In The Cards

If you want to fight the undead there are a few things you should keep in mind. Pitchforks are useless, unless made from wood and used on a vampire. Sunlight is great, but rarely available down a dungeon or in a midnight cemetery. Garlic will only keep away the particular form of undead known as the 'Lounge Lizard' and not even the worst specimens of those. But there's one thing that usually makes them freak, and that's fire. Unless we're talking about an Elemental Lich, but I'll cover those later.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

"But Monty", Xzar whined, "why don't we just go inside and have a word with him?" The grotesquely tattooed mage launched a sickly sweet smile at his halfling companion. "Just a friendly little chat about iron." He giggled. "And if he doesn't want to talk I'll eat his liver with a nice Chianti and some fava beans."

Montaron wasn't amused by his companion's antics. Glaring up at the mad wizard the scruffy halfling sighed with exasperation. "I keep tellin' ye, wizard, that one is dangerous. If we both wanna get back to Zhentil Keep in one piece we'd better make up a better plan before we go inside. I don't trust much in dumb luck when I'm about to go up against an acolyte of the Mad God."

"Mad?" Xzar chuckled, a disturbing gleam in his eyes. "MAD? Those that the gods wish to destroy they first make mad. But what if a god makes himself mad? Oh, glorious madness, pure insanity, portal to uncharted realms! Let us fetch moonlight in pails for our drink and let us taste the flesh of the divine!"

"Maybe later"; Montaron said with a sour twist to his mouth. "Right now there's this priest of Cyric that we need to deal with, and I don't much fancy tackling him on my own, so could ye just SETTLE DOWN!"

"Ah, but you needn't be alone, Monty", the wizard responded with a knowing smile. "They are always around you know, watching us. The Eyes! The Eyes from Beyond Time! They watch and they watch, and there are mouths as well, whispering, gibbering, screaming for those of us with ears to hear it." He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Besides, I'm perfectly ready to do battle, as is my new friend here." He patted the arm of the large zombie that waited patiently at his side. "Aren't you, my dear friend?"

"Unnnhhh…" Abduh groaned, his black lips moving sluggishly as what remained of his mind struggled to form the words. "Yeeessss, Massssterrrr…"

"Goody!" Xzar exclaimed, clapping his hands. "You see, Monty?"

"I don't trust that thing", the halfling thief complained. "We should get rid of it. It's been nothing but trouble so far."

"No! He's mine. He'll behave."

"I hope so. But if it rips the limbs off another miner it's out! We don't need to draw that sort of attention to ourselves."

"Okey Dokey", Xzar said, pouting a little. "But I think you're just being jealous because I've got a new friend… Did I ever tell you about the time I made friends with a jester?"

Montaron made an impatient noise. "What, the freakishly pale one with the crazy laugh?" he asked. "The one who liked to poison random strangers for fun and who thought he was being persecuted by a giant bat?"

"That's right, Monty. He had the right idea, you know. If you don't stop being so gloomy nobody will want to be your friend." The wizard patted his companion on the head with a bright smile.

"Oh, go suck yer blade…", Montaron grumbled.

Zaerini had heard enough. These two were obviously Zhentarim, the comment about Zhentil Keep said as much. That meant they were even more dangerous than she had guessed when she first met them. So the Black Network were taking an active interest in investigating the iron crisis? That meant somebody else had to be behind it. And then there was Abduh's current status as an undead, which surprised the half-elf greatly. Well, however he had managed to wind up as an animated undead he was still much the same as he had always been, and she would prefer to avoid his company.

Unfortunately her own companions chose that particular moment to approach from behind. As soon as Imoen saw the zombie she gasped loudly. "Abduh?!" she exclaimed in a voice of utter horror. The undead warrior turned his head, lifeless eyes resembling shallow pools in a grey and sagging face. Then the eyes lit up with dull red fire.

"Yoooouuuu!", he said. "You paaay for this!" He poked a meaty finger into the hole decorating his forehead and then paused to sniff and lick the appendage. "I got hole in head 'cos of youuuu!"

"Immy?" Zaerini asked out of the corner of her mouth as she tried to ready her bow without being obvious about it.

"It wasn't me!" Imoen squeaked. "It was…it was a nameless stranger. Yeah. That's who it was."

Meanwhile, Abduh wasn't the only one who was looking upset. Xzar's burning gaze had fixed upon the red-haired half-elf with unnerving intensity. "My scrolls!" he hissed. "My precious scrolls! You stole them! Thief! Thief! Stole them right out of my pockets you did, yes you did!"

