In The Cards

Secrets are strange and wonderful things. Some of them are innocent, some not so. Revealing them can bring relief and joy, or it can bring disaster. The tricky thing is in knowing which is the more likely outcome in any given situation…

Excerpt from ‘Ruminations Of A Master Bard’

“Somebody d-do something!” Khalid yelled as he vainly tried to hold the encroaching walls back by pressing his body against them. It didn’t help much, despite the fact that Jaheira and Yeslick were doing their best to help him out. “We’re all going to d-die!”

“Oh, really?” Edwin said, with a hint of fear underlying his usual sarcasm. “And here I thought we’d simply stumbled across a wonderful new slimming method. (Not that I need that of course, already being perfectly shaped in mind and body.)”

Zaerini stared in growing desperation at the moving walls. Stopping them by force was going to be useless, she could tell that. She couldn’t see any mechanism to manipulate either, and if there was a magical means of surviving being squashed flat she certainly didn’t know of it. Was there something that could be used to jam the walls? She couldn’t think of anything. And then she noticed Imoen crouching on the floor, examining it carefully.

“Look!” the thief cried out. “It’s a trapdoor, I think I’ve found the real exit! Come on, you guys, help me out here!” The adventurers hurried to assist her, slowly managing to push a large slab of stone aside to reveal a dark chute beneath.

“Everybody, get down there right now,” Zaerini told her friends, scooping up her familiar into her arms. “I’ll go last.”

“But we don’t know where it ends up,” Yeslick protested, eyeing the black hole with apprehension.

“Does it matter? If we stick around here we’re dead anyway. Now move!” The bard tried not to envision herself as flat as one of the flowers Gorion sometimes used to press between his book pages as her friends jumped into the chute, one by one. The walls were close enough by now that if she stretched out her arms she could touch them in every direction, and they centered upon the trapdoor, driving her towards it. Wouldn’t surprise me if that chute ends up in a lava river or a scorpion pit. That would be like Durlag, I think. The bastard.

Get on with it, kitten, Softpaws told her. You’re the only one left, and I really prefer my original shape to being a flat cat.

Right. Here we go then.

The half-elf took a deep breath and jumped into the chute, keeping her eyes firmly closed. Then she was sliding rapidly down the dark hole, clutching her cat desperately in her arms to keep the animal from harm. She only wished somebody would have been able to keep her from harm, she kept bouncing against the walls in a very alarming manner. OuchOuchOuchOuchOUCH…

And then she popped out of a hole in the wall like a pea from a peashooter, landing heavily on something soft that groaned. “Ouch…” Zaerini said.

“Could you please,” Edwin remarked, “try to remove yourself from my back? I thought the entire point of this exercise was to avoid getting crushed. (Under other circumstances I wouldn’t have minded such a position at all, but the force of impact is something else entirely…)” Then he suddenly sounded panicky, “I can’t move my legs! Oh no! I can’t move my legs!”

“That,” Yeslick said, “is because that’s my leg you’re trying to move. Keep yer hands to yerself, why don’t you, lad?”

“Oh. Right.”

“And speaking of hands,” Jaheira commented from somewhere deep inside the heap of bodies, “if the person who has his hands on my posterior does not remove them right now he will soon find himself short of a few fingers.”

“Ah,” Khalid said, sounding rather sheepish. “S-sorry my d-dear. It was such a g-g-golden opportunity…”

Once the adventurers had sorted themselves out and managed to divide their appendages between them, they found themselves in a short tunnel. From somewhere up ahead a *whooshing * sound could be heard, a sound that turned out to come from a device shooting giant fireballs into the circular chamber that surrounded it at regular intervals. Fortunately the regularity of the fireballs made it possible to traverse the dangerous room anyway, by running really quickly across it. On the other side yet another tunnel led into an enormous cavern. And inside that cavern was something Zaerini had never expected to see, at least not deep beneath the earth.

“Dragon,” Edwin said, his voice filled with awe. His face was eager with an almost childlike excitement that Rini suddenly found herself thinking of as ‘rather adorable’. “Just look at it, it’s a Great Wyrm, I know it!”

