"I wish Keldorn would tell us about why we are being summoned to this infernal place once more," Viconia wondered as she and her four friends were about to enter the Order Guildhouse.

"Ah, Viconia!" Minsc raved. "Mayhaps the nice knights will send us on a grand adventure!! I hope it involves plenty of evil in need of a jawbreaking punch!"

"Then again," Viconia snorted, "they might decide to slaughter us for no apparent reason..."

"So..." Laska asked Jan. "How was your date?" Ever since Lissa and her daughter had been living in Laska's house, he seemed to be walking on air all the time.

"Oh, oh," Jan grinned. "We're getting re-acquainted. Ah, it was so romantic last night. More so even than cousin Iggy's wedding. But then again, he did marry six brides at once, so there was a certain accumulation there... Anyway, we spent all evening waiting for the moon to come up, and it sure took him long enough, mind you... And then we sat on the patio of the house, looking at the moon, drinking from a single turnip with two straws in it.... Ah, it was bliss..."

"Nice to know things are going well for you and Lissa, Jan," Laska chuckled.

"Oh, hey!" Jan certainly said. "No need to be jealous. You know, if you're lonely, I could introduce you to my cousin Reginald. He owns a pig-farm, you know! Very lucrative..."

"NO!" Laska quickly replied. "No fixing up for this elf!"

"Are you sure?" Jan asked. "You'll get all the pork you can eat! Liberally covered with turnip-shavings, of course..."

"I'll pass..."

"I nay know, lass," Korgan broke in. "Ye could always kill the bugger in his sleep and be takin' the pork. Then ye be a free elf AND 'ave yer pockets filled with pork rids!"

"You know, that's exactly what happened to auntie Roberta!" Jan added. "Then again, we did warn her about marrying a half-griffin. Half-griffins like gnomes as much as the full-blooded ones do as it turns out. Sad thing, really.... She was a legendary expert on creating exotic taste pork-rinds, like 'sour-creme and salsa', 'Turnip-peanutbutter surprise', 'Lemon-Tang-Orange' and 'Fish-Beef-Cognac'."

"Well," Viconia replied sharply. "That has certainly put me off dinner for a while..."

"Hmmmmmmm," Minsc licked his lips, "Lemon-Tang-Orange Pork Rinds......."

"Ah, you have finally arrived," Keldorn smiled as his friends stepped past the small stables and into the Hallowed Halls of the Order Guildhouse. "I was starting to get worried."

"No detours this time, Keldorn," Laska grinned.

"Now," Viconia asked. "If you would tell us why we are here."

"Of course," Keldorn said, in his most official tone of voice. "The Order would like to hire you for a task."

"Ach, more fallen sanctimonious gits?" Korgan chuckled. "Me axe be itchin' fer a swing or two..."

"No, nothing like that," Keldorn said as his bid his friends to follow him to one of the offices in the back of the Guildhouse. When they entered, they found the familiar visage of Sir Ryan Trawl waiting for them. He was dressed in Full Plate, brandished a mean-looking halberd and was generally looking ready for combat, though judging from his disarming smile, he had no intention of initiating combat any time soon. He was flanked by a red-haired girl barely seventeen years of age, wearing a blue mage-robe. She seemed to be holding her fighting staff rather awkwardly, betraying she had very little experience in actually using it.

"Are... are these the adventurers you have hired to help save my father's keep?" the girl asked Keldorn. "They... they look kinda familiar, but..."

"Do not worry, my Lady," Keldorn said. "I have worked closely with these fine people, and I consider them to be most competent adventurers..."

"Most?" Laska asked.

"Competent?" Viconia smirked.

"This is Lady Nalia De'Arnise," Sir Ryan Trawl broke in. "Daughter of the honorable Lord Dougal De'Arnise. His Keep was besieged by unknown attackers, and she has requested the aid of the Order to help deal with the situation."

