"Fifteen elves on a dead-man's chest! Yo-ho-ho and a decanter of tea!" Imoen sang as she leaned from the bow of the Swiftwind, looking down at the water splashing against the hull of the speeding ship. Even though the Elven Destroyer was one of the fastest ships to travel the seas of Faerun, Mook said the trip would still take ten days. Even though they were two days at sea already, they felt fresh out of port, mainly because the Swiftwind had all the comforts of home : spacious cabins, comfortable furniture and plenty of fresh food.

"That's not how that song goes, Imoen," Mook smiled as she was tying a few knots next to her. Behind them, Khittix was still having trouble getting his sealegs. The spider skittered back and forth, trying to compensate for the movements of the ship. Still, he wasn't the only one with problems. Korgan was hanging over the railing, losing what little lunch he had kept inside of him during the last time he hung over the railing.

"Och!" Korgan shouted when he was done. "Stop this ruddy pile o'firewood from shaking so much!"

"Korgan!" Dynaheir shouted from the other side of the deck. "For gods' sakes, clean thy beard!"

"OY!" Korgan snarled back. "Make me!!"

At the stern, Laska, Keldorn and Jan stood looking about. Viconia had locked the mostly automatically regulated magical controls of the ship on cruising-speed while she took a brief nap below decks. Jan was twiddlings his thumbs, looking at the controls while Keldorn and Laska stood looking out over the ocean.

"Amazing, this sea, isn't it?" Keldorn said. "When I was younger, I always wanted to be an explorer... But I had a different calling."

"Oh, look there!" Laska said. "Dolphins!"

"What? Where..." Keldorn said, but then smiled. "Sorry, Laska. My eyes are no match for your elven ones, I'm afraid."

"Sorry," Laska said. "I keep forgetting you can't see as far as I do."

"It's fine," Keldorn said. "It's your elven eyes, or rather, Ilylarr's elven eyes that should keep up abreast of anything in the near vicinity."

"You said..." Laska started to giggle, but Keldorn interrupted.

"A little maturity please, my dear elf," Keldorn smiled and wagged his finger in front of Laska's nose.

In the meantime, Jan had snuck up to the controls and examined them in detail. He had never seen such elven craftsmanship from up close, even though his uncle Dinky had... then again, uncle Dinky had also had a meat-spike wrenched through his head which he didn't notice until after living with it for a couple of decades. The numerous ornate buttons on an even more ornately designed control-panel above the wheel were terribly alluring. Especially the big crystal spike sticking out on top of the panel was attractive... for a moment, it seemed like it spoke to him in his mind : 'Come on, Jan. Pull me out of the panel... Examine me... you know you want to!' And before he knew it, Jan had pulled the crystal upwards, until it could not reach further. While Jan pulled on the spire, however, all sails extended and caught wind.

The Swiftwind lurched forward, scattering the errant crew on deck to slide backwards into the stern of the ship. Irylarr cried as she was thrown out of the crow's nest and barely caught one of the robes before she could smash into the deck below. Korgan swore as he slammed into a cannon... and sadly keened over into its nozzle when the nausea came back. Imoen held on to the bow for dear life, but giggled in sheer enjoyment. Laska and Keldorn were suddenly thrown over the railing. Laska managed to grab hold of one of the wooden statues which decorated the stern and pulled herself up, but Keldorn was less fortunate. With a yelp, the aged paladin met the cold waters of the sea below.

In the meantime, Jan had simply put the spike back. The sails returned to their positions and the ship's speed returned to standard cruise. Unfortunately for Jan, everybody knew who was responsible.

"Errm, Laska?" Jan asked the elf who had just flipped over the railing, while Minsc and Dynaheir prepared to launch the Swiftwind's one and only sloop to get Keldorn. "Could you distract this angry mob out to get me with some nudity, maybe?"

"Huh?" Laska asked. "Oh, sure." Immediately, Laska stretched one arm and tugged at the laces of her vest. "Oh, my," she said, acting terribly bad, "I really want to feel the warmth of the sun and the breeze on my soft skin..."

Unfortunately, they were more interested in yelling at Jan.

The Swiftwind was travelling more slowly at night, a precautionary measure, just in case. Viconia had instructed Imoen how to handle the ship, and the pink-haired mage now stood at the helm with a remarkable sense of responsibility etched on her young face.

Keldorn also stood at the side of the ship, watching the stars in the clear sky above. He wondered what was out there. What there would be to find and see? How far it stretched on... How old it all was... And...

"OY!" Korgan shouted. "Quit yer daydreamin', Longlimb," he grinned. "I be 'ere ta relieve ye. Ye can go ta yer bunk now."

