In The Cards

Cats tend towards the philosophy that dead prey shouldn’t be wasted. Whether it’s eaten, played with until it’s smeared all over the floor, or simply lovingly left on your pillow, you can always trust a cat to come up with a creative use for a dead body.

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

Zaerini woke up to a beam of bright sunlight tickling her nose. Yawning widely she turned over in bed, luxuriating in the feeling of soft pillows and fluffy bolsters. Mmmm…Finally a proper bed after all that time on the road. And with all the loot we got from Durlag’s Tower we can certainly afford it. Sure, the Elfsong isn’t the prettiest place in town, but it’s a great improvement over sleeping on the ground. The bard yawned once again and stretched lazily as she tried to sort out her thoughts. Let’s see now…what did we do yesterday? We arrived in Baldur’s Gate…and we dropped a cow on Elminster the Annoying. Hee hee. Wish I could see that all over again. And then…oh no. Immy…and Adahn…and That Picture. That is not good.

Now that she had started thinking about it she could remember more and more. Imoen had been almost frantic as the two girls went to bed, desperate to be reassured that the object of her adoration would forgive her little indiscretion. Poor Immy. It had to happen sooner or later, but she’s going to be so disappointed. He’d just better be gentle with her, that’s all I say. Not that I exactly can blame him for being upset either. Not where That Picture is concerned. I probably would be too.

Sighing softly the bard got out of bed and went in search of her best friend. She eventually found Imoen in the common room. The pink-haired girl was nervously pushing the sad remnants of a boiled egg about on her plate as she listened to Yeslick trying to cheer her up.

“Now don’t ye fret,” the dwarf was saying. “The lad may have been a mite upset yesterday, but I’m sure he’ll forgive it all today.”

“I hope so,” Imoen said, but she didn’t sound very certain. “But suppose he doesn’t? Suppose I’ve mucked it all up? Suppose he’ll hate me now?”

“Hey,” Rini said, sitting down next to her friend and giving her hand an encouraging squeeze. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. He may not be exactly pleased, but that’s a different story. And you just tell him that if he goes over the top he’ll have to deal with me. It’ll be all right, I’m sure.”

Imoen sighed deeply. “I hope so,” she said. “Well, there’s nothing to be done about it right now. I’ll have to wait until tonight and that’s that. What are we going to do today?”

“We’ll start exploring the city a little, get a feel for what it’s like. I thought we’d start down by the docks. The Iron Throne building is there.”

“We’re not going inside yet, are we?”

“No, no. I just want to check it out a little, that’s all. We need to find out more about what’s going on in the city before we move against Sarevok.”

“Oh!” Imoen suddenly exclaimed. “Sarevok! What with all the rest I forgot all about that.” She took out a book from her pack and handed it to her friend. “See, Adahn gave this to me. He thought you’d want it.”

“Me? What is…” And then the bard broke off as she stared at the book’s title page. “This…this is…Immy, do you know what this is?”

“Yup.”

“But…but why did Adahn have this? And why would he give it to me?”

Imoen shrugged a little. “He didn’t say. I think he was just trying to be helpful.”

“Hm. Maybe. And that makes me just a little nervous.”

Imoen’s eyes went suspiciously large and shiny. “Oh, come on Rini. He was trying to help, really he was. Don’t be like that. You like him, don’t you?”

“Yes,” the half-elf said, pulling a hand through her red hair with an exasperated gesture. “Yes, I like him. But that doesn’t mean I entirely trust him.” She shook her head. “Still, no matter his motives, this should be a very interesting read. I’ll start with it this evening when we get home.” Softpaws chose this particular moment to leap onto the table and stroll about between the plates and glasses, watching them critically in a disgusted manner that strongly reminded Rini of the way Adahn had looked at That Picture.

What is this? the cat complained. No fish? No cream? No jellied unborn mice for your beloved familiar to feast upon?

Mggllp…

What? What did I say?

Softy, never ever mention unborn mice to me when I’m about to have breakfast. Particularly jellied ones. Now you’ve made me lose my appetite.

Tsk, tsk. So sensitive, kitten? Next you’ll probably be telling me that you think I should leave the ‘pretty little birds’ alone. Mmmrrrr…wait a moment. I almost forgot… The cat jumped off the table and disappeared for a moment, before seemingly popping out of thin air to deposit a very large and very dead rat on Zaerini’s plate. You really need to practice your hunting skills you know, and since I don’t trust you to handle a live one properly I thought you could start with this. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong.