"It's been very hard to find people who will help me," Nalia sniffed. "I've been travelling the more seedier parts of town in search of mercenaries, but no one would even hear me out..."

"Do not worry, my Lady," Sir Ryan said. "We of the Order take duty very seriously..."

"Just don't expect me to be your lackey," Laska practically snarled.

"No, Laska," Keldorn said, "for what we have in mind, you, meaning the party, will be in charge of this operation."

"So, we be gettin' to boss around knighties?" Korgan laughed. "Oy! Ye be jumpin' of the bloody cliff, and flap yer arms when ye be fallin'!" Korgan pointed at Sir Ryan. "Donnae be talkin' back to me now, or yer god will get angry and smite ye!"

Against all expectations, Sir Ryan Trawl broke out in laughter. "No, no, no, no, no," he chuckled. "You won't be commanding any knights..."

"As you might be aware, the Order has a rather large number of Squires who sign on each year in attempt to gain a place within it's hallowed halls," Keldorn said.

"They are good souls, but merely one tenth of all the squires actually makes it through the rigorous training and selection process," Sir Ryan Trawl said. "And even then, there are more squires left then there are actual free positions in the Order itself. Meaning that each year, we divide all the squires into groups of three and send them out on an adventure with a knighted supervisor. Usually these are small quests, not one of this magnitude. That is why only the most powerful and most promising are sent on this particular mission, and why you have been contacted to lead the operation..."

"So we get to babysit a couple o' wanna-be's?" Korgan chuckled. "I be 'opin' I nay be needin' to change their nappies. HAR!"

"Do not worry," Keldorn said. "All these squires are very competent fighters. It is our job to see how they work together with others and how they conduct themselves under true battle conditions..."

"A training mission," Laska said.

"No," Sir Ryan Trawl said. "A real mission..."

"Very real for my father and the others still trapped in the Keep!" Nalia stressed. "Please, you must help me!"

"I will observe and supervise the squires," Keldorn said. "But the evaluation all of you will give after this quest has been completed will be vital in the decision who of these three squires will be chosen to become a knight this year. We only have one position to give away in this group... Those who are not selected will be given more appropriate training and will try again at another time."

"Ah," Jan said. "That'll be fun! I'll made a checklist for anyone. And if they don't like turnips, they DON'T get to be knights!"

"Oh, this is wonderful Boo!" Minsc said. "We get to decide who will kick a dragon's butt as a knight!"

"So I take it, you are going to help me?" Nalia asked, radiating intense hope.

"Yes, we will..." Laska said.

"Send in the clowns," Viconia chuckled.

Immediately, Sir Ryan Trawl nodded and the first squire entered the room. He was a young, but strong-looking human man, dressed in an incredibly well-made and ornate Platemail armor and brandished a bastard sword and a shield as choice weapons.

"This is Gurgan Forgehammer," Keldorn said.

"Oy!" Korgan broke in. "That be a dwarven name!"

"You couldn't be more right," Sir Ryan Trawl replied. "Gurgan was orphaned as a child and adopted by a dwarven smith who works the forge in Trademeet."

"Aye, I should 'ave known," Korgan chuckled. "That armor be dwarven craft."

"Young Gurgan was actually approached to join the Order after one of our knights noticed him settling a dispute between two large groups of armed soldiers belonging to the two rival noble houses of Trademeet. With a diplomatic approach, combined with a few waves of his sword, he managed to defuse the conflict before hostilities could break out. Since then, he studied hard and trained even harder. A place as a knight would be well earned for him, even though he is the youngest squire of the three. Squire Gurgan?"

"I be makin' no illusions that I will be chosen ta be knighted," Gurgan spoke in a heavy dwarven-accented voice. "Like Sir Keldorn be sayin', I still be too young to be knighted. I will be servin' you no less, though..."

"Well, we know where you got that fine armor," Jan grinned.

