Cards Reshuffled

Have you ever missed somebody so much that you keep seeing them everywhere, hearing their voice, and feeling their hand touching yours? You call out a greeting, but there is nobody there. You laugh, and expect a familiar voice to join in, but only silence answers. You turn, but the faces meeting you are all those of strangers, not the ones you want to see. You reach out, but you touch only emptiness. When you know what that is like, then you know the meaning of longing.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

The sky was getting darker, and the air was hot and stifling. It seemed to scream for rain, but so far there had been none.

Now, if this was Thay, the weather wizards would already have dealt with that annoyance,Edwin Odesseiron thought, as he gave the heavens a disapproving look, one that would have told any passing storm or rain god that here was one much more capable of organizing the weather. Of course, the deluded and barely cognizant barbarians of this stinking and pus-dripping sore of a city wouldn’t stoop so low as to use magic. Or not officially. Now, those Cowled Clods, they’re a different thing altogether of course. Yes, they’re perfectly ‘respectable’.

The Red Wizard was sitting in his private room in one of the rather less respectable establishments of Athkatla, the City of Coin. He had been attempting to study his spellbook, but the heat was annoying him. Not that he wasn’t used to this sort of thing of course, but it wasn’t the same. I wouldn’t have to put up with these accommodations at home, and our magical cooling systems would eliminate the risk of accidentally injuring myself. Edwin winced as he remembered his recent experimentation with an applied use for the ‘Cone of Cold’ spell. Only a minor, low-level version of the spell, but the frostbites had still been extremely painful, not to mention embarrassing. He was certain that priest at the Temple of Oghma had been sniggering behind his back.

Edwin sighed, staring morosely out the window, his long fingers tapping nervously against the page of his book. For one moment, his imagination almost made him hear the familiar and sarcastic voice of his mentor, directly behind his back. It does strike me as a rather poetic form of justice, boy. After all, you did your best to acquaint me with all sorts of interesting cold injuries, not to mention the fascinating experience of closely investigating what a yeti smells like.

His heart skipping a beat, Edwin twisted around in his chair, half expecting to see his friend and teacher look back at him, an amused glint in his black eyes. But of course the room was empty apart from himself. The lengthening shadows were as empty as his hopes. No well-known face looked back at him from them. Foolish, Edwin thought, his mouth twisting into a self mocking smile. He is far from here, very far. As…is she. I must deal with things as they are, not with what I wish they would be.

And there were certainly many things that needed to be dealt with. Coming to Amn had seemed like a reasonable idea, at the time. What with Amn’s well-known fear and mistrust of magic, it would seem like the last place a Red Wizard declared renegade would want to hide, and so he had decided that it would serve admirably. What he hadn’t counted on was exactly how much inconvenience that fear and mistrust would be able to cause him.

The only legal mage craft in Amn was performed by the elitist society of the Cowled Wizards, who regulated Amnian magic with an iron fist, and allowed no competition. True, a visiting wizard could always buy one of those ‘licenses to practice magic’, for an extortionist price. The drawback was that such a license, that needed to be carried at all times, also carried a tracking spell, allowing the Cowled Ones to keep track of any ‘possible threats’. Obviously that was no alternative, even if he had had the funds to buy one. Which he hadn’t, since an enterprising pickpocket had divested him of all his travel money on the first day after reaching Athkatla.

Edwin had rapidly learnt that the City of Coin was not a good place to be if you lacked said yellow, hard and shiny things. Without a license, he would get hunted by the Cowled Wizards if he tried to practice magic, even for such an instinctual thing as defending himself against a mugger. Without money, he couldn’t get a license. And without a way to use his magic, he would never acquire the money needed. Magic wasn’t merely what he did, it was what he was. He had no means of supporting himself without it, nor would he ever stand for it. They have no right to deny me the use of my own wizardry. I will not be their trained monkey, performing only as those pompous, mediocre fools direct me. Magic is my life.

So, he had come up with an alternative means of employment. Since the road of official magic was closed to him, unofficial would serve. The Shadow Thieves had seemed like an excellent choice of employer. They were powerful, they were wealthy, and as long as he was useful to them they would keep the Cowled Wizards off his back. He would earn back as much money as he needed, and then move on to more friendly ground before he Red Wizards were able to locate him. Yes, it had seemed like a reasonable plan. Until he met Mae’Var, of course.

A fleeting shadow crossed the wizard’s face as he contemplated his new employer. He was perfectly at ease with working with Shadow Thieves. And he certainly was not in the slightest bothered by Mae’Var’s background as an assassin, before becoming a leader of this branch of the powerful organization. No, the problem was Mae’Var’s…hobby.

And to think I used to find father’s little fancies objectionable, Edwin thought, his dark eyes haunted as he recalled some of the things he had heard Mae’Var gloating about…and some of the things he personally had caught glimpses of. He had a feeling that those were only the barest hint of what Mae’Var was really capable of, and he certainly had no wish to learn more. The man savored the pain of others as if it was a fine wine, and Edwin had no wish whatsoever to be the savored one.

What he really wanted was to leave the sadistic Guild Master behind for good. Far behind. But at the moment, that seemed to be quite impossible. He had agreed to work for Mae’Var, and he knew that the rogue would hold him to it. Mae’Var would make him stay whether he really needed him or not, simply to make a point. And Edwin didn’t doubt for one second that the point would be one of a sharp blade, and that it would be made upon his own perfect body.

I could try to run. But without the funds I wouldn’t get far. The Shadow Thieves are one of the major powers of Amn, their agents are everywhere. They would find me. Or the Cowled Wizards would. Or…my old superiors. That they haven’t yet doesn’t mean that they aren’t still hunting. The Red Wizards never give up, and the Zulkir will not forget about my going against his orders.

Edwin got up from the table, walking nervously back and forth, face twisted into a silent snarl. He did make certain to close the shutters on the window before moving in front of it though. Another valuable childhood lesson. Never pass before a lit candle or lamp if there is a window in front of you. To the assassin watching from outside, your silhouette will make a perfect target, even if he is a mere apprentice. If he is skilled, the candle won’t be necessary, even in darkness.

Edwin had found himself remembering all sorts of interesting scraps of knowledge like that during the lonely days and nights he had spent on the run. He had always been fascinated by his teacher’s other profession, and had frequently pestered him for information. He’d never imagined that he’d be forced to face this sort of practical test of his knowledge however. So far the Cowled Wizards had made two attempts on his life, one of them magical, the other one not, narrowly avoided. He might be an ally of the Shadow Thieves, but that didn’t mean the Cowled Ones intended to let him get away with defying them if they could catch him alone and unprotected. There was one in particular…one Rayic Gethras. Very persistent, that man. The curse I put on his underwear was very entertaining though. Very entertaining, that Shrinking Charm. Almost worth it all. And the Red Wizards would be tracking him, tracking him to punish him for his disobedience…and he was unable to leave this city, forced to stay cooped up in this sweltering Thieves’ Guild and wait for…what? Some terrible doom, probably. Something is coming for me. Or…somebody?

Edwin shook his head. Where had that thought come from? No wonder I am getting paranoid, with all these enemies searching for me.

Arrows, crossbow bolts, darts and daggers. So many ways of killing a wizard who let his guard down even for a second. And poison of course. Mustn’t forget poison. And he didn’t. These days, he hardly dared to eat at all. Once he’d convinced himself that he had been poisoned, after waking up in the middle of the night with terrible stomach cramps, like a knife twisting around in his belly. As it turned out, he had merely been sick with worry, and had lived to suffer the embarrassment of having that explained to him by a kind cleric whose suggested treatment had been ‘to get a change of scenery in order to be able to relax better’. Edwin allowed himself a small and satisfied smirk as he remembered the cleric’s reaction to an impressive torrent of Thayvian curses.

Once again, Edwin allowed himself the luxury of longing for his teacher’s presence. Dekaras would know exactly what to do in this sort of situation, Edwin didn’t doubt that for one second. Except, of course, he’s not available. And if he was here, he might well want to kill me himself. If only I could have explained why I did what I did…

But that had not been an option, any more than it had been with the other significant person in his life, the other one he had purposefully driven away.

Edwin sighed again and stared into the candle flame. It was hot, but the heat was bad enough that it didn’t make much difference. Gazing into the flickering fire, for a few seconds he thought he saw a pair of gleaming golden eyes, just a little bit larger and more slanted than those of a human. Eyes and hair like flame…

What would she say if she was here now? Probably nothing particularly pleasant. And as his active imagination started working again, the wizard could almost hear a musical voice speaking to him, could almost see golden eyes wide with hurt and anger. You walked out on me, Eddie. You said you would stay, you swore to do so. And then you just sneaked off like that, not even having the decency to make it face to face. Just one lousy letter…didn’t you think I deserved more than that?

For a second he almost expected her to come striding out of the flame, her face animated with anger, as beautiful as ever. But the flame remained empty, as did the shadows.

I have to face the truth. They aren’t coming back, not ever. And that was how I arranged it. It all went according to plan. It…still hurts though.

No, he would have to be realistic. To get by, a day at a time, until he finally had what he needed to get away from here and go…somewhere else. He would still be alone, but at least his magic wouldn’t make him an outlaw. Halruua would be interesting. I always wanted to learn some of those secrets. Except…I would have wanted to show my incredible prowess off to them. Either of them. But preferably both. Power would still be tantalizing, but it…isn’t the same. But I have no choice. They are lost, and I cannot find them.

Edwin suddenly stopped his pacing, distracted. He was still nervous, still tense, still frustrated and filled with longing. But…somehow…something had changed. He couldn’t say what, but he could sense it.

Outside a wind started blowing, freshening the air. In the distance, the first faint rumblings of distant thunder could be heard over Athkatla, heralding change.

Something is coming. Or somebody?

The thoughts floated unbidden to the top of Edwin’s mind, he knew not where from. But he knew it was the truth all the same. Yes. Soon, things will change. Hopefully for the better.