Wow, this is it! The 100th TNT! As I promised something special, here it is.

I'm especially nervous because of the, ahum, guest appearances... You'll know what I mean when you get there. But all characters are treated with the respect they deserve, and I tried to do my best to keep from putting words in their mounts. I know I should have asked permission, but after some deliberation, I figured it would ruin the surprise. If anyone objects, or feels I have crossed a line, I will immediately alter the story. You need only tell me. Apologies in advance. It was done out of love and is not meant in a malicious way.

In anyway, I do hope you enjoy the story.

Flip : *A bit of a scrawny bloke in khakis and a cheap T-shirt appears on screen. The name 'Flip Quasar' appears in caption.* Tnt... A long-running serial saw its first episode the 9th of June of 2001. Welcome to a unique program, highlighting the cast of this, ahum, classy series. This is Flip Quasar for DonkeyBollocks News.

*image shot of Laska strolling across the set of Tnt, wearing her usual leather pants and skimpy vest, showing off a lot of grey skin and a myriad of exotic tattoos.*

Flip : This is Laska Leafwalker, the elven star of this series, known for her alcoholic habits, her quick temper, tendancy for extreme violence and... God, why did they give this job to me? The Baghdad assignment was probably a lot safer... Anyway, let us chat for a moment with this one-of-a-kind lady...

Laska : *sits in her chair in front of the fireplace of the house, opposite of Flip. Her long dark hair hangs loose, and a playful smile is tugging at the corners of her mouth. Caption appears : Laska Leafwalker. Elven Bhaalspawn and leading lady.* Well, I am the brainchild of Weyoun, my scribe, and his first character ever in the first Baldur's Gate game. Back then, I was still a sack-of-straw Fighter/Mage blundering through the woods, but I hope I've improved a bit now. I still get a lot of questions from where I got my name from. As Weyoun tells me, he always has enormous trouble coming with names for his characters, and the majority of time spend my first char-sheet was taken up by coming up with my name. Fortunately, there was this Xena-episode playing in the background, and in that episode there was this amazon warrior named Velasca. Now, luckily, he zoned-in from being zoned-out long enough to hear the name and changed it to Laska. So that's the story of how I got my name.

Flip : *Stares at Laska's chest* Fascinating...

Laska : *grins* Don't think I haven't noticed that you've been staring at my boobs the entire time, Flip. But I'm used to that by now... *faux-yawns*.

Flip : Urmm, yes, I...

Laska : Say, I thought they'd be sending over Martin Bashir? What happened there?

Flip : Yes, well, he's had some legal trouble as of late. He interviewed Don Corleone last week and they caught him cutting out questions... He sleeps with the fishes now, if you catch my drift.

Laska : Oh, okay.

Flip : I feel that what springs to my eye the most are your... *averts eyes from Laska's breasts* stunning tattoos.

Laska : Thank you. I am very proud of those beauties, but I have so many now that Weyoun has had to make a list to keep track of them all. Shall we go over them? Well, my eye-tats jump to view immediately. Makes me look more feral, so it does help me a lot in battle. *pulls down vest a little to reveal ornate webbing on her right shoulder* Got this one when I was drunk, but I love it. *extends her right arm, there is a blue gauntlet-like tattoo on her upper hand to her upper wrist, and a moonblade above the elbow* This arm is full too. *rolls up pants on right leg, revealing a snake around her knee, and a vine on her upper right thigh* Another leg. *Rolls up pants on left leg, showing off a crossed blade and branch* And then there's the one on my belly to cover up a scar, the rose on my breast, and, of course, the blue dragon on my lower back with its tail whipping around my upper left leg? Wanna see?

Flip : No, no! I fear my head might explode.

Laska : Suit yourself. My left arm is a bit bare, though. I'm thinking of having a firey red phoenix put above my elbow. The tattoos are all correct here, but, of course, in the story there can be some inconsistencies, especially with my arm-tats. You see, despite being 24 years old now, Weyoun still has trouble discerning left from right at times.