And so it was, or rather it had been. The dragon was long dead, but its enormous skeleton almost entirely filled the huge cave. The ribs were like a forest of enormous tree-trunks, the skull as big as a house, and the teeth…. Rini was very glad that the creature wasn’t alive. She really had no wish to fight something whose smallest tooth was much larger than she was.

“I always did want to see a dragon,” Edwin said. “Imagine what it must have looked like when it was alive…”

“I’m t-t-trying not to,” Khalid said. “Could you p-please stop reminding me?”

While the dragon was long dead, the two large wyverns that turned out to nest inside its bones were very much alive, and not at all pleased to have company. Tired as the adventurers already were, the fight was a long and bloody one. As the two beasts finally lay dead everybody was exhausted, and both Jaheira and Yeslick were completely out of healing spells. “That does it,” the druid said. “We should rest now, else we risk falling asleep on our feet.”

Zaerini nodded. “I agree,” she said. “We will make camp here and try to get some sleep.” She looked up at the dragon skeleton. “At least that thing should help us get some cover.” Then she grinned. “You know, I never expected to fall asleep beside a dragon. Then again, we’ve slept in some pretty odd places on this journey, haven’t we? So who wants to take the first watch?”

“I will,” Edwin said. “I need to study my spells anyway.” He cleared his throat and suddenly looked very interested in the state of his own boots. “Perhaps…that is…you ought to do the same, study your spells that is, if you value your life and don’t expect me to come charging in like some stupid knight in shining armor and pull you out of trouble. You are fairly good in the Art, but you can’t expect to do without practice.”

Was that a compliment I just heard? “Edwin, was there something you wanted to say?” the bard asked.

“Ah…yes. Er…since you need to study your spells as well, I was wondering…that is…if you…”

“If I what?”

“If…if…ifyouwantedtokeepmecompanyforawhile.” The last was said in a very rapid and very quiet voice, and the Red Wizard still refused to meet her eyes.

“Of course I will,” Rini said, steadfastly ignoring Imoen’s giggle behind her back. “I’d love to.”

Oh my, Softpaws said and went on cleaning her fur. A study date. How romantic. Do try to take advantage of the opportunity, kitten. Studying isn’t everything you know.

Softy, even if…even if I wanted to do something like that – which I don’t – aren’t you forgetting that we aren’t exactly alone here?

So? The cat sounded honestly surprised.

So people don’t do that sort of things with other people watching, unlike cats. And even if we did, the skeleton of a dead dragon isn’t exactly a prime romantic spot.

Then people are more stupid than I thought, and ridiculously picky. I wonder that you manage to breed at all with all these objections you’re making.

Some time later Zaerini was sitting on top of one of the dragon’s claws, trying to concentrate on her spellbook. It turned out that this was more difficult than she had expected, since she kept concentrating on Edwin instead. She’d found herself doing that more and more often as of late, thinking of him at the strangest of times. The way he was able to make her laugh, the way his intellect was a match for her own, the way his sense of humor matched her own so very closely. His face, which she was starting to be almost as familiar with as her own. And his voice. Let’s not forget his voice. Mmmmm…

Well, finally! Softpaws said. The black cat was lying on her Mistress’ lap, enjoying a thorough petting. I thought you’d never admit it, kitten.

Admit what?

Hssst! Stop it! That you fancy him of course!

The words were lightning bolts flashing across her mind, searing and illuminating. Was it true? Could it really be? She’d never really been in love; she didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. Somehow she hadn’t imagined it would be like having an itch you couldn’t quite reach, one that needed to be satisfied by somebody else. Or that it would mean feeling as if that certain somebody had managed to steal half of her soul and leave a burning ache behind. Being in love was supposed to feel pleasant. Wasn’t it? I…I suppose I might, she reluctantly admitted.I guess I do. I’ve liked him for a long time, but I think…I think it may be more than that now.

Of course it is! As if I wouldn’t be able to spot the fact that you’re in heat. Now you just go over there and tell him!

What? No! I can’t do that!

Why not?!

Because I don’t know how he feels. Suppose I make a complete fool of myself? Suppose he just laughs at me and then tells everybody about it?