"Ah, Korgan," Keldorn said. "Thank you. I certainly could use a rest."

"Aye," Korgan grinned. "I be figuring ye be prayin' ta yer god fer forgiveness. Ach, ye be hurlin' insults at that Gnome's head that would 'ave made even ole Ma Bloodaxe blush! HAR!"

"No doubt Torm would find this one instance justified," Keldorn shook his head. "And Viconia came up just in time to take over from me. I was running out of ammunition."

"Aye," Korgan said. "Our dear captain 'as quite a bit of notes on her playlist."

The two stared at the stars for a bit.

"Too many damn longears on this trip, Keldy," Korgan sighed.

"How do you mean?"

"Oh, Laska is alright, Vico too," Korgan said. "But Mook and Irylarr donnae like me..."

"I'm not really surprised," Keldorn said. "You don't ask two ladies to 'come to my cabin for hours and hours of sweet action', Korgan.

"OY!" Korgan shouted. "Donnae be disgustin'! What kinda dwarf would be beddin' an elf?! Nay, I be askin' them if they be interested in sparring with a robust dwarf, but the dirty-minded tree-huggers thought I be propostionin' them! As if... Those bloody longears overestimate themselves..."

"Don't blame them," Keldorn said. "They have had a lot of bad experiences with human men chasing after them, I shouldn't wonder."

"Och, still it be pretty sick," Korgan snorted. "And elf and a dwarf... Disgusting. Elves prefer ta keep ta themselves, ey? Why else would they all go off duty at once?" Korgan winked.

Keldorn nodded, and was feeling a bit tired. He bid Korgan, Dynaheir in the crow's nest and Imoen a good night and headed below deck. There, on the crew-deck, was the hallway giving access to the spacious cabins. He noticed Mook and Irylarr were sitting on a small bench at the end of the hallway, quietly and intimately talking to each other.

Seeing it was obvious they didn't want to have him around, Keldorn headed to his cabin, but before he could open the door, the door was opened for him, from inside the cabin. Out came a half-naked elf : Limryu.

"Huh," Limryu spoke and was looking a bit flushed. "Oh, umm... is this your cabin?"

"I... think so," Keldorn said.

"Sorry," Limryu said. "We were kinda in a hurry, you see?"

"We?" Keldorn asked.

At that moment, the impatient sounding voice of Viconia sounded from behind the door in Keldorn's cabin. "MALE! Hurry up! Find that massage-oil on the tray outside!!"

"Is... that a bitemark on your shoulder?" Keldorn asked.

"MAAAALLLLEEEEE!!!" Viconia shouted again.

"Errm, yes," Limryu said and snatched the bottle. "Look, I gotta run... you can use my cabin, okay?"

"But..." Keldorn tried to say, but his own door was slammed in his face. Then, Keldorn was facing the other doors. If only he had paid attention when Viconia had divided the cabins. Which one was Limryu's again?

On chance, he picked one of the doors and opened it. It was dark inside, but it became quickly clear that the room wasn't empty. A series of kissing sounds and moans he knew belonged to Rose and Laska reached his ears, and he quickly closed the doors, hoping they hadn't noticed them.

Shaking his head in discomfort, he unintentionally glanced at Mook and Irylarr, just as the two elves had gently brushed lips. Unfortunately, this time he was noticed... The firey eyes or Irylarr met his as she regarded him with utter fury.

"Leave us alone, pervert!" Irylarr snarled.

Wisely, Keldorn decided to apologize and left, going back to the upper deck. There, he met up with Korgan again. "What is this?" Keldorn sighed. "A floating brothel for elves?!"

Korgan chuckled briefly.

As Laska was lazying in her comfortable bed under the duvet, laying on her back basking in the light of the morning sun pouring in through the larger than normal portholes on the side of her luxurious cabin, Rose lay prone next to her, pressing her body against Laska's side while she rested her head on Laska's shoulder.

"I really should get up," Laska said while Rose was softly caressing Laska's belly with the tips of her fingers, often stopping to playfully tickle her lover's bellybutton. "I have to cook breakfast for everybody."

"No," Rose said lazily. "I want you to stay here with me."

"Rose," Laska said.

"Drastic measures are needed I see," Rose grinned and, with some effort rolled on top of her lover. To Laska, the warmth of the half-elven body crushing on hers was intoxicating. Immediately, Rose brushed her lips against Laska's, sending little shocks right into Laska's rapidly awakening brain. The half-elf continued her oral assault and softly bit Laska's neck, suckling the elf's soft flesh for a moment. Ever downward she moved, until her trail of kisses stopped in the valley between Laska's breasts. Rose grinned, sending her trail of kisses sideways.