*camera switches to other interviews. Keldorn appears in view, standing in front of the Order building, captioned as 'Keldorn : Friend, paladin, long-suffering partymember*

Keldorn : When I first met Laska, it was in the Beholder-dungeons, I believe, yes... I was about to be killed by shadows and out jumps this maniacal elfgirl, doing all kinds of acrobatics and killing two of them at once, enjoying it all to no end... Personally, I had pegged her for nuts, then.

*camera switches to Viconia, sitting in front of a statue in her room. Caption appears 'Viconia. Drow, friend, confidante, partymember.'*

Viconia : When I first met Laska, I didn't trust her one bit. Our peoples were ancient enemies and her wild ways were certainly not inspiring... but she took her time and offered genuine friendship and companionship to make my transition easier. Of course, we knew each other before the event chronicled in Tnt, but Weyoun has expressed plans for a prequel, so we'll just have to see.

*Camera switches to Minsc, playing with Boo in the Yard. Caption appears 'Minsc + Boo, ranger and hamster extraordinaire'*

Minsc : Oh, sure, Minsc and Boo like Laska as a friend. Did you know that Tnt was originally meant to be a romance-story between her and me? Hahah, Boo told me that but I like her more as a friend... Would you like to see my Boo?

*Camera switches to Imoen sitting in a painfully pink room. Caption appears : 'Imoen. Perky sister and powerful mage'*

Imoen : Oh, sure Laska and I go waaaaayyyyy back. We used to play all the time at Candlekeep since we were little girls. We still play games now, but... on a larger scale and the stakes are higher.

Flip : You consider adventuring a game?

Imoen : Sure! Don't you?

*Camera switches back to Laska*

Flip : Laska, you are now 27 years old, and physically full-grown. But most young elves only start adventuring when they're at least 120 when they've... matured mentally as well. Don't you find it difficult to travel the road at such a young age?

Laska : Well, I was thrust in the role, as were all the Bhaalspawn. And to answer your other question, will I ever grow up? *thinks a moment.* Never...

*Camera switches to Jaheira, standing at the grove with a black eye, a broken arm and plasters strewn over her body. Caption : 'Jaheira. Once possible friend'*

Jaheira : What I think of Laska Leafwalker? I think they should lock her up and throw away the key! I think they should turn her into a statue and SMASH IT TO PIECES!!! THEY SHOULD... *camera pans away quickly*

*Camera switches to Melissan, sitting in Saradush. Caption : 'Melissan. Leader of the evil dudes'*

Melissan : Laska? Oh... I've been keeping an eye on her... *grins*

*Camera switches to Sarevok, currently sitting in Hell. Captain : 'Sarevok, slain brother of Laska'*

Sarevok : *snarls and decapitates an Abishai, then turns to the Camera* ... How'd you find me here in Hell anyway?

*camera switches to Jan, eating a turnip, sitting in a giant turnip with another giant turnip in the background. Caption : 'Jan Jansen, long-winded friend.'*

Jan : Laska? Oh, she'll go far. Not as far as my uncle Reggie, he was the first gnome on the moon, you see? He got there after he accidentally lit up his pipe in the Amnian storehouse, which was then packing the largest concentration of gunpowder on the Sword Coast. Apparently, the owners of the gunpowder are still looking for Reggie, but sadly, the Green Griffin in the Moon already got to him and... Hey! *Jan taps camera* Is this thing on?

*Camera pans to meet Laska again*

Flip : So, what are your feelings on being... sexually diverse?

Laska : What the hell kinda question is that? I love it, of course! Doubled my choice of sex-partners... And that's how I met Rose...

*Camera pans to Rose, who's standing in front of her easel, painting. Caption 'Roslynd Greenhill : Lover and confidente'*

Rose : I was happy that I was given the opportunity to be taken from a minor NPC to a full-fledge character with a history and a life of my own. And, of course, I'm deeply in love with Laska. I can't imagine my life without her at this point.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : My relationship with Rose was just something that... happened, you know? Oh, and Weyoun was so very nervous when our relationship deepened. Basically, he was a man in his early twenties writing about two women in love, which was a bit of a stigma according to him. He figured he'd be tarred and feathered out of the Attic, even though it's a community of very progressive and accepting individuals. Truth be told, because he's from a country where homophobia is almost non-existent and people can marry and live with whomever they want, he thought the world could be a bit less tolerant. But, truth be told, during two years of Tnt, he only got two homophobic emails, and one from a person that couldn't even spell properly.

