. "Jousting is a sport of kings! A sport only suited for men of steel! No sissy woman should be allowed to enter this competition. Only manly men!"

"You mean, men like you?" Laska snorted, pointing at the greasy man's huge beerbelly.

"Yeah!" the man said, taking a bite from his sausage. "Like me!"

Keldorn shook his head, knowing that if the man kept talking like that in Laska's direction, he could end up seriously injured, but somehow, the aged paladin didn't care much for the man's safety. Instead, he nodded to his friends, wished them a good day, and walked unto the field.

"What's that thing Dynaheir has on her head?" Rose finally asked Laska as she finished another bite of her 'popped corn', a tasty treat discovered when Eduardo Jansen was hauling grain in his flying ship and accidentally dropped one of the bags down the chimney of a local smith, and which was now one of the major money-makers of this entire event.

Laska glanced over to Dynaheir, who was wearing a hardhat with two miniature alekegs attached to it. Two little tubes left each keg and ended up inside Dynaheir's mouth.

"Oh, that's Jan's beerhat," Laska smiled.

"I thought you would be interested in such an invention," Rose replied with a smile.

"Just give me a traditional mug, cup or tankard, thank you very much," Laska smiled. "At least they don't have a chance of exploding in your face..."

In the middle of the day, through the now very quiet streets of Athkatla, a group of five villainous gnomes made their way to the temple district. The place was as quiet as a mouse, every cleric and paladin was attending the festivities outside the city, so the gnomes had free reign. Vaelag, leader of this little band, had finally decided to strike. He and his henchmen would hide in the elven bitch's house until they come home, and surprise everyone as they did. Oh, he was going to enjoy the look of fear on Jan's face when he'd slit his throat personally. Then, he would take his wife and child home, planning to teach them a lesson for betraying him. A lesson that would never make them forget that he owned them, body and soul.

They stood in front of Laska's house, and his spies had already confirmed the front door was heavily trapped. Fortunately, one of his henchman noticed an open window on the second floor and side of the house. One of his men would launch a grappling hook and enter the house, and would disable the traps and the open the door for them. At least, that was the plan.

As soon as the henchmen had climbed through the little window, the agonizing wait began. Were there more traps? Would they have to send in another henchmen. In any case, the gnomes decided to wait a while longer... until they heard the terrified scream of their companion inside.

"What are they doing to him?" Vaelag hissed.

"I don't know," his lieutenant replied. "But I think it sounds like he is being twirled through the air!"

As soon as the words left the lieutenant's mouth, their companion came flying through one of the stain-glass windows lining the side of the door with dazzling speed. He screamed as he crashed into the temple of Lathander on the other side of the aqueduct with an audible crack. Soon enough, from inside the house came the howl of a terrible beast.

The lieutenant could not resist his curiosity and glanced through the now open window.

"What?!" Vaelag demanded as the sounds of heavy feet came ever towards them. "What's in there?!"

"E... e... e. ele... elep... ELEPHANT!" the gnome shouted as the hulking grey mammal made his own passage through the front door of Laska's house, tossing boards and bricks aside. With one last blow through his trunk, Drufus, the faithful watch-elephant, started to chase the screaming gnomes.

The crowd gasped in horror as a knight was knocked from his horse and fell down, only to be caught in the stirrups and ended up being dragged through the compound, over rocks and metal rods. The whole crowd fell silent, save for one dwarf in the front, who was laughing like crazy.

"Ouch," Laska snorted. "That'll leave a mark!"

But the audience would soon cheer at the winner of this match, who was clearly the favorite of the championships : Lady Isabella Trarr. A regal paladin in ornate full plate with fiery red hair tied in a long pony-tail. The mother of the former squire Elotta was almost sure to win this tournament according to many.

But there were still two knights left who were competing against her. The first one, wearing a helm and a black splint-mail, rode up from behind the tents and strolled his horse across the booth where several maidens were sitting, eagerly awaiting to be picked by the knight, so that he would joust in their favor.

"Shouldn't there be a booth with boys sitting on the other side of the girls' booth?" Laska muttered. "I mean, now that the female paladins are allowed to compete..."

"I guess they didn't want to go that far with breaking the tradition," Rose suggested.

"Still, what kind of brainless girl would lend herself to be fawned over by a sexually repressed knight?" Laska snorted.

"Well," Rose suddenly blushed, a rare occurrence. "I was in that bench once, Laska... I was... actually picked by the winner... and deflowered by her later that night..."

"Oopps," Laska muttered. "Sorry. I need some time to extract my foot from my mouth..."

"S'okay," Rose smiled, recovering from her blush. "Anyway I used to come back to these jousts a lot. To, ahum, console the paladin who came in last of the bunch. Paladins tend to get very guilty about the whole thing, and thus overpay enormously, more than enough to support myself for the rent and food for over a month. I used to love those times... I used to spend that time drawing and painting..."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Laska replied, her eyes wide in surprise. "You mean, those paintings you have hanging in your new home were painted by you yourself? Why did you never tell me?"

"Why, miss Leafwalker," Rose smirked. "I cannot be expected to reveal ALL my secrets now, can I? You're just going to have to find out for yourself..."

"I intend to," Laska smiled. "I just hope those sexually represses knights treated you well. Otherwise I might be tempted to look them up..."

"Oh, those knights were surprisingly gentle. Not at all like the Lords and Ladies of the noble houses that came to me. I don't know what makes the local nobility so perverse. Brianna always told me it was something in the water," Rose smiled at Laska and promptly blushed for a second time. "But you, miss Leafwalker, are by far the most gentle lover I have ever had..."

"Err, no, no!" Laska suddenly blushed. "I'm.. I'm rough! I'm... I'm vicious! I'm... I'm... I've got a reputation to uphold, you know?!"