"Ach," Gurgan chuckled. "Me da be a good man, and I told 'im 'e shouldn't bother, that I would be buyin' me own armor. But 'e would nay hear of it, kept tellin' me that 'No son of 'is would be wearin' nay shabbily made 'uman armor'... Anyway, me blade be in yer service. And in the service o'Torm, of course."

Once again, Sir Ryan Trawl nodded. A second squire entered the hall. A woman, this time. A woman with blonde hair and laughing brown eyes. She wore a rather plain chain-mail and brandished a rather large Two-handed sword. The huge sword made the girl look rather scrawny as she held it strapped to her back and sometimes having the tip of the sword scrape over the marble floor of the guildhouse. Immediately as she saw the party, a blush rose to her cheeks. "Errrmmm, hi..." she spoke meekly.

"Squire Elotta Trarr!" Sir Ryan Trawl spoke firm, yet gently. "You may not yet speak..."

"Sorry," she muttered nervously.

"Elotta has been approaching the end of training as a Squire-Paladin in the service of Tyr," Keldorn said. "She's the daughter of one of our elder members and is showing much promise for the future. Her biggest problem, however, is her shy nature, among strangers. Still, she is one of the most well-liked squires there are.... You may speak, Elotta"

Elotta spoke up, and through her high-pitched nervous voice several words like 'Tyr', 'Squire', 'Paladin', 'Order', 'Loyalty' and 'Rutabager' could be heard.

"And the third," Keldorn sighed.

"Why are you suddenly so nervous?" Viconia asked.

"Squire Anomen Delryn," Sir Ryan Trawl announced, and... he stepped into the room, looking cocky as ever with his polished platemail, his trusty hammer and his family shield. But as soon as he and Laska locked eyes...

"YOU?!!!" they spoke simultaniously.

"I'm NOT going anywhere with that idiot!" Laska shouted.

"I'm NOT going anywhere with that trollop!" Anomen shouted at the same time.

"This is what I feared," Keldorn sighed.

"Squire Anomen," Sir Ryan Trawl stressed. "You may not yet speak..."

"You wish me to travel with this group of amoral scoundrels?" Anomen shouted. "Their leader is as evil as those who we will be fighting in the first place!"

"I am Laska," Laska grinned inwardly and faux-snarled, "the mighty demonic elf! And I mean to eat you ALL! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Is that your impression of evil, fool boy?"

"Listen to how she mocks a squire of the Order!" Anomen directed to Keldorn and Ryan, unaware that Gurgan was snickering and Elotta's face was caught in the state of a blushy smile.

"Squire Anomen! You will be SILENT!" Sir Ryan Trawl replied.

Anomen looked as if he was about to explode in rage, but, showing remarkable self-control, he managed to calm himself down enough to remain silent.

"This is Squire Anomen Delryn," Keldorn said. "And I have heard of how you first met. Still, I am confident both of you will set your differences aside to help free the Keep from the siege it is under. Lives will be depending on this, Laska."

"Hey, don't look at me. As long as I don't get TOO drunk, I might be able to keep myself from stuffing his head up his bum..." Laska said, immediately taking a sip from her pocketflask.

"I like to see you try, brigand!" Anomen retorted.

"ANOMEN!" Sir Ryan Trawl bellowed.

Anomen nodded apologetically, but did not stop giving Laska harsh stares.

"Squire Anomen," Keldorn said, "is the son of a local merchant, but was not sponsored by the man and he earned the mantle of a squire on his own. He is an eager warrior-priest of Helm, sometimes too eager and driven. But I have no doubt he'll become a great knight..."

"Hah," Laska snorted. "He'll probably become the kind of knight that will kill a squirrel for stealing a nut..."

"HAR HAR!" Korgan belly-laughed. "That be tellin' those pansies, lass!"

"Say," Jan asked. "What's the Order's stance on the sale of completely semi-legal advanced mechanical machinery of a delicate, yet very useful nature?"

"Well," Sir Ryan Trawl said. "If it's useful..."