*Camera switches to Korgan, who's sitting in the winecellar. Caption : 'Korgan, violent psycho-dwarf*

Korgan : Aye, we be 'earin' Rose an' Lasky's bed creakin' like crazy at night and they be actin' all innocent in the mornin's. HAR HAR!

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : Has Rose been a positive influence on Laska? I'd say so. Back in the early days of Tnt, and certainly before that, she used to sleep around a lot certainly. I'm not kidding. She could make some of the Matrons from my old home look like monks in comparison... Granted, I'm thinking of more abstinent Matrons, who are prudish to Drow standards, but they keyword here is Drow standards.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : ... I think I slept with more women than men, but I really don't keep a count. Besides, booze can make things fuzzy.

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : In fact, she slept with a lot of party-members too. Safana, Xan... It's surprising that she never pursued me, since I'm the most sexually experienced partymember.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : *chuckles* I tried to chat up Shar-Teel and offered her a wild night. She laughed in my face... *chuckles again.* A serious blow to my ego, mind you.

*Camera switches to Keldorn*

Keldorn : But then Rose came along, and she was a tempering influence on Laska. She drinks less, and is more committed to her life and her friends. I think she's slowly but surely maturing.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Tell Keldorn he's a pillock! I ain't never growing up! WOOOOO!!! *Laska's vest is sent flying*

Flip : *in front of the studio* Laska *gulp* continued the whole interview topless from that point. Still, this fearless reporter struggled to keep looking her in the eye, and I asked her and her friends, looking back at 100 episodes of Tnt, what they most liked and deeply disliked.

*Camera switches to Laska. The cameraman has less discipline than Flip, and often pans downward during the conversation*

Laska : Well, I really hated the cardboard props we had in the early eps, when we were dealing with all kind of budget constraints. You see, we didn't always have CGI Beholders. But, at least the dungeons and caves are made from proper styrofoam now. They look more real, but you still have to watch where you're punching.

Flip : Any more stories of the early days?

Laska : Well, I remember that Bodhi's new outfit which she wore a few eps back was not within our budget, so they stuck her into this polyester cat suit the first time she turned up. They never got the barf out, though. And if you look at the paintings Viconia hung in the house in the early eps, you'll see that they were reuses of the paintings from Keldorn's house. Also, we only had three zombies on the payroll, so if we wanted a horde of zombies to attack the party, we had to do shots of them with different costumes and make-up and mix it all up in the studio. And, of course, you'll notice little things in my bedroom to change. I suddenly got a fireplace in my bedroom and all that. Oh, yeah, we've got a bigger budget now, that's still fun. Of course, we're still kitbashing some of the background. Ever seen that drydocked boat in the slums? If you look closely, you'll see it's been made entirely out of match-sticks. Believe me, it was cheaper than a real one. Still, the Swiftwind took a real chunk out of our budget too. You might see some stock-footage at Spellhold as a result of that.

*Camera switches to Keldorn*

Keldorn : I could have lived without the problems in my family, but I gather it was for the better.

*Camera switches to Minsc*

Minsc : Oh, Minsc likes the kicking of the butt, yessir! And Boo, oh Minsc loves Boo.

Flip : I was thinking of more Tnt-specific elements.

Minsc : ... What's this 'Tnt', Boo?

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : Well, what I like about Tnt is that I've been allowed to grow and develop and still do my own thing. I feel I'm no longer the 'token' Drow I used to be at the beginning of the series, and was sorta given my own direction, with Art and worship and...

*Camera switches to Korgan.*

Korgan : What I be liking about Tnt? Oy, that would be the linkin' between girly sensitive deeper issues and manly extreme violence! HAR! HAR! HAR!