Rose chuckled. "Oh, you may talk big, Laska, but I know better. As for your roughness, well, I doubt you would have taken in Risa, Becky and Lasalla in your own home if you didn't care. I doubt you would have tried to convince me to turn my life around and help my friends in the process. Face it, Laska, you have a big heart... And under all that bravado, roughness and assertiveness, there a soft and gentle person..."

"Don't say it..." Laska sighed, holding her hands over her ears, an abysmal attempt to block out her own superior elven hearing.

"But I will!" Rose smiled. "I just hope there's plenty of room in that big heart of yours for me..."

The sound that escaped Laska's throat sounded much like a cross between a girlish giggle and a groan of embarrassment. But as another knight went down in the ring, a voice from behind ruined the perfect moment.

"Poppycock!" sounded again from the greasy man. "You girls just don't know how to handle a REAL man!"

"Do you often listen in to people's private conversations?" Rose snarled.

"Do you often express the desire to have your skeleton removed from your body?" Laska snarled.

"Look!" the greasy man smiled and waved his bratwurst around. "Why don't you two girls stop by at my place later when the wife is not home, and I'll cure you! Free of charge!"

"Excuse me for a moment," Laska said and got up from her seat. The greasy man, in turn, would awaken the next morning, laying on the trash-heap with two black eyes, a broken jaw and zero teeth.

"That didn't take long," Rose smiled.

"Were you really surprised?" Laska returned the smile, but first noticing that a man dressed in expensive velvet clothing had taken her seat.

"Lord Firkraag," Rose told to the man sitting next to her. "This is Laska, the adventurer you were looking for."

Immediately, the lord, assuming a rather haughty impression, swirled around and regarded the tattooed elf for a time. Then, a fake smile spread over his face as he spoke. "Ah, yes. So you are Laska Leafwalker. You will do fine, I think. My name is Lord Jierdan Firkraag, ruler of the Windspear lands. I would like to hire you and your party for a task."

Laska took an immediate dislike to this man. There was something in his pitch-black eyes that make her wary. "And what 'task' might that be?" Laska asked.

"Well, well, well," Lord Firkraag grinned. "Ever the hero, are you not? I am willing to pay you ten thousand gold for ridding my lands of a orc invasion."

"That," Laska narrowed her eyes in suspicion, "is a rather large sum for a simple monster-hunt."

"HAH!" Lord Firkraag chuckled. "Those orcs cost me more than that every day, due to the loss of trade. I bid you to rid me of those bothersome creatures."

"I'll think about it," Laska muttered.

"Please do so," Lord Firkraag nodded, and turned around, walking away from the tattooed elf, who stared after the strange man for quite some time before taking her seat next to Rose.

"You've missed the final joust," Rose said, as both of them noticed Lady Isabella Trarr had taken her place on the winner's podium and was receiving the cheers of the crowds. Suddenly, Laska jerked her head to allow her to gaze upon the left side of the ring, her sensitive ears having picked up screams.

"What is it?" Rose asked with a touch of concern.

"Trouble!" Laska muttered.

And she was right. Mere seconds later, four screaming gnomes ran through the encampment, being chased by a very, very angry elephant. The result was utter chaos. Spooked horses ran off in any direction, while knights and paladins jumped aside to avoid the stampeding creatures. The audience, in the meantime, was, of course, loving the show.

Laska ran down to the ring to find a way to keep that elephant from stampeding and perhaps trampling innocent people. She found a weapons-cart, filled to the brim with halberds, knives, swords and other assorted sharp shiny stuff.

"OY!" shouted the still belly-laughing Korgan as he chased after Laska. "I nay want a miss this! HAR HAR!"

Both elf and dwarf took off as Laska pulled the reigns and put the cart in motion.

'Dammit' Vaelag panted as he finally had ducked into an alley to escape the evil elephant chasing him across the city, outside the city and back into the city. Vowing to avenge himself for this insult, he walked back to his estate. But as soon as he crossed the street, he came face to face with a cart baring down on him.

"This was the stupidest idea I have ever had!" Laska shouted as the cart sped down a cobblestone road.

"Ye be tellin' me!" Korgan shouted in retort as he beard whipped in the wind. "Ye think if I be axin' off their legs, these 'orses will stop!"

"There's someone in the road! Pull the brake!" Laska shouted at Korgan.

"The what?!"

"That lever next to you!"

"Will do!"

"Hold on!"

The cart came to an immediate stop while elf and dwarf held on with all their might. The weapons loaded on the cart were not tied down however. Tons of sharpened steel flew over their heads and over the horses. The anguished scream of the gnome standing in the road came to an abrupt halt as the mass of weapons landed exactly where he stood.

"Ooppps," Laska grimaced.

"HAR HAR!" Korgan chuckled.

Back at her mansion, Laska examined her living room with due scrutiny. All her furniture was where it belonged, the front door was fixed and there was absolutely no trace of any elephant-dung.

"Ah, Laska," Jan smiled. "You're lucky we Jansens are such good bricklayers. My cousins fixed it up in no time. It's so nice to know you can rely on family, don't you think?"

"Well done," Laska smiled. "I'm just glad my keg of ale is back where it belongs."

"Ach, ye be knowin' what be important, lass! Har Har!" Korgan laughed.

"So, they did find Drufus, munching from the turnip-patch till Ma chased him back up the attic. They also scraped three of Vaelag's henchmen from under his feet, and, speaking of Vaelag, did you hear what happen to him?"

"Can't say I have," Laska muttered.

"I nay be knowin'," Korgan grinned.

Jan just shook his head and smiled. "Thanks guys," he muttered, and went to join Lissa in the kitchen to prepare tonight's turnip-surprise.