In The Cards

Compliments can be wonderful, but they needn't be the most blatant kind, appealing as that can be when your self-esteem needs raising. Instead, I find that I have a taste for compliments that are more…complex and convoluted.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

The Cloakwood Forest was deep and lush. The ground lay mostly in shadow beneath the tall trees, but here and there some sunlight managed to trickle through the leaves high above, creating dappled and flickering flecks of light and shadow on the ground. It was quiet and peaceful, with only the odd birdcall or noisy squirrel to break the silence.

"Is this not calming and restful?" Jaheira asked. "Surely, child, a forest like this one must appeal to you?"

"A little, I guess," Rini said. "But I'm really not a forest person, Jaheira, you know that. Elven blood or not." She paused. "Jaheira? Do you know any elves? I've always been curious about them, but I don't really know that much about them."

The druid thought for a second before she answered. "I will be happy to teach you what I know about the elven culture and language. However, you would be wise to remember that not all elves are alike, no more than all humans are."

"Oh, I know that. Still…I can't help wanting to meet some. The elven blood is part of me too, same as the human." And the divine, but let's not go into that at the moment.

Kitten? Softpaws asked. This is very important to you, isn't it? The cat looked up at the bard, her eyes glittering like emeralds.

Yes, it is. It's just…so many humans despise those of mixed blood. I've never felt that I was one of them. And when I was a child I used to imagine that maybe elves were different. That…maybe with them I would be allowed to belong. A childish dream, I know, but I can't seem to let go of it.

Dreams are important. But you already belong. You belong to me.

Oh. Right. I'd forgotten about that part.

Silly kitten. A cat doesn't wait for others to tell her where she belongs. She decides that herself. Still, I'm sure you will learn. With a brief flick of her tail the cat slipped into the shadowy underbrush. A few moments later there was a tiny scream. Oh, very nice, Softpaws said along the mental link. Nice, juicy mouse. Would you like some?

Ah. No thanks, Softy. I'm quite full.

"It must be strange not to know your roots," Edwin remarked. The Red Wizard had rid himself of the black robe and once again proudly flaunted his signature color. "Ancestry is very important in Thay, and the Odesseirons are an old Family. I have more ancestors than I really know what to do with. You could have some of them I suppose. (I'm sure they're all moldy and decayed by now anyway, hardly very interesting company. Unless one were to reanimate them. Now there's a thought…)"

"Interesting suggestion," Rini said. "Were you offering to go back to Thay and dig up some of your ancestors for me, or to ask your parents to adopt me into the family?" She smiled to take the edge off her words. "Much as I like you, Eddie, I don't really think I want you to be my brother. Sarevok is all the brother I need. I'd rather have you as my friend."

"Ah. Yes. Certainly. What I meant to say was that while family connections are certainly very important and useful, they will only get you so far. Skill is what is really important if you want to not only survive, but to gain power. That, I know for certain. (And I most definitely don't want you to be my sister either.)"

Was that a compliment he just told me? Zaerini thought. With Edwin, it's always difficult to tell for sure. "I'm sure you're right," she said. "That's not exactly what I meant though. The elf part of me is a part I don't really know that well. I just want to know myself better, that's all. And I figure talking with an elf or two would be the best way to go about that." She smiled a little wanly. "Assuming I meet up with any that want to share their ways with a half-elf, of course."

"If they don't, then they don't deserve your attention in the first place," Edwin snarled, his face furious. "If they are imbeciles who cannot see past your mixed blood then they don't even deserve to have you spit in their ugly faces. (Fireballs would be too good for such vermin. Much too swift a death. An Acid Arrow directed at their most sensitive body parts might be entertaining though.)"

"Thank you," the bard said, with genuine affection in her voice. "That really means a lot to me, you know." For some strange reason this simple statement caused the Red Wizard to trail off into incoherent mutterings. He did look rather pleased however.

As the companions passed deeper into the forest they suddenly came upon an open clearing. A small wooden cabin had been built there. It looked very neat and orderly, with a gravel path leading up to the door and flowers growing on both sides on it. A man was standing just outside the door, looking like he was waiting for somebody. He seemed to be middle-aged, with completely white hair and a broad face with an overly large and square chin. The leather armor he wore was beautiful and looked new, and his scarlet cloak was fastened with a large gold brooch in the shape of a lion that declared him a wealthy man, perhaps a noble.