"Er…", Rini tried. "Would you believe me if I told you I have an evil twin who keeps doing these terrible things and then tries to blame them on me?"

"No! Thief! Liar! Give me back my scroooolllsssss!" The mad wizard's final word dissolved into an inarticulate hissing noise as his hands started moving in the intricate patterns necessary to cast a spell.

Somehow I didn't think you would, Zaerini thought. Then she threw herself aside and rolled to the ground as a round object came hurling through the air towards her. It closely resembled a human skull, and it exploded with a bang loud enough to make her ears start ringing. A small piece of shrapnel hit her cheek and she felt a burning pain as blood started trickling down her neck. Meanwhile Montaron was readying his crossbow, and Khalid and Jaheira hurriedly charged across the bridge to try to intercept him. Abduh got between them and their target however, and the large zombie roared in his gurgling voice as he drew his sword.

Imoen fired an arrow, one of the ones taken off the kobolds earlier. It trailed a long streak of red fire as it hissed through the air, and though it didn't hit Abduh it made the undead man shy back with sudden fear.

"Fire!" Zaerini cried out. "He's afraid of fire!" She immediately drew a fire arrow of her own and saw her friend do the same. They didn't have much time. Xzar's spells were being constantly interrupted by Edwin as the Red Wizard launched Magic Missile after Magic Missile at him, but sooner or later the Necromancer would likely be able to get one through. Backup was needed. The bard and her human friend launched their arrows at the exact same time, and they both had the desired effect. Rini's struck Abduh in the chest, and while it wasn't enough to seriously harm him it made him bellow with sudden panic and drop his sword. Imoen's arrow pierced the cowl of Xzar's robe. It didn't hurt the wizard himself, but it made the garment catch fire.

"Aaah!" Xzar screamed, batting ineffectually at his smoking robe. "I'm burning! Monty, help! Put me out!" But Montaron was quite busy, as Jaheira and Khalid were now moving in to engage him, and the two half-elves were enough to keep the halfling occupied. He swore angrily and dropped his crossbow, drawing his short sword instead. "You! Zombie!" Xzar shrieked. "You must save us all! Put this fire out!"

Abduh wasn't any more of an intellectual giant in death than he'd been in life, but he knew his Master's Voice and he hastened to obey. One fleshy arm encircled the waist of the wizard, another gripped Montaron's collar. Then the flaming zombie warrior threw himself into the underground river, pulling two frantically screaming Zhentarim along with him.

Zaerini hurriedly ran to the edge of the bridge and looked down. The trio bobbed to the surface again, and they were rapidly being carried along by the current. Fortunately for the two Zhentarim Abduh still floated, and they clung to him like to an empty barrel.

"You…you stupid zombie!", she could hear Montaron yell. "I'll * glub * I'll rip your head off and use it for a chamberpot!"

Then Xzar's mad laughter drifted into the dark air. "Oh, but what a ride, Monty! I've never ridden a zombie before! The dead, they all float, and now we float too! We float Monty, we float!" Silvery clear giggles trickled into Zaerini's sensitive ears like poison. "Bye-bye, Zaaeeeriiiniii", the Zhentish wizard called out in a sing-song voice as he disappeared around the corner. "See you, wouldn't want to be you…" After a while even the laughter faded away.

"Well, that was seriously creepy", Rini said, still staring into the dark water.

"A most unpleasant encounter", Edwin agreed. "Magic and madness is a dangerous combination."

Imoen shivered. "Do you think they're really gone this time?" she asked her best friend.

"I'd like to think so", Zaerini said. "But I won't believe Abduh is dead until I see his dead body." She paused and thought about that. "His unmoving and unanimated dead body, that is. Speaking of which, just what was he talking about before?"

"Uh, nothing", Imoen said, fidgeting a little with her pink locks. "I didn't really kill him, honestly. He tried to beat me up with his sword, see, and then there was this guy who sort of killed him instead." She grinned widely. "It was great!"

"I can imagine", Rini said. "Who was this 'guy'?"

"He didn't say. But he was cute! And really nice too."

Zaerini sighed quietly. Yes, her friend did seem to be having one of her crushes again. Probably on some vapid knight in shining armor too, straight out of the romance novels that Immy devoured with fanatical enthusiasm. The half-elf still remembered the 'Drizzt Devotion' with more than a little horror. "That's great", she said. Then she pointed at the dark cave opening across the bridge. "Now, shall we see if this mysterious priest of Cyric is at home and receiving guests?"