Laska threw her head back as the intense sensations overcame her. Laska gasped as her lover did wonderful things to her with her mouth, while Rose gently massaged Laska's other breast with her free hand. Immediately, Laska folded her arms around her lover, and slowly caressed downward until she reached the half-elf's lower back.

Suddenly, Rose yelped briefly as Laska turned the tables and flipped her to her back, ending up grinning as Laska lay on top of her lover. "I ain't leaving," she grinned. Rose smiled, laid her hands on Laska's belly and moved upwards to continue her gentle massage of Laska's breasts. A fire lit in Laska's eyes as she bent down to press her lips on those of her lover. Their kiss deepened... breakfast could wait.

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry I didn't cook you any breakfast!" Laska said exasperatedly in front of her crew and friends. "I was just... doing command stuff in my cabin, you know. Too busy to come out and all that..."

"Your porthole was open, Laska," Viconia said. "You are perfectly content to fulfill your own carnal lusts while your friends die of starvation!"

"You're one to talk!" Limryu chuckled.

"Silence, male!" Viconia retorted.

"Oh, it's no problem!" Laska chuckled. "I'll just make you some extra portions for lunch, it's no big deal!"

"Oh," Dynaheir said. "Now we know where we stand in thy book. Thou dost place sex before thy hungry friends!"

"Don't tell me any of you wouldn't?!" Laska grinned.

"Oh, yes, we are hypocrites and we know it," Mook chuckled. "But we still get to complain! Don't you know the major cause of mutinies is actually lack of proper food?"

"Yes," Viconia said and took a fishing pole from one of the barrels. "In the meantime, I have to catch my own breakfast," she fumed and tossed out a line.

"Oh, guys, come on!" Laska said, while her friends turned their backs and walked away.

"Give it a few days," Imoen chuckled and patted Laska on the shoulders. "And do some damn good cooking to make up for it," she winked and returned to her post.

"SHIP AHOY!" Irylarr shouted from the Crow's nest. "She's half-sunk!"

"What?!" Keldorn shouted. "We have to look for survivors!"

"Do it yourself!" Viconia shouted back. "I'm too busy fishing!"

Imoen steered the boat towards the sunken barge. It was in bad shape. A huge hole was slammed into the hull on the side, and the ship lay slanted in the water. Many wooden ornaments and barrels were floating in the water, signifying the disaster had taken place mere hours ago.

"Look at that tooth in the hull," Irylarr said. "I'd say three people were shark-hunting. One went down in the water for some reason... then the shark jumped out of the water and onto the boat where it gobbled up the other one. Then the shark slammed through the hull to get at the third one, but he got out... then the third man tried to climb the mast, but I think he was grabbed."

"How do you know all this?" Imoen asked, ignoring Viconia's excited shouts that she had a bite.

"I used to be a ranger," Irylarr spoke. "Long story." In the background, Viconia tried to attract attention again.

"HEY!" Viconia shouted, but was slightly startled to suddenly see a 25 foot great white shark explode from the water, snapping its jaws at the Drow in defiance as the hook of her line was lodged in its mouth.

"Oh, no you don't!" Viconia's eyes shone with magic as she summoned the elemental magics of Tymora. Immediately, an explosion of light and thunder sounded from the side of the ship as a bolt of lighting hit the shark at point-blank range.

"Hey, I caught us some lunch!" Viconia grinned as she regarded the dead shark in the water.

"But... I don't have any recipes for shark..." Laska muttered.

"You really outdid yourself this time, sis," Imoen said as she shoved some shark-kebab in peanut-sauce in her mouth.

"I think I'm going to lie down for a bit," Laska said as she watched all her friends eat. "I've been cooking all morning."

On the table lay shark-fricassee, shark-with fruit, shark-with-shark, pickled shark, cooked shark, boiled shark, fried shark, salted shark, raw shark, shark soup, shark on a bed of butter, shark on a bed of lettuce, shark-salad, shark-surprise, shark with fries, shark with spam and shark au naturel. In the middle of the table lay the head of the shark with a huge pumpkin in its mouth for decoration. The rest of the shark-meat had been salted and placed in the stores below the crewdeck.

"Great food!" Irylarr said.

"Yes," Dynaheir grinned. "We forgive thee for this morning."

"Thanks," Laska said. "Say, it's really amazing, you know? I mean, what you can get into on a ship? Today a shark, but who knows... Tomorrow one of use might find some creature that hugs our faces and then fall off, and just when we think he's okay, some creature explodes from his chest and then kills us one by one until there's just one of us left who has to blow up the ship... You never know," she said before she was out the door.

And for a few moments, everybody checked to see if there were any facehuggers in dark corners.