*Camera switches to Imoen.*

Imoen : Korgan really said that? *Imoen play-grunts* Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a big manly dwarf with no time for girly-stuff. Now, I'm gonna sit her for an hour scratchin' me groin, oh yeah, I be short stocky Neanderthal...

*Camera quickly switches back to Viconia, who is snarling in the lens and holds it in place with both her hands*

Viconia : If you cut me off one more time, disgusting male, I will make certain your camera will tape a nice documentary of the inside of your ass!!

*Camera switches to Dynaheir. Caption : 'Dynaheir. Mage and long-lost friend'*

Dynaheir : Well, it's to be alive again, that's for sure. If it's possible, might I direct a few words to the guys at Bioware?

Flip : Ermm, sure...

Dynaheir : HEY! THOU!!! YEAH, DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW! THOU ART A BUNCH OF SCUMSUCKING LOSERS WHO HAVE CONSENSUAL SEX WITH DONKEYS!!! DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT THOU KILLED ME OFF IN A SINGLE SENTENCE!! LISTEN UP, BIODORKS, WHY DOST THEE NOT GO **** THYSELVES, THOU BASTARDS!! *Dynaheir flashes 'the finger' to the camera, then calms down.* I thank thee for this opportunity.

*Camera switches to Jan*

Jan : What I love most about Tnt? That I get all the opportunity to tell my fine stories. Did I ever tell you about...

Flip : THANK you, mister Jansen.

*Camera switches to Keldorn*

Keldorn : What I like most about Tnt? The formed friendships, I think. We respect each other as a party and as friends. I think we've all grown beyond the more business-like casual approach some adventurers choose to adopt.

*Camera switches to Laska.*

Laska : *Still topless* What I love most about Tnt? Well, the house is nice. *grins* It's nice to have a place to call your own... but what I most love is that I get to be myself and enjoy myself to the max!

Flip : *back in the studio* But what does Tnt actually stand for?

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Point is nobody really knows? *chuckles* Maybe it's Tantric and Temporal or something.

*Camera switches to Keldorn*

Keldorn : Theodore and Timmy? *chuckles* I really don't know.

*Camera switches to Dynaheir*

Dynaheir : That 70's Show and The Soprano's? Or would that be a weird combination?

*Camera switches to Jan*

Jan : Oh, I got one! Tex and Tiolence!!

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : Sweet Tymora, I wish Weyoun had been a little clearer on that one in his titles. I honestly don't know. Tangerines and Tomatoes, maybe?

*Camera switches to Imoen*

Imoen : I'd tell you, but Laska'd wash out my mouth with soup.

Flip : Soup?

Imoen : Long story. I'll tell you later. *giggles*

*Camera switches to Korgan*

Korgan : Och! I be probably Tartar steak and Turbot?! Or would that be that tasty? HAR!

*Camera switches to Minsc*

Minsc : What's a Tnt? Do you know, Boo?

Flip : Stepping away from this subject for a moment, I decided to ask them about their working relationship with their scribe Weyoun.

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : Well, all things considering, he's basically a complete and utter imbecile.

*Camera switches to Korgan*

Korgan : Aye, 'e be a momma's boy and a ruddy poof, if you ask me. Ain't got no girl-friend fer the last four years. HAR!

*Camera switches to Keldorn*

Keldorn : He's... Oh, I can't. I was always taught that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all.

*Camera switches to Imoen*

Imoen : Just don't get him started on Star Trek, or you just won't get him to shut up again.

*Camera switches to Jan*

Jan : And you'd better not say anything about Enterprise in his presence, or he'll go on an everlasting rant about how he can't watch that show in a closed room for fear of drowning into his own vomit! Or how Enterprise is ripping up Star Trek history and is a disgrace to the series. He keeps on saying that Paramount thinks that if they stamp the Star Trek logo on a dogturd it will sell, and that explains the reason why Enterprise hasn't been cancelled yet. I mean, he can go on for hours like that, and it's just painful to listen to that tripe, I'm sorry. Far from me to make a political statement about it here. Now, about my auntie Gladys...

Flip : THANK you...