"I'm working on this new device, you see? I call it the 'pocket-knife'. It's a small fold-out utensil. It's got a razor, a cork-screw, a pair of scissors, a turnip-peeler, a turnip-holder, a file, a piece of candy for those hungry days, an umbrella, a gift-coupon, a tankard, the complete biography of Elminster, a Red-Wizard repellant, a magic missile, a magic book, a 14-cylinder turnip-beer maker, a mighty demonic skull, a crossbow, a doghouse, a dog, a compass, a magnet, a spare set of keys and some lockpicks," Jan raved. "Plus, there'll be a free cart included for anyone wanting to lug this handy little device around!"

"What about a knife?" Viconia asked. "It's a pocket-knife after all..."

"Are you NUTS?!" Jan retorted. "There's no more room for a knife!"

"And you want us to got with this lot?" Anomen asked. "I question your wisdom in this matter, Sir Trawl, Sir Firecam..."

"Duly noted," Sir Trawl said. "You and the other squires shall report to the corral outside of the city in an hour."

"I do so under protest, Sir Trawl," Anomen said, before joining the other squires.

"Ah, yes, we must leave as soon as possible," Keldorn asked his friends. "Will an hour be enough to gather supplies and prepare for a journey? If so, I will meet you at the corral in an hour."

"What will we be doing at the corral?" Laska asked.

"Retrieving our horses, naturally," Keldorn said. "Surely you did not expect us to walk to Keep De'Arnise."

"So," Laska asked her friends as they had gathered up their packs, "do we have everything?"

"Almost everything," Viconia said, and pointed to the three giggling girls playing hide and seek. They peeked in every closet, looked behind every piece of furniture and generally tore the place upside down. In the background, Khittix silently skittered from his hiding-place behind a chair to the back of a small bench put against the wall. Before the children could spot him, he had put his legs on the wall and equally quietly skittered to the ceiling.

"Found Khittix yet?" Viconia snickered.

"No," Risa said. "We've looked EVERYWHERE!"

"Hey, look, look!" the tiny gnomish girl knows as Jaella spoke up and pointed to the ceiling. There, clinging to a fancy hanging chandelier, was Khittix. Knowing he was found, he shot a silky wire from his hind-quarters and slowly let himself slide down by that silky wire. Once on the floor, the children 'assaulted' Khittix with a series of pets and cuddles. The happily chirping Khittix was very pleased with all the attention he had been getting from the children lately.

"Sorry, young ones," Viconia said, "but I'm afraid Khittix must come with me..."

"Awwwww," the three girls pouted, and waved Khittix goodbye as he returned to the statue in Viconia's hand.

"Ah," Minsc said and held out Boo. "Minsc has all he needs!"

"HEY!" sounded from the umbrella-stand. "You big lummox! You take that rodent, but not me?! I'm the blade here! I'd like to see you pummeling someone to death with a hamster..."

"Ah, Minsc's face is red from shame," Minsc added, "Of course I would not forget my pointy buddy Lilarcor!"

*'HAH!'* Ipsiya spoke up. *'He'd be better off with just the hamster'*

"Ah, but then you won't have my charming personality around to arouse your torrid fantasies, my sweet Ipsiya! Rrrrrooowwwwllll..." Lilarcor added.

*'Well,'* Ipsiya snickered *'there is this fantasy of my which involves you and a smelting oven...'*

"Ah, the red-hot smelting oven of LUVVV?" Lilarcor asked.

*'No, I just watch... and laugh...'*

"Sorry about interrupting your research again, Vic," Laska said, ignoring the two swords.

"No matter," Viconia replied. "I feel I am close to uncovering the secret, though... I will be taking some of my books with me on this trip..."

"Okay then," Laska said. "Lasalla will keep this house running while we are gone and paladins will check in on Lissa and Jaella. Speaking of which, let's see if we can pry Lissa and Jan from their goodbye-hug..."