The half-elf felt the cat’s head push encouragingly into her hand. Silly kitten. He won’t do that. He wants you just as much as you want him.

He does? She could feel the blood rushing into her cheeks, but deep inside her heart was singing. How do you know?

I can smell it. Remember how I told you about that? Trust me, he wants you.

Zaerini thought about this for a moment. Gradually the elation began to leave her, giving way to fear and doubt. It’s…it’s not enough though.

What do you mean?

Maybe you’re right. Maybe he wants me, as you say. But…it’s not enough. Not if he doesn’t love me, and I’m sure he doesn’t. Remember what he said when we saw Islanne’s ghost? How love was a mistake, more or less? How it had only brought her pain? And if he doesn’t want to love, then I can’t allow myself to love him either. At least not to let him know. It…it would only get me hurt in the end.

Kitten, you could be wrong about this, you know. And even if you’re not, you may be able to make him change his mind.

Maybe. Maybe not. But there’s Sarevok too. We’re in constant danger, especially me. I could die any day. Things are just too risky right now.

You can’t put it off forever.

I know. I’ll…I’ll try to find out how he feels. Discreetly. And then…once it’s all over with Sarevok, once we’re both safe…I’ll tell him how I feel then. I promise.

Very well, kitten. And I will hold you to it. You’re not likely to find a mate more suited to you, and I’m not going to let you mess this up. Now, at least go over there and talk to him.

Suddenly feeling extremely awkward, Rini moved closer to where Edwin was sitting and plopped herself down next to him, leaning against a dragon-rib. “Um…everything going well?” she asked, mentally wanting to hit herself for not thinking of something more clever to say.

Edwin didn’t seem to mind though. “Oh yes,” he said, favoring her with a rare smile. “Remember that one strange scroll I found upstairs? It seems to be some kind of extremely powerful summoning scroll, but I think I’m getting the hang of it now.”

“Oh. Good. That’s good.” Think of something to say. Something. Anything. “Er…Eddie? I was just wondering…I’d heard that Thayvian wizards usually tattoo themselves a lot. So…. how come you haven’t got any tattoos? Not that I’m complaining or anything, I mean I wouldn’t want you to look like Xzar or anything, you look just fine the way you do.” Great. Now I’m babbling.

“But I do have some tattoos,” Edwin said, his dark eyes suddenly intensely eager. “I got them when I was fifteen. (And Mother will probably never let me hear the end of it, just because I didn’t ask permission first.) It’s only that they’re normally hidden from sight, you see.”

Oooooh, dear. Suddenly I think that I ought to have picked another topic for conversation.

“Here,” Edwin said. “I’ll show you.”

“No, no, no. That won’t be necessary at all…” Edwin was pulling the hood of his robe back by now and she had no idea how she was going to stop him from progressing further. Or even if she wanted to stop him, though she tried not to think too hard about that.

“It’s no problem,” the Red Wizard said magnanimously. “They’re quite attractive, it’s such a shame I need to keep them covered up in public.”

Ulp. “Uh…speaking of cover, in mixed company it’s usually considered better and more appropriate to…” And then the half-elf fell silent as Edwin parted his black hair with his fingers. Quite nice hair it was too, thick and glossy.

“There we are,” the wizard said, pointing at his head. “The dragon is mostly hidden from sight I’m afraid, but you can probably spot the demilich, the Red Wizard sign and the succubus.” He paused and looked a little embarrassed. “On second thought, forget I mentioned the succubus. (I was fifteen, I thought it was the next best thing to a real one.)”

Zaerini felt like she had been hit over the head with a club. “But…but…I thought you meant…are you saying that the tattoos are hidden under your hair?!”

Edwin nodded. “Yes,” he explained. “It was pointed out to me that on secret missions it’s better not to stand out quite so much. I could change the color of my robes if I really had to, but growing new hair is more difficult if your head is shaved. (And besides, though I look wonderful in any incarnation I do look better with hair than without. I don’t see why I should have to be a slave to Thayvian fashion.)” He paused. “Why? What did you think I meant?”

“Oh, nothing,” Rini said in a weak voice, trying to purify her thoughts in order not to blush. “Nothing at all…”