“I…think I’ll go and brush my hair,” Imoen said in a faint voice.

“Aye,” Yeslick agreed, nodding vigorously. “Me…me beard needs some grooming too…”

Sissies.

Softy, you know I love you.

Yes?

And I don’t mind the killing one bit. But could you at least quit leaving corpses on my plate?

What ever for? And it’s a present!

It’s…a two-legs thing. Most of us think that corpses should at least be left on the floor. Oh, and I have killed more challenging things than rats, in case you didn’t notice.

Not in cat-form, you haven’t. There was the definite feeling of a smirk in the cat’s mental voice. You need to learn that. And like I said, I plan to teach you everything you need to know.

Rini sighed. She had a feeling it was going to be a long day.

A few hours later the half-elf’s suspicions had been mostly confirmed. The party had started out by investigating the streets to the southeast of the Elfsong, encountering nothing more entertaining than an old seer named Gaxir, who had taken up residence at the Blade and Stars Inn. After carefully telling her that her future was ‘stemmed in darkness’ he asked her to bring him a Sphene Gem from a nearby warehouse. What he neglected to mention was that an angry basilisk that had been illegally imported into the city by some foolhardy adventurers currently guarded the gem in question. The animal was not at all pleased at being disturbed. Fortunately Zaerini’s party still had a Stone to Flesh scroll or two to spare, and they were able to turn Jaheira back. Edwin naturally couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say that he thought Jaheira was pretty much stone-faced in the first place, and that they might have spared themselves the trouble. It had taken half an hour to calm Khalid down.

Once the gem was brought back to the seer, his maddeningly cryptic response was to speak vaguely about …cities below cities, dreams beneath dreams, the past laying buried beneath the crushing weight of the present...

Whatever that means, Rini thought. I should try to do a Reading of my own in any case. Tonight, once I’ve had the time to look through Sarevok’s diary.

She found herself thinking more and more about that diary. Finally, a chance to learn some more about my brother. To better understand what drives him. What…what led him to our meeting outside Candlekeep. Yes. Tonight.

There were screeching seagulls overhead now, and the strong smell of the sea was invading her nostrils. The streets were winding towards the docks, and the warehouses were everywhere around. Empty crates and barrels stood next to the houses, and in once place there was even a small rail-track for carting about heavy goods. It’s good to be close to the sea again. I’ve missed that. There were several ships anchored here, she noticed. One of them stood out particularly with its gaudy red lanterns. She guessed it to be a tavern or something.

Close by there was a large stone building, rather impressive looking, and with a sign outside proclaiming it to be the Harbor Master’s office. “We should go inside,” Jaheira said. “The Harbor Master will know much about the merchant consortiums operating in the Gate. Perhaps he can tell us something about the Iron Throne.”

The Harbor Master, a portly and pompous-looking halfling, turned out to hold at least one important piece of information. The Iron Throne had been very successful as of late, and contrary to what one might expect their various rivals didn’t seem to be interested in countering their schemes. “Interesting,” Edwin said once the party came outside. “I wonder if this has something to do with what Scar told us. Perhaps we really ought to take a closer look at those merchants at the Seven Suns.”

“We will,” Rini assured him. “But right now I want to see what the Iron Throne itself looks like. Not to go inside of course. I just want to see the place.”

“Is that wise?” Jaheira asked. “Suppose Sarevok spots us? Then he will know for certain that you have reached the city.”

“He…he already knows that.” Zaerini hadn’t known she was going to say that until she did, but as soon as she spoke the words she knew they were true. “He…knows that I am close, though not exactly where.”

“H-how can you b-b-be so certain?” Khalid asked.

“I’m not sure. But there is something between us, I don’t know what exactly. A bond of sorts. Perhaps it is because we’re both children of You-know-who. Perhaps it’s something else. But whatever it is…I think it’s getting stronger. And I don’t think it’s going to get broken except by the death of one of us. Perhaps not even that.”

“In that case,” Edwin grimly stated, “we will make sure that it will be his death, not yours.”

It was at this moment that Yeslick suddenly cried out with indignation. “Hold it, thief! Give me back my money!”