"You!" he shouted in a voice that Zaerini immediately classified as 'foppish'. "Savages! Approach at your peril and learn some manners, brutes!" Then he took a closer look at the adventurers and his scowl melted away. "Oh, I apologize for my rudeness," he said. "I mistook you for someone else. Let me introduce myself, I am Aldeth Sashenstar. You must understand that at the moment I'm under a terrible amount of stress. You see my dear fellows, there is a group of uncouth savages that has declared their intention of killing my friends and I. I've been holed up in this cabin for several days, and have lacked the wherewithal to try and make an escape. Perhaps you kind sirs would help a fellow in trouble?"

"Sirs?" Zaerini asked, her voice chilly. "What a very interesting way of putting things."

"W-we might be a-a-able to help," Khalid hastily said and placed himself between the bard and the noble. "What i-is it that you w-want?"

"Good men!" Aldeth cheerfully said, blissfully unaware of the murderous looks directed at him from Zaerini and Jaheira. "I'm glad you had the sense of decency to help a man in my situation. Let me explain my predicament. My friends and I come here every year to do some sport hunting. This year however, a group of woodland savages threatened us with bodily harm if we did not stop our hunting trip. Being civilized men we realized that it's well within our rights to hunt where we damn well please. After a few more days of hunting the crass woodmen lost all pretense of humanity and murdered Elban, one of my oldest friends. I'm sure that they plan to attack our cottage here, so we had best be prepared."

"Actually I'm not a 'good man'," Rini said, still glaring at the foolish nobleman. "And since I'm neither 'good' nor a 'man' I really don't see why I or my friends should risk our lives assisting you, particularly for free. You could just pack up and leave, you know."

"But I cannot," Aldeth protested. "They patrol the area regularly and…" His face suddenly became gray with terror. "Oh no. There they are!"

Three men were walking into the clearing. They were all dressed in green and brown, colors that allowed them to melt into the forest easily, and their hair and beards were shaggy and unkempt. Druids, most probably. Their leader was a tall fellow whose sour face made him look as if he were permanently sucking on a lemon. "Trespassers and butchers of our wood," he called out in a gravely voice. "I, Seniyad, have come to administer the punishment that you have brought down upon yourselves. Yet, who are the men that stand beside you? With them we have no quarrel."

Men? Rini thought. What is it with the people in this wood? "Excuse me," she said in a chillingly polite voice, though her rage was starting to simmer beneath the surface. "Some of us happen not to be 'men' in case you didn't notice. In fact, out of the five of us only two are male. You did notice that, I hope? You druids know about natural stuff, you should know that there are two genders unless you somehow grow out of acorns. Or did you just assume that our leader had to be male?"

Seniyad frowned. "I do not know who you are," he said, "but it is now to you that I speak; this man has most likely duped you into protecting his sorry hide. He has most likely not told of the druid his friends have slain in cold blood. I will allow you to rethink your earlier decision and leave this man to his most deserved fate."

"Aw, come on," Imoen said. "We can't just let you kill him like that! He's not even doing anything to defend himself, see?" Aldeth, in fact, was shivering like leaf and his teeth were chattering wildly. "Can't we all be friends instead?"

"Yes," Jaheira said. "Preserving the balance does not mean condoning slaughter, not even of fools."

Rini wouldn't have thought it possible, but Seniyad's face turned even more sour at this and when next he spoke he was actually foaming at the mouth. "You have made your choice fools," he screamed, "now you will suffer together with your hunter friend."

The three strange druids started chanting together, but Jaheira was too quick for him, summoning powerful lightning from the sky that made Seniyad scream with pain as it struck him. A bright sphere of light appeared above Edwin's outstretched hand and hit one of the other druids in the face, stunning him into insensibility. Imoen was rapidly firing arrow after arrow to interrupt the druids' spellcasting, while Khalid engaged the third druid. Zaerini thought for a moment and then settled upon one of the poison arrows she had left. Once it had struck home Seniyad didn't look sour anymore. He looked quite peaceful actually. Then again, corpses often do. The remaining two druids didn't last long once their leader was down.

"I…I g-give you my gratitude for the aid you have given me," Aldeth stammered. "If you ever travel to Baldur's Gate, come to the Merchant's League and I will aid you in any way I can in order to show you how grateful I truly am."

"Good," Rini remarked over her shoulder as she walked out of the clearing, her friends by her side. "You can start by changing your pants. It looks like you need it."

"You all right?" Zaerini asked Jaheira once she was certain Aldeth couldn't hear her. "It must have been pretty difficult for you to fight other druids."