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Well, I like Weyoun, but I really think he needs a life. He doesn't even drink! Never HAS! Can you believe that? He must have been grown in a pod or something.

*Camera switches to Dynaheir*

Dynaheir : But despite all we put him through, he does get our story written. It's ironic that a female like Laska has a male scribe.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Yes, it is ironic. Perhaps it's to combat Mary-Sueism. Tell me, am I a Mary Sue? I'm not smarter than everyone I meet!

*Camera switches to Imoen*

Imoen : *giggles* Face it, she's as dumb as a rock!

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Oh, and not everyone I meet loves me. Heh, I know more people who hate my guts... problem is, I killed most of them already.

*Camera switches to Vierna and Aribeth, sitting in Weyoun's house watching TV. Caption : 'Friends of Laska, fellow main characters'*

Vierna : Laska's nice. Not Mary-Sue nice, but she's good to us.

Aribeth : We really enjoy commenting on stories on the Attic between the three of us. Much fun.

Vierna : We're really happy that Laska's story has gone so far already.

Aribeth : Yes... but now we must prod Weyoun to write about us some more.

Vierna : Right... Where's the blowtorch and noose?

Flip : (studio) I then asked them about their relationship with the two guestwriters of Tnt, Laufey and Asynca.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Oh, they were a pleasure to work with. Both very professional writers. We all loved doing 'Returned to sender', and loved hanging around Edwin and Dekaras at the afterparty. Though I wish more people in that story would have noticed me.

*Camera switches to Dynaheir*

Dynaheir : I got my first chance to confide in someone in 'Returned to Sender', for which I am grateful.

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : Got some beautiful paintings out of the deal.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : Asynca offered to do a rewrite of a part that Weyoun had written and hated. She did a wonderful job.

*Camera switches to Rose*

Rose : She really expanded on the lovescenes. And I ended up in the right arms for the night, which is always a good thing.

*Camera switches to Imoen*

Imoen : Of course I wasn't there yet when Asynca wrote that story, but if what Weyoun told me about her is true, I would have loved to meet her... and we would have gotten along fine.

Flip : (Studio)I also asked Laska about her relationships with other PC's from Attic-stories.

Laska : Oh, we get along fine. In fact, we recently all got together at PC-con. It was great fun seeing all the guys and dolls. We rented this huge festhall with lotsa booze, a podium and huge stage. Rini and I did a dance-act, and when I wasn't too drunk yet, I played a little dagger-toss with Adrian. Emma and I did some dancing, and Seline and I threw waterballoons into a the group of halflings having a family-reunion in the next room. Then, I did some armwrestling with Peri... damn, she's strong. Had quite a lot of wristpains when she slammed me down. Oh, we had some more fun. Tristan and I chatted about Anomen... lotsa gossip there, I tell you. Then, Thea gave us a nice lightshow with some of her spells. Then, Andaire and I coaxed some live out of the old jukebox in the corner and danced some more. I howled a bit with H'Kira. Then, I got into a drinking contest with Andorel, but we're still not sure who won, since we both passed out before the winner could be proclaimed. Ah, I also tried to get Jarran drunk, but he caught on... it might have something to do that I had quite a bit in me already... Hey, don't blame me, I just wanted to see if I could get him so drunk that he would sing 'It's raining men!'. But, we had to settle for 'Yesterday' which is also a good song.

Flip : No problems, conflicts?

Laska : Nah... Well, there was that one time where Ade demonstrated his Bhaalscream. Unfortunately, I was sitting right next to him, and my ears were ringing for an hour. No real conflicts, though, but I made him buy me a couple of drinks for hurting my sensitive elven ears.

Flip : (studio) What's to come in the future of Tnt? Let's try to see what we can pry from the cast.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : I'll lose my spirit soon. And, it won't be pretty, but, remember, Weyoun is always in for happy endings, even if things get really bad.

*Camera switches to Minsc*

Minsc : Lotsa kicking of evil asses and groins even!

*Camera switches to Dynaheir*

Dynaheir : There will be some changes to the official storyline from the game, that's for sure.

*Camera switches to Viconia*

Viconia : We will... return to my old home soon. *nods* It will be difficult.

*Camera switches to Keldorn*

Keldorn : I look forward to being with my family again, but we'll see what the story has in store for us.

*Camera switches to Jan*

Jan : Hey, this fake documentary reminds me of...

Flip : THANK you!

*Camera switches to Korgan*

Korgan : I get ta be RICH! I'll be gettin' a gold-plated axe... Are ye listening, Weyoun? If ye donnae comply, I be cuttin' yer legs off!

*Camera switches to Imoen*

Imoen : I'll get to pull Laska's arse out of the fire. For a change. *giggle* Oh, and we get to be sisters again! Oh, I dunno, it's kinda funny to think that Laska is such a tramp, but as soon as I even talk to someone, she comes over and starts to sharpen her sword... She says she's protecting my virginity, but it gets a bit annoying.

*Camera switches to Rose*

Rose : Our love will be tested severely in the next few months... *smiles* But Laska and I will overcome that, I'm sure.

Flip : (studio) Finally, I asked them what they'd like to see in the story in the future.

*Camera switches to Laska*

Laska : *smiles* More tattoos... and more violence... and more graphic lovescenes.

*Camera switches to Keldorn *

Keldorn : For Laska? Less tattoos, less violence, and less graphic lovescenes.

*Camera switches to Viconia.*

Viconia : *remains silent for a long time* Peace and...

*Camera switches to Imoen*

Imoen : I wanna be an ultra-powerful mage and slay dragons... without being a Mary-Sue, though.

*Camera switches to Minsc*

Minsc : Oh, Oh, I know! Everyone in the party should get a hamster so we they can all play in the little wheel.

*Camera switches to Jan*

Jan : Now if...

Flip : THANK you!

*Camera switches to Dynaheir*

Dynaheir : I want to destroy every vampire in the world, if I could. I'm currently auditioning for the new Buffy-game.

*Camera switches to Korgan*

Korgan : OY! I already be tellin' ye I wanna be RICH. Are ye DEAF!!!

Flip : NO! Keep him away from me, AAAHHH!

*camera fades*

*Camera switches to Rose*

Rose : A child... A baby for me and Laska to raise... somewhere in the future at least. I'd also like a complete set of steak-knives.

*Camera switches back to Viconia*

Viconia : *In a state of utter fury* I WARNED YOU CUTTING ME OFF, MALE!! I WARNED YOU OF THE CONSEQUENCES!!! *An anguished scream follows, as the footage is quickly censored. The sound is suddenly very muffled*

Flip : (in studio, with a black eye) Finally, we asked all of them to come together so that Laska could say something to Attic.

*Camera switches to party, gathered in the backyard*

Korgan : OY!

Flip : Get that FREAK away from me!

Laska : *still topless* Okay, first of all, I want to thank our diligent beta-reader Sarah J., who makes sure all Tnt's appear on the novel-page in good shape. Thanks Sarah! *Laska gives two thumbs up*

Flip : *looks at topless Laska* I once was blind but now can see...

Keldorn : *hisses* Laska, please! Put something on around those things!

Laska : Errrmm, no... *grins at Keldorn*

Imoen : Give it up, Keldy. She never listens to anyone anyway.

Laska : But I always want to thank all our readers, and all the people of the Attic. Without you and your encouragement, I'm sure we would have never made it to a hundred Tnt's. But now, we're going to see the story through to the end, and then some. We love you all!

Flip : 'We love you all'. That said, we return to the studio, wishing Laska and her party all the luck in the world. This is Flip Quasar...

Korgan : OY, Flip! Don't ye be steppin' on me beard!!!

Flip : Sorry, I didn't mean, NOOOOO!!! *camera crackles, sounds of the party laughing can be heard while Keldorn storms to keep Korgan from punching Flip.*

Flip : (Studio. His face is a bloody mess.) This is Flip Quasar for Donkeybollocks News, signing off.

What's left to say? Thank you all for your interest in Tnt. Without your support, I would have never made it to one hundred parts. There will, of course, be many more. Thank you all!

---Weyoun, with love.