Rini turned her had to see a man rapidly brush past the angry dwarf and disappear into the crowd. He was a very ordinary-looking man. Middle-aged, middle-sized, with a pale face and mousy hair. There wasn’t a single remarkable thing about him. Nothing, apart from his strange ability to keep just ahead of the group of adventurers sprinting after him, seemingly without even breaking a sweat. Then he disappeared into a large and elegant mansion with a blue-tiled roof, and the door closed behind him. “Nobody steals from me and gets away with it,” Yeslick growled, and hurried up the path towards the door.

“Yeslick, wait!” Zaerini called out. “It could be a…trap…” But the dwarf was already gone. The mansion was as elegant on the inside as on the outside, but there was no sign of the pickpocket.

“Nice place,” Imoen said appreciatively. “Wish I could own something like this.”

“This is nothing,” Edwin said with a dismissive shake of his head. “Compared to the Odesseiron Family Mansion, this is nothing more than an insignificant hovel.” For once Rini got a sense that his boasts actually had some solid foundation in truth.

“You must be very wealthy then,” she whispered, trying to look in all directions at once after the missing thief.

“Certainly. We’re one of the wealthiest Families, and also one of the more powerful ones. Not to mention noble.” The Red Wizard looked extremely pleased with himself. “Why, I know my every single ancestor, several generations back, on both sides.”

“Oh. That’s nice. And to think I only know of one ‘ancestor’. Still, that’s plenty.” Not just wealthy, but nobility as well. That’s not good.

Why not, kitten? Softpaws asked. I thought people appreciated that sort of thing.

I don’t mind it as such, or care about it either. I…I like Edwin, you see. Not his family fortune. But his family may not see things that way. They might think I’m just an opportunist. A gold-digger. And suppose he thinks that too?

Don’t be silly. Of course he doesn’t. And if he did, then he wouldn’t deserve you in the first place. Don’t fret about it.

All right. I’ll try not to. But I do still wish he wasn’t a noble. I can’t help being afraid his parentage may complicate things.

That’s a bit rich coming from you, isn’t it?

Oh. Yes. I suppose so. But I…

It was then that Rini’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by a deep and booming voice, speaking out of thin air. “Little pink ones, you shall all die. The son of Murder offers 10000 gold for the head of Zaerini, and we shall have it.” Four Ogre Mages suddenly appeared on the other side of the room, all of them looking very pleased. Right. A trap. I suppose that pickpocket must have been either an accomplice or some sort of summoned construct. The bard wasted no more time. A large fireball flew from her fingers, at the same time as Edwin launched one of his own. Three of the ogres died instantly. Jaheira used a wand she had found in Durlag’s Tower, calling down a roaring pillar of flame that incinerated the one survivor on the spot.

“Hm,” Rini said once the corpses had mostly stopped smoking. “It looks like Big Brother is taking me more and more seriously. 10000 now, is it? I’m flattered. And I think that such a considerate gestures deserves one in turn.”

“W-what exactly are you p-p-planning?” Khalid asked.

The half-elf smiled ominously, her golden eyes glittering. “I’m just going to send Sarevok a little gift, that’s all. Seeing that he’s so generous in supplying me with all these assassins, I think he should get one back. I just need some proper supplies…” Sarevok deserves it. I’m really tired of all these assassins. And nobody calls me ‘pink one’.

An hour later the soldier standing guard outside the Iron Throne compound saw a redheaded halfelf walking towards him with a pleasant smile on her face. “Hello there,” she said. “I wonder if you can help me with something. I’ve got a special delivery for Sarevok Anchev. Could you see that he gets it, please?” She smiled again, and held out a neat box, wrapped in paper and tied up with a big red bow. For some strange reason it also smelled faintly of smoke, as well as of something else. Bacon, perhaps?

“I don’t know,” the man said. “I’m not sure I can trust you.”

“Look, it’s perfectly safe. You can even tell him that you don’t trust me if you want to be on the safe side. But he does want to see this.”

“Very well. I shall inform him, and he can decide on his own. Just leave the thing here. Who shall I say sent it?”

The girl winked briefly. “Just describe me, would you? He knows who I am.” She paused. “Oh, and tell him that when next he’s out hiring goons, he should try to find one who can keep his head under any circumstances. Meanwhile, I’m following the example of my cat and leaving him a little…present.”