The other woman nodded. "I…am well," she said. "I would have preferred to avoid combat, but it was not to be." She smiled briefly. "And those other druids are not the ones I swore to Gorion that I would aid, nor do I think I would have wanted to. Serving the balance does not mean slaying people for killing a few deer."

"Their reasoning is flawed anyway," Edwin remarked. "It's not as if human beings aren't part of the natural order. I fail to see why humans shouldn't be allowed to hunt when other predators are. By applying that sort of logic druids should also kill wolves and bears."

Jaheira gave the wizard an appreciative look. "Yes," she said. "That is quite true. Now, if we were talking about randomly slaughtering huge numbers of animals, then druids should naturally intervene somehow. But a small group of hunters like this one can hardly make a dent in the animal population of a forest like the Cloakwood. It is not only unjust to attack them for it, it is also foolish and will only breed resentment against druids everywhere." She paused. "You know, wizard, for all our differences I must say you are not entirely hopeless. You certainly possess a keen mind, and you have proved loyal to our cause thus far."

"And for all our differences, druid, I must say you aren't completely stupid. At least you know better than to join forces with people who think personal hygiene means changing the dead twigs in their beards for fresh ones. (And she also knows better than to turn on our leader, or so it seems for now. I suppose I must let her live then, annoying as she is.)"

The party could hear the rush of rapidly flowing water coming from the north and headed that way. It wasn't long before they came upon a wide river, too swift and deep for them to cross. Khalid and Jaheira knew that there should be a bridge close by however, and after they had followed the river upstream for a while they came upon it. Hardly had the adventurers set foot upon the bridge before they heard a merry voice call out to them.

"Ho travelers!" it said. "Hold a moment!" The speaker was standing on the bridge, boldly facing the group. An elf! Zaerini thought, her heart taking a small leap within her chest. That's an elf! And so it was. The man in front of them had the slender build and pointed ears of the elves, and a rather good-looking face beneath a thick shock of brown hair. He was dressed in leather armor and carried a large bow, and once he had taken his measure of the group he gave the bard a dazzling white and toothy grin.

"It's refreshing to find other people in this wood," the stranger said. "And charming ladies too, unlike those unpleasant druids I spotted earlier. Not the sort to catch a man's eye, and so it is a great pleasure to see a fair face or three. My name is Coran: thief and archer! I've been alone in the wilderness for far too long. I wouldn't mind returning to the big city but I have yet to collect my bounty. I'd share the reward with the lot of you, if you would help hasten the hunt. You interested in hearing more?"

"Perhaps," Rini said, smiling in spite of herself. The elf was being totally ridiculous of course, with all that flattery, but he was an elf, and so he interested her. And he was rather amusing too. "I suppose there is no harm in hearing your proposal."

"Good," Coran said, winking at her. "It comes as no great surprise that you are as wise as you are lovely, sweet lady. The deal is this: I've been hired out by the mayor of Beregost to hunt down a great winged dragon that's been plaguing the caravan routes. He's offered 2 000 gold for its head. Now before you get cold feet, let me allay your fears. The only descriptions of the beast have always mentioned its deadly barbed tail. From what I know about dragons they don't have barbs on their tails - that's something unique to wyverns. So all we have to do is find this wyvern's nest and kill it. Our only worries are if it has friends over for dinner! So what is your decision, yea or nay?"

"We are on an errand of our own," the bard said. "But if we should come across this wyvern I don't see why we shouldn't help you out with it. Why don't you come with us for now? We seem to be heading in the same direction, and it seems to me that we can help each other."

"Excellent!" Coran exclaimed. "I do not doubt that we shall face many grave dangers together, you have that air of passion and peril about you that speaks to my heart. But as I have always said, the storm is always preferable to the calm." Before the half-elf had the time to react he had taken her hand in his and was bending over it, kissing it lightly. "Amin naa lle nai, lirimaer. I am yours to command, lovely one."

"Ah…" Zaerini said, hoping that her mouth wasn't gaping open. "That's…great. Really great." At…at least this elf seems able to overlook my mixed blood. More than overlook, actually. I'm not blushing, am I? She gave her friends a slightly desperate look. Khalid looked sympathetic, Jaheria disapproving, Imoen very much amused. As for Edwin, he was quietly grinding his teeth, too angry to speak, and the look in his dark eyes spoke of a deep desire to pull Coran's lips backwards over his head until they met with his own posterior, and then nail them to that spot with a rusty nail dipped in poison.