Makings of a Monster

Winski went to see Sarevok, who was still too exhausted to be out of his bed. He was carrying a tray Jelena had prepared for the boy, in spite of Winski's objections and pointing out that she, too, should rest still. Well, given Winski's gastronomic excellence it probably was a good thing. This way the boy might actually eat some of it. As for Reiltar, Winski had greeted him with an icy nod without looking him in the eyes. The quiet and the strain in the household was palpable. But some shift of power had occurred, Winski was pleased to note. Reiltar didn't look so confident any more. He customarily walked at his house like a cruel landlord watching his servants work, but now there was an insecure air in his manner. Winski suspected Allonia had something to do with it. He still blushed in shame thinking of her sacrifice.

Sarevok was weak, but conscious. Winski gently propped him half-sitting on the pillows and stayed as he ate a little.
- "I don't know how appropriate it is anymore to call you little one, but all the same I feel tempted. What you went through was a horrible thing, and it was all my fault."
- "It wasn't your fault. You didn't beat me. He did. And he cut mother's finger..." the boy started to cry profusely at the memory.
- "The finger has been healed. Allonia brought a cleric here and he healed us all."
Sarevok's eyes lightened.
- "However, you are correct in that he beat you, but it was my fault nevertheless," continued Winski. "I was ill because I have been drinking far too much alcohol, and you got so mercilessly punished for caring for me. And your mother, for caring for you." He had averted his eyes from Sarevok's, blushing and staring intently his own lap. Gods, this was painful.
- "But... the bastard has money. A lot of it. He says so himself to the other people, though to us he always nags about spending it. Why didn't HE bring the cleric?"
Oh, Sarevok. Do you still have illusions, little one?
- "Think back, little one. The information at the moment was that I was ill. He didn't bring a cleric, because he didn't give a damn about it. And about the only thing I can say for him is that I really don't see why he should."
- "Don't say that! I love you! I think mother does too!"
If possible, Winski's blush deepened even more. So far he had carefully avoided thinking about that particular claim Allonia had made, and concentrated on hating himself for initiating the whole mess.
- "Um. I don't feel worthy to be loved by anyone right now. But I very much thank you for saying that." The man and the boy curled next to each other and were silent for a while, both savoring the fact that they still were alive and well to do so.

- "Winski?"
- "Yes?"
- "You won't drink so much anymore, will you? I have killed people and all but I was never so afraid of anything but that you would die. There is this darkness, this terrible darkness inside of me, but I also love the darkness. You can see it, can't you?"
Winski nodded.
- "If I didn't have you... nobody could help me. It would be just me and the darkness. Mother can't see it, she wouldn't think it is me. She just thinks I'm her child she wants to protect and take care of, she can't fathom a thing like that."
- "I think you are right about that. She is the mother, not just a mother. And mothers never see the darker side of their cubs."
- "Exactly. She could never help me with the darkness. She would deny it, and just make me another cup of tea and give me a hug." Sarevok made a faint, gentle smile, which Winski joined.
- "So please don't drink so much anymore. I have been a long time wondering just how much you can do that. First it looked like you were drinking it, but it has been a long time like it drinks you, and makes you deader and deader every day. I couldn't take losing you..." he started crying again, and Winski realized again how selfish he indeed had been. But could he make a promise like that? Surely a little relaxing brandy now and then couldn't hurt, and it was not like he was addicted to it or anything... but Sarevok was more important than any of that.
- "I promise, little one. And this darkness of yours... something Allonia said made me think... we need to explore your whole life more closely, as I have drawn pretty much a dead end with the demonology. Wasn't exactly a waste, though. I'm quite an expert now. But never mind that. We will talk tomorrow. Now you are too tired."
- "Was Allonia mad at you?"
Winski smirked.
- "You could say that she was. And richly deservedly so. Rest now, and tomorrow